About

This blog is a space for all of those who have experienced the end of a significant relationship and are seeking to move beyond the grief and anger.  Together we can use our past traumas to help each other find balance and well-being in our lives.

My own story began in 2009, when my husband abruptly abandoned me with a text message after 16 years.  I then uncovered financial deceptions going back years and discovered that he married another woman 6 days after leaving me (yup, that is felony bigamy, in case you’re wondering).  Since that time, I have been working to rebuild and balance my life and to use my story and what I have learned from it to help others. (You can find my full story in my book Lessons From the End of a Marriage.)

The end of the marriage was a beginning of a new life. I have successfully navigated the healing process and am in a new (happy and healthy) relationship. Perhaps the title of the blog should actually be Lessons From the End of a Marriage, the Middle of Healing and the Beginning of Remarriage, but the URL would be a bit too long:) I write as one who has been there and made it to the other side.

If you want help making it to the other side, check out my complete How-To-Thrive Guide for after divorce!

This is not a blog about navigating the legal aspects of marriage, nor is it a place to bash the ex (although I am sure that may happen from time to time:) ). This blog is about re-centering and re-purposing.  Forgiving our exes, and more importantly, ourselves.  It is about how to create beauty from trauma.  Join me in the journey.

You can also find me:

Amazon

Huffington Post

MindBodyGreen

Facebook

Twitter

Pinterest

For more information on my story, see How it Began or Rewrapping Divorce as a Gift.  To share your story, please visit here.

Thank you for sharing!

222 thoughts on “About

  1. Thank you for creating a blog to share the positive about “moving on” in life after a bad breakup. It’s wonderful to learn tools to live by that help us grow instead of repeating the behaviors that brought us to this place in our relationship and ourselves.

  2. Wow, I’m sorry to hear everything you went through. But you are so strong, positive and determined, you can do anything!!

  3. looking for buddha again – I'm a divorcing dad. Betrayed via infidelity by my wife. I love my kids and miss the wholenss of my family. I never thought this could happen to us. I always thought we would be that special couple and be together forever. But... Fast forward. Now divorced and it still sucks.
    looking for buddha again says:

    Thank you for subscribing to my blog. I see you are also a fellow tough Mudder. I run in the vibrams too. After the last mudder I switched from kso to the bikilas.
    Peace to you on your journey. It’s tough to navigate through this loss of “faith” in another.

  4. I am new to blogging but not to writing. It is now 11 years past my divorce. It was a long marriage and the healing was long, many years. I have now mentored others who are divorcing and in pain and bewilderment. I am presently writing a book about my journey. For some people divorce and the crazy times it brings are over quickly and they are on with their lives. For me, it was excruciating. It had been a wonderful marriage and now my husband had become a stranger. Writing and remembering how much I still had to be grateful for got me through. I hope that you and I have many exchanges. There is always hope and be good to yourself.

    1. There are so many of us that found ourselves married to a stranger. It sounds as though you have taken control of your your story and are able to use it to help others. That is a beautiful thing.

  5. Roisin – Brighton, United Kingdom – The inscrutability of a Llama, the clarity of a Yak, and the grounded multiplicity of a Shamrock. Spiralling.
    rococonnor says:

    It’s been three years since the end of my 10 year marriage, which ended just as abruptly. A common theme: what’s up with that?… Anyway, have been witness to the marvellous healing ability of the mind and heart, of realising that I had in fact, been broken OPEN. Moved, created a new life, and marvelling as the years pass, and I find I am surviving and thriving. Meditation and therapy helped immensely.
    So happy to have come across your blog. Look forward to more posts!

  6. Hi,
    I saw a comment of yours on Meizac’s blog, and thought your picture was fantastic. I followed you here, and realized it hasn’t always been a huge big smile for you. I’m truly sorry. You have all my respect, and a new follower.
    Le Clown

  7. stephenedwards425 – Nashville, Indiana – I began life going the wrong way. After nearly two decades I had a life revelation. As part of my turn around I became an ultra-distance runner, who a few years ago, ran 3,160 mile across the United States, from Pacific Grove, CA to Rehobeth Beach, DE. Along the way I learned a few things about life, motivation, pain, and, as I like to say, "gobs of other stuff." I co-founded, along with my wife Susie, LifeRevelation. We develop the content for Women's Professional Development Conferences. What Cirque du Soliel has done for circuses is what we envision doing for motivational seminars. We incorporate acrobats, magicians, uni-cyclists, fire-eaters, hand puppets, and drama, as well as speakers, into our program. When women leave our one-day conferences, they are Stronger, Better, and Ready For Whatever. Life is a Revelation...Be encouraged!
    stephenedwards425 says:

    Hi, thanks for taking the time to read and follow my blog. I hope you enjoy the trip.

