Sides Effects of Betrayal

When you have been betrayed, your world view forever shifts. Motives are questions. Secrets are assumed. Nothing is as it seems. You want to trust but you don’t know how. You feel victimized and either accept that role in defeat or desperately search for control and assurance that you will never be a victim again.Continue reading “Sides Effects of Betrayal”

I Do Again: Remarriage Advice

It’s quite funny. I’ve been engaged for a year but for some reason, many of my coworkers only realized that I was getting married soon after the following picture made it on Facebook:   There is something about a picture (and the word “bride” by my face!) that makes it real. I feel very comfortableContinue reading “I Do Again: Remarriage Advice”

What is He?

At the beginning, I looked for a label. I needed a label. I read The Sociopath Next Door. I combed the DSM. I held his history and his traits against checklists until my eyes blurred. I wanted a label because I thought it would bring understanding. Closure. I knew he wasn’t the man I loved.Continue reading “What is He?”

Self Deception

  Self deception was the cancer that ate my marriage from within. After he was caught, my husband admitted in a text to my mom that he had started to believe his own bullshit. The fabrications he used to keep me and others in the dark were also used to protect him from the painfulContinue reading “Self Deception”