    A few suggestions are in order for the new follower. Experienced readers have found it advantageous to prepare a light alcoholic beverage or iced drink prior to starting. They then find a comfortable sitting area, put their feet up, scratch where it itches, and devote the rest of their time to enjoying my posts. I hope you find these hints helpful. 🙂

    Be encouraged!

  8. I really appreciate your articles,thoughts and views.It’s very real and helpful to me.
    I want to ask your kind permission to post some of your articles in full or excerpts on my blog with full credit to your name and a link back to your website/blog.I will be glad to welcome you as guest blogger/contributor on my blog.
    Thanks

  9. Super positive outlook on being better & refusing to be bitter! Inspirational blog! I’ve “been there, done that”…don’t think I handled it nearly as well back in the day! 🙂

  10. The only thing worse than getting divorced is not getting divorced. As you have discovered, once the divorce occurs, the healing, recovery, reordering your life, can begin. The festering can end and all can be seen in light.

    And yet with all due respect, your ex didnt become this way overnight. The deception, the money issues, the infidelity– all seemed to be on such a broad scale. Didnt you suspect anything wrong with him? Ever? What were things like when you were dating? Did you miss signs?

    1. Thank you for asking in a polite way. I’ll address this briefly here, but more fully in a post at some point. First, there was no “festering,” at least not on my side. We were laughing together at a fireworks show days before and were slated to go to the coast a few days hence.

      I know this is uncomfortable to believe, but there were no signs other than a few strange things the last two weeks (during which he was out of town and we couldn’t easily talk). He worked (hard) to intentionally keep things hidden. I do not know when the lies started, if they were always there or came in later to cover some misdeed. Since he disappeared, I will never be able to uncover what happened. I have had to let it go.

  11. Jennifer Bichara – Jennifer Bichara is as free as the statue of liberty. She is now a part-time writer and art blogger whose work revolves around managing websites, web content, social media, and working around WordPress for various clients all over the world. She is a champion of women’s causes especially that of Filipinas and the love for art and art sake.
    jennysserendipity says:

    Wonderful and a great blog. I was directed by Life Revelations to check out your blog and I thank him for doing so. I have been through a different trauma and in the process of healing myself. I will follow and try to stop by from time to time to say hello to your blog. Your new follower, Jenny

    1. Welcome:) I wish you the best on your healing and please feel free to share your perspective at any time. There is much in common between the trauma of divorce and other traumas and we can learn about both by exploring these.

      1. Jennifer Bichara – Jennifer Bichara is as free as the statue of liberty. She is now a part-time writer and art blogger whose work revolves around managing websites, web content, social media, and working around WordPress for various clients all over the world. She is a champion of women’s causes especially that of Filipinas and the love for art and art sake.
        jennysserendipity says:

        Will do and thank you very much.
        All the best, Jenny

  12. sherrylcook – I am 51 years young and I am living my life full time and in fast forward motion. I am checking off my things to do bucket list whenever possible. I believe this is the BEST time of my life for so many reasons. I have two daughters, two Grand daughters, a dog, a stray cat or two and a great boyfriend....what more could I ask for? and now....I'm starting a blog!!!!
    sherrylcook says:

    wonderful premise for a blog. Thank you for the follow! I wish I would have had blogs like this to read during my divorce. It is a dark time but at the other end is a glorious awakening of renewed confidence, strength and excitement for the future. look forward to following your blog!

  13. I can only say that I’m sorry for your experience–I have no words of wisdom. It took a long time for me to stop defining myself as “divorced” (like a scarlet letter D). God bless you abundantly–Caddo

  14. Do you think we need to forgive our exes as you mention above? I recently read a good book called “How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To” and from it I decided that I don’t need to forgive my ex. And it definitely doesn’t sound like you should forgive yours. The book says that if they do nothing to earn your forgiveness you don’t have to give it to them. Instead you can reach acceptance… accept the situation and move on, etc., etc., but it doesn’t mean you forgive them. I have two kids with my soon-to-be ex and I figure I can be cordial with him, maybe even become friends eventually, but I will not forgive him for the way he treated me and what he did…

    I’m glad I found your site… I live in a smallish town that has no divorce support groups (interestingly there is one for those that have been cheated on that I’ve started going to) and I don’t know any divorced/single people in town to talk to or hang out with when I don’t have the kids. I really feel very isolated. My married friends have been really good… almost all of them at least… but they are understandably busy with their families. And there is a lot of stuff going on with me that they just don’t understand (and they should be happy about that!). I’m not really ready to date yet (we separated in Jan, he moved out in April) so it’s hard to meet just friends.

    1. Welcome:) I’m glad you found the site!

      I have a feeling that what you are calling “acceptance” and what I am naming “forgiveness” are really the same thing. I chose to forgive him for me; it has nothing at all to do with him. Part of the forgiveness was accepting responsibility for my part while refusing to take the blame for his. Now, granted, we never had children so that makes it much easier…

      Does your area have any Meetup.com groups? That site was perfect for me when I needed new social groups but I was not ready to date.

  15. lovelyseasonscomeandgo.wordpress.com – I like to call my self a happy soul, a daydreamer and have a heart of a gypsy. Love to use my imagination. And trying out new things. Life can be so wonderful and enjoyable when I am being positive and releasing.
    signsandwonders2020 says:

    http://lovelyseasonscomeandgo.wordpress.com
    Hi i appreciate your like of my post why did i get married. I am so glad you made me aware of your blog because i am loving it and will visit often. Please feel free to stop by mine anytime. Take care. Betty

  16. misslisted – Seattle mother of 3 young adults, sister, daughter, wife, yoga teacher, prison volunteer for Yoga Behind Bars, meditator, mediator, nature appreciator, star-gazer, observer, contemplator, witness, seeker, finder, laugher, crier, lover of people, and blurter-outer of all sorts of nonsense.
    misslisted says:

    wow girl! thanks for following my blog, looks like I will enjoy yours as well!

  17. Thank you for visiting my blog and subscribing. I can’t say that I have any answers or even am able to yet formulate many of the questions. As I say it in my blog – it is all about the journey, not the destination.

  18. Otir – French blogger in the US writes on cultural differences, disabilities, religion, social media and politics.
    Otir says:

    Stilllearning2b, thank you for stopping by my “20th Anniversary” blogpost, giving me a chance to discover your blog in return.

  19. gatheringmossblog – I am a thirty-something geologist that is embarking on the scariest adventure to-date. I am trying to have an adult relationship with my family. Let me give you a brief history. I went away to college at 16 years old, and have not lived in the same state as my family since then. I have just moved in with my divorced mother so that I can make a career change. I have lived different places every four to five years. I plan on this being the last move. I now want a sense of family and belonging I have never had my entire adult life. And I have no idea why. Let me tell you a little about me. I am biracial and the first of my family to finish college. I have daddy issues. I have a congenital heart defect. I am committed to making a positive impact on the world, but realize I have to do that for myself first. I am confused, and 100% certain about it. This is my "Captain's Log" as I cruise through this uncharted territory. Hopefully, we can enjoy the ride together. ~Sonja Braun UPDATE: As of Sept 2013 I no longer live with mom. No more shame! I am once again fully independent.
    gatheringmossblog says:

    Whoooooo!! Tough Mudder!! You sure are!

  20. Hi Lisa…I owe you an official message 🙂 I’ve nominated you for the ‘very inspiring blogger’ award, for reasons that are obvious. You are a very strong woman, and your words are inspiring countless others to take charge of their lives and live to the fullest! Thanks for inspiring me. (It’s ok if you don’t wanna accept it/ pay it forward)
    loads of love!
    http://foroneplease.wordpress.com/2012/07/29/inspiration-awarded/

  21. I am moved by your introduction above. This reminds me of how a storm causes trees to topple, soil to flood, and houses to wreck. But a ceasing storm will leave the air more fresh, the sky cleaner, and the fields more fertile. Never curse a tragedy because even a heaven on earth occurs after a great calamity.

    Many blessings to you, Lisa. 🙂

    Subhan Zein

    1. Well said:) I’m not sure if you read my Tsunami Divorce page, but I pretty much say the same thing. I was devastated by the great wave, but now I stand on a clean shore, a tabula rasa upon which I am rebuilding. Thanks for stopping by!

  22. akarmin – Aaron Karmin is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, who holds a master’s degree in clinical psychology as well as an advanced certification in stress management. He has been offering marital, group, and individual therapy to adults and adolescents for 10 years. He has experience serving a diverse spectrum of clients with a wide array of concerns. Aaron's solution focused techniques promote frustration tolerance, positive relationships, and a healthy lifestyle. Aaron collaborates with his clients to enhance personal growth by acknowledging individual choices to encourage happiness and success. He creates a warm therapeutic environment that fosters acceptance, empowerment, and healing.
    akarmin says:

    Hi I’ve enjoyed reading what you have written…I’ve found that often the best way to capture such experinces is thru story and metaphor…so here is one of my fav’s: There once was a King who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The King looked at all the pictures, but there were only two he really liked and he had to choose between them.

    One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror, for peaceful towering mountains were all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace. The other picture had mountains too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky from which rain fell and in which lightening played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all. But when the King looked, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest… perfect peace. Which picture do you think won the prize? The King chose the second picture. “Because,” explained the King, “peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace.”

  23. Link – I am the founder of The §ic gaming community. This blog is a way for me to be able to publicly make myself known to others outside the community as the leader of a large scale gaming group, and writer. These messages will not be censored, and are a collection of events over the coming years of my life, and the lives of others. I tend to provoke a reaction from my posts, and aim to do so consistently. I'm always open for debate or for chatting, so please feel free to message me through one of my contact sources.
    Link says:

    After combing several of your posts, I think this blog is healthy for my growth. I’m involved in a brand new committed relationship, and the last thing I need is a specter from my past bringing doubt into my partnership. Thanks for the insight.

  24. 3kids2cats1divorce – Middle aged, stay at home mom to three teenagers, with two fat house cats lounging about. Estranged spouse has moved out to have a midlife crisis. I'm figuring out who I am, how to be a single mom, and looking for a job after 18 years at home raising kids. The kids and cats just want to be fed. Update January 2015: My estranged husband is now almost my ex-husband, just waiting for the judge to sign the papers. I've gone back to college and my youngest kid has started high school, which my local school board has deemed appropriate to start at 7-frickin'-o'clock in the morning. It's been almost three years since the midlife crisis blew up my family and I'm finally seeing the light at the end of that very long tunnel.
    3kids2cats1divorce says:

    Hi Lisa, I love your blog so much I nominated it for an Inspiring Blogger Award. If you’re interested in participating, pop over and check it out. It’s entirely up to you. Thanks for everything!

  25. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’ve been there too. so i truly sympathise. I hit my ex where it hurt literally, i rebuilt my self confidence and i was able to move on to a better life and finally achieve my dream.

  26. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I have been through a divorce too and hit my ex where it hurt literally (with a little help from some chilli). I rebuilt my confidence and went after my dream. I am now a happily married mum of two.

  27. mummyhoodmadness – I am a 40 year old mum of three boys, who finally (after 15 rollercoaster years, involving a financial career, divorce, re-marriage and kids) is trying to catch her breath and make sense of it all. © Mummyhoodmadness and Wordpress, 2012 to 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mummyhoodmadness and Wordpress with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
    mummyhoodmadness says:

    What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and i guess sometimes you have to believe there is a bigger picture. I went through a horrific divorce 7 years ago and i found the strength to hit my ex where it hurt (with the help of some chilli amongst other things). I managed to rebuild my confidence and my life and i am now a happily married mother of two. A divorce is something that happens to us, it is not who we become.

  28. mummyhoodmadness – I am a 40 year old mum of three boys, who finally (after 15 rollercoaster years, involving a financial career, divorce, re-marriage and kids) is trying to catch her breath and make sense of it all. © Mummyhoodmadness and Wordpress, 2012 to 2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Mummyhoodmadness and Wordpress with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
    mummyhoodmadness says:

    What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and i guess sometimes you have to believe there is a bigger picture. I went through a terrible divorce over 7 years ago, but i managed to hit my ex where it hurt literally (with the help of some chilli amongst other things). I found the courage to rebuild my confidence and my life and now i am a happily married mum of two. A divorce is something that happens to you, it isn’t who you become. Never let go of your dreams and don’t let anyone push you down.

  29. I found your blog this morning and I am so glad to come across it. My divorce has been final for almost two weeks now, although we have been apart for almost a year. It is encouraging to see that people do heal, move on and flourish in their new lives. I am looking forward to flourishing and moving on too. The healing is starting, and I am beginning to see the 10 years I was with my ex-husband as a learning experience and be thankful for the things I did accomplish during those years.

    1. I’m glad you found the blog as well. It seems like a perfect fit for you. I hope that you are able to find some support and healing among these pages and the people that frequent them. Welcome 🙂

  30. Im excited to read your book. True story of survival. One question, however. Did your ex-husband stay with his second wife? Did she forgive him? And have you moved on and started dating? Im a gay man, and moving on has proved difficult for me. Breakup’s and divorces BLOW! XXX, B.

    1. That’s a lot to answer! Check out my post “Where is He Now?” for info about my ex and his other wife. As for me, I’m in a great place now!

      I’d love to hear more about your perspective as a gay man on my posts and book. I have followers and reviewers who are male, female, married, single, and divorced, but I don’t think I have any that identify as gay. Please feel free to share your view. So much of what I talk about in common to the human experience, regardless of our labels.

  31. Hi Lisa, lovely to ‘meet you’ and thank you for liking my blog.

    I find your blog and writing inspiring and I’m very happy to stay connected with you through WordPress. While very different to yours, I too have described my divorce a tsunami as it also ‘hit me’ out of the blue. I see those big moments in our life as our ‘wake up’ calls – a kind of ‘spiritual kick in the arse!’ if you know what I mean. While we can block things out of our mind, I believe there is always an organic process going on underneath pushing truth to the surface. A big part of my journey has been uncovering and understanding those hidden layers, as it is for many of us.

    Now being a midlife transition coach and Holotropic Breathwork practitioner, I feel truly blessed to be accompanying other women on their heroine’s journey of divorce. It really is a sacred journey!

    Love and blessings to you!
    Linzi

    1. Oh do I ever know what you mean! It is amazing how we can rewrap divorce as a gift and turn something we never wanted into something that is transformative in a positive way. Thanks for stopping by and commenting! 🙂

  32. ourlifein3d – Life In 3D started as my Daddy Day Dare. I became a stay at home Dad years ago. My fast-paced professional life was thrown in reverse as I taught phonics and watched yet another episode of Dora The Explorer. Now, many years later, my girls are starting to grow up a little. 'Cute and cuddly' is being replaced with homework, spankings and braces. Check in from time to time to see how this experiment continues to evolve. See if I can survive as the only male in the house. I will offer our stories on the girls' escapades; never dull and hopefully amusing!
    Our Life In 3D says:

    Hi, I just nominated you and your blog for a Liebster award. if you are curious check out my blog. it won’t cost you a thing! Congrats!

  33. Life's Labyrinth: looking at life through a shattered lens – My life's journey has been a long endless road of having to find myself, my purpose in life, to remain strong, hopeful, positive, and picking up the broken pieces along the way and not giving up on my dreams and in life. Writing has always been my best form of communication, of self expression, my only escape.
    vidablogg says:

    Your journey is commendable. I hope to one day get to a point where I can feel empowered and regain that part of my life i’ve lost…slowly working my way there.

    1. I’m not sure it’s so much regain is it is build new. Some things may be lost forever but doesn’t mean you cannot find something even better in its place.

      I like the word “empowered” – you do have the power to change your perspective and choices, and those in turn can change your life.

      I wish you the best:)
      Lisa

      1. Life's Labyrinth: looking at life through a shattered lens – My life's journey has been a long endless road of having to find myself, my purpose in life, to remain strong, hopeful, positive, and picking up the broken pieces along the way and not giving up on my dreams and in life. Writing has always been my best form of communication, of self expression, my only escape.
        vidablogg says:

        I concur.

          1. Life's Labyrinth: looking at life through a shattered lens – My life's journey has been a long endless road of having to find myself, my purpose in life, to remain strong, hopeful, positive, and picking up the broken pieces along the way and not giving up on my dreams and in life. Writing has always been my best form of communication, of self expression, my only escape.
            vidablogg says:

            Neither do I interestingly 😀 …it has been long replaced by “I agree”

  34. everydayclimb – I'm a woman with lots of uphill climbing behind me. I'm a freelance writer and editor and am a mortician by education (retired from it). I enjoy working online and writing my first Young Adult book.
    everydayclimb says:

    Hello! Since I’ve been enjoying your blog posts for a while now, I took the opportunity to nominate (well, award) you for (with) a 2012 Blog of the Year badge! Please see my latest blog post for more. 🙂 XO! http://everydayclimb.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/2012-blog-of-the-year/

  35. lovelyseasonscomeandgo.wordpress.com – I like to call my self a happy soul, a daydreamer and have a heart of a gypsy. Love to use my imagination. And trying out new things. Life can be so wonderful and enjoyable when I am being positive and releasing.
    signsandwonders2020 says:

    http://lovelyseasonscomeandgo.wordpress.com
    Hi thank you so much for following my blog, i am enjoying your blog a lot too. So have a wonderful day and happy holiday. Betty

  36. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap – The year 1895 was filled with memorable historical events: the Dreyfus Affair divided France; Booker T. Washington gave his Atlanta address; Richard Olney, United States Secretary of State, expanded the effects of the Monroe Doctrine in settling a boundary dispute between the United Kingdom and Venezuela; and Oscar Wilde was tried and convicted for "gross indecency" under Britian's recently passed law that made sex between males a criminal offense. When the news of Wilde's conviction went out over telegraphs worldwide, it threw a small Nevada town into chaos. This is the story of what happened when the lives of its citizens were impacted by the news of Oscar Wildes' imprisonment. It is chronicle of hatred and prejudice with all its unintended and devastating consequences, and how love and friendship bring strength and healing. Paulette Mahurin, the author, is a Nurse Practitioner who lives in Ojai, California with her husband Terry and their two dogs--- Max and Bella. She practices women's health in a rural clinic and writes in her spare time. All profits from her book are going to animal rescue, Santa Paula Animal Shelter, the first and only no-kill shelter in Ventura County, CA, where she lives. (see links below on Ventura County Star Article & Shelter) To find out more please go the The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap on facebook or Amazon or e-mail us at the gavatar addresses. Thank you. (photos: of Paulette, her family, and a reading at The Ojai Art Center, July 2012)
    The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap says:

    Great photo. Great site. Bless your ever loving, ever giving, sweet heart. Happy New Year. Paulette

  37. Hello, I hope it is not too late to wish you a wonderful New Year. May 2013 bring you more happiness, love, and success. Also, I would like to thank you because you continue following my blog. I hope my short stories and poetry do not disappoint and that your visits in there have been a joyful ride. Thank you again, many blessings and much love to you. 🙂

    Subhan Zein

  38. I have done the Spartan…not the tough mudder….yet 😉 great pic! glad i found your blog 🙂

      1. i liked Spartan, but have no real comparison…we don’t have mudder here yet, and now there is Mudd, Sweat and Tears that I want to try 🙂

  39. beetleypete – Beetley, Norfolk, United Kingdom – Retired from work, and moved from London to Norfolk. Getting used to a slower lifestyle, Country ways, and more time on my hands.
    beetleypete says:

    Thanks for the like, and for sticking with me since the ‘early days’. Much appreciated, as always. Pete.

  40. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap – The year 1895 was filled with memorable historical events: the Dreyfus Affair divided France; Booker T. Washington gave his Atlanta address; Richard Olney, United States Secretary of State, expanded the effects of the Monroe Doctrine in settling a boundary dispute between the United Kingdom and Venezuela; and Oscar Wilde was tried and convicted for "gross indecency" under Britian's recently passed law that made sex between males a criminal offense. When the news of Wilde's conviction went out over telegraphs worldwide, it threw a small Nevada town into chaos. This is the story of what happened when the lives of its citizens were impacted by the news of Oscar Wildes' imprisonment. It is chronicle of hatred and prejudice with all its unintended and devastating consequences, and how love and friendship bring strength and healing. Paulette Mahurin, the author, is a Nurse Practitioner who lives in Ojai, California with her husband Terry and their two dogs--- Max and Bella. She practices women's health in a rural clinic and writes in her spare time. All profits from her book are going to animal rescue, Santa Paula Animal Shelter, the first and only no-kill shelter in Ventura County, CA, where she lives. (see links below on Ventura County Star Article & Shelter) To find out more please go the The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap on facebook or Amazon or e-mail us at the gavatar addresses. Thank you. (photos: of Paulette, her family, and a reading at The Ojai Art Center, July 2012)
    The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap says:

    Just stopping by to give you a big cyber hug, you beauty you. Paulette

    1. Thanks:) How did you know I needed one? I was just reading through the comments on my latest Huff piece…the lack of tolerance and judgement that some people have makes me sad.

      Congrats on you ‘best book’ award! You are most deserving:)

      1. The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap – The year 1895 was filled with memorable historical events: the Dreyfus Affair divided France; Booker T. Washington gave his Atlanta address; Richard Olney, United States Secretary of State, expanded the effects of the Monroe Doctrine in settling a boundary dispute between the United Kingdom and Venezuela; and Oscar Wilde was tried and convicted for "gross indecency" under Britian's recently passed law that made sex between males a criminal offense. When the news of Wilde's conviction went out over telegraphs worldwide, it threw a small Nevada town into chaos. This is the story of what happened when the lives of its citizens were impacted by the news of Oscar Wildes' imprisonment. It is chronicle of hatred and prejudice with all its unintended and devastating consequences, and how love and friendship bring strength and healing. Paulette Mahurin, the author, is a Nurse Practitioner who lives in Ojai, California with her husband Terry and their two dogs--- Max and Bella. She practices women's health in a rural clinic and writes in her spare time. All profits from her book are going to animal rescue, Santa Paula Animal Shelter, the first and only no-kill shelter in Ventura County, CA, where she lives. (see links below on Ventura County Star Article & Shelter) To find out more please go the The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap on facebook or Amazon or e-mail us at the gavatar addresses. Thank you. (photos: of Paulette, her family, and a reading at The Ojai Art Center, July 2012)
        The Persecution of Mildred Dunlap says:

        You’re a dearheat! How did I know? That’s a good question. Sometimes I just get a feeling to stop by and see my friend the lovely Lisa. Always holding you in my heart and wishing you well. How could one not after reading your incredible book? Thank you for the congrats on mine. Let’s hope it helps shine a light on the intolerance that saddens both our hearts. Bib cyber hug. Paulette

  41. radaronelson – I am married. I have 2 step children, a boy and a girl and 3 children, 2 girls and a boy in the middle from a previous marriage. I am retired from the Air Force after 20 years. I'm an avid reader and just trying to make it day to day. I'm currently working on book which my plan is for it to become a series, how many in the series I don't know yet though. You will see I don't have a specific theme to my blogs. I blog about whatever comes to mind so my stories definitely vary. I even have a few poems I have written thrown in there as well as an ongoing fictional journal of the zombie apocalypse. You will notice through some other blogs though I do have a slight obsession with zombies and I'm always watching for real signs of the coming zombie apocalypse LOL.
    radaronelson says:

    I nominated you for the very inspiring blogger award
    http://radaronelson.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/very-inspiring-blogger-award/

      1. radaronelson – I am married. I have 2 step children, a boy and a girl and 3 children, 2 girls and a boy in the middle from a previous marriage. I am retired from the Air Force after 20 years. I'm an avid reader and just trying to make it day to day. I'm currently working on book which my plan is for it to become a series, how many in the series I don't know yet though. You will see I don't have a specific theme to my blogs. I blog about whatever comes to mind so my stories definitely vary. I even have a few poems I have written thrown in there as well as an ongoing fictional journal of the zombie apocalypse. You will notice through some other blogs though I do have a slight obsession with zombies and I'm always watching for real signs of the coming zombie apocalypse LOL.
        radaronelson says:

        Your welcome

            1. Okay, now that is funny! We are getting some of the first warm, sunny days of spring this weekend so my plan is to be outside as much as possible:)

              Enjoy your weekend as well!

              1. I will do my best. I am a “Saturday” kind of guy. No matter how I feel, Saturday is “Soccer Day”…Love it. Shopping today as we couldn’t go yesterday, but I am going to treat myself to a new Skype headset.
                Hard life eh..lol

                Have a good one..
                Shaun x

  42. Thanks for following my blog! I admit, after looking through your site, I’m left with a bit of a scared feeling, you know like you just can’t trust people. I am horrified that this happened to you. I think that fear is more about *my* issues though and is something I still have to “learn.” Marvelous lessons! And I can’t wait to be able to afford a yoga class! They are short on them in these parts!! 🙂

  43. I am soo sorry it has taken me so long to thank you for stopping by my blog and checking me out!! I love your blog!! I am excited you found me so I could find you!!!

  44. Thank you for following my blog. When I saw your name, it was familiar. This is a whole new world for me, and the healing/recovery process will be long, I’m sure. You’re story is very inspirational. There’s so much I want to do with my life now, when I’m truly free to do so. I feel the reins are still in place, in a manner of speaking, until after the divorce is final. The pain of deception knows no bounds, whether it was obvious, or you were oblivious. Kindred spirits unite! 🙂

      1. Perhaps I should have said, fortuitous kindred spirits. Yes, the club is not one I would want to see people lining up for. It makes me think Groucho Marks had the right idea after all.

  45. Thank you for following my blog, I’ve just been reading some of your posts and they are so moving they bring tears to my eyes. Your storytelling is exceptional. I love your blog.

    Marissa x

  46. I just found your blog and it brought tears to my eyes just to see the title. I am a novice blogger and reader of blogs. But, for 3 years now I have been trying to get a divorce after 25 years of marriage! I realized I have no clue who I am or what I like. The end is so near but, for 2 months now he my ex came to visit our adult children. I reverted back to the shell of a person that I was. He is gone now and I found blogging. And I am loving it! Thank you for having a blog that brought me comfort in knowing I am not alone. Happy blogging! Going to cruise through your past post and read a few now!

      1. I thank you very much for the welcoming! I do not feel so alone and I finally am feeling like I just may be part of something that will possibly help someone. Happy blogging.

  47. Lisa,
    I saw you on the Jeff Prost show, I was blown away by your story and I too was in a similar marriage with my ex wife. If I was married to you I would have done everything I can to make you the best wife a guy could every want, just loving you, supporting you, caring for you, money can not buy happiness I have learned this over most of my life, life is what you put into it, hope to chat sometime, you are a true blessing!!

    1. Thanks for watching and stopping by! And you are so right about money not buying happiness, nor is it something a spouse can be expected to provide. Our happiness is our own responsibility and has to come from within.

  48. amanchanged – Greater Boston – Just your average guy looking to make sense of this crazy life and exploring the changes along the way. PR/marketing/branding pro, animal advocate, car/motorcycle nut, avid DIY'er, fledgling blogger, founder of go|attitude lifestyle clothing brand. On Twitter @fejjy1.
    amanchanged says:

    Thanks for checking me out and the follow … you have a powerful story and tell it eloquently, great blog!

  49. Joy – I'm 42, a divorced, then remarried mom of an 8 year old girl, a 2 year old boy, and a bonus 12 year old son. I'm a writer and a coach, and sometimes, a teacher. People tell me I tend to be brutally honest and ...tell it like it is, so I had hoped to use this outlet to keep me sane while I got used to my new life as a stay-at-home Mom back when I was home with my daughter....it worked. And it's been therapeutic through the end of a marriage and the emergence of me...
    Joy says:

    Thanks so much for the follow- I didn’t start my blog due to divorce, but it is definitely helping me find my voice now that I’m going through one…I look forward to checking out more…

  50. Thanks for “liking” my blog. Mine is not entirely about divorce, but also includes my battle with cancer at the same time. I like how you process. Life is hard but God is good.

  51. Thanks for liking the Mandela quote I just put up. I find it refreshing so thought I would share. Well done to you is all I can say having ventured onto your own site. Live life, MM

  52. Little Miss Fit – I am 25 years old, married, and a kitty mom from Wisconsin. I am a claims adjuster and work in an office full-time. I am trying to live a healthy, balanced life. I enjoy eating healthy and exercising. This is my journey to a balanced lifestyle!
    Little Miss Fit says:

    I am so thankful that you found my blog post, which lead me to finding this blog. I can’t tell you how much this blog is going to be helpful for me going forward. Things are going to be rocky for a while, but I know I will get strength, courage, and hope from your story and from others’. Thank you so much!

  53. mashalsmom – Southwest Ohio – Who am I? I am me. Or Em, as my friends and families fondly call me. I am a daughter of God and a mom. I have felt in my heart for awhile now that I have had some life experiences that others could relate to. My hope is to reach out and touch someone through my words. It's very ironic that in this day and age of social media, social networking, etc. that statistics show more people are lonely. You don't have to feel that way. In the past eight years, I met a man, fell in love (one-sided), married him (he married me for a green card and no, I did not know that at the time), had a child and finally once I learned the truth about him, gathered the strength needed to move out and file for divorce. Our divorce was final almost four years ago. It was a process, but I LOVE my life. I have an amazing (yes, I know all parents feel this way about their children) six year old son who is the light of my life. I'm trying to raise him up the best way I know how, with roots to ground him and wings to help him fly and succeed when he is older. This blog is not a pity party of negativity. It will be quite the opposite. I have learned to accept and embrace the choices I made in the past because if I went back and made different choices, my life now would be totally different. This, as am I, is a work in progress...I hope you enjoy and I would love to hear from you!
    mashalsmom says:

    Thank you for following my blog. I just started it yesterday, so I am super new and I think I will be learning the ropes for awhile! Looking forward to reading your book.

  54. Nora L Pratt – This is one woman's journey into finding her best friend, herself. Life and marriage has caused me to lose my identity, I became so engrossed in being the "wife" that I forgot to continue to be the 'woman' I once was. This journey will hopefully take me back to that person; that woman. But I can't kid myself, this isn't all about my marriage and it's not my ex-husband's fault (though that would be so much more convenient wouldn't it?). No, this 'lack of identity' started way earlier and I intend to peal back those layers that I've so skillfully placed over the years. This Blog, and the name is all made up in an effort to protect myself and those I love for I feel there is always something to be learned by the 'bloody knees' of somebody else. So, I will start on my trek and hope to come out the other side a whole lot happier with that girl in the reflection; more importantly? I wish to come to know her, listen to her and fall in love with her.
    Nora L Pratt says:

    I wanted to thank you for popping by and subscribing to my blog… I can see that, though our situations are quite different, our journeys are mapped in similar directions. Very nice to meet a kindred spirit… congratulations on your journey and am interested in reading your book as I am pulling together the beginning of my first manuscript… Looking forward to reading more!

    1. Congrats on getting the first manuscript together- that’s quite an accomplishment. I always love meeting people on parallel journeys. Different teachers often present us with the same lessons:)

  55. Larissa – I am a somewhat recently single mother who is learning a lot about life and the joys of being a mother to an amazing little boy. I love cooking, playing music, crocheting, and being silly with my little one. I am new to blogging but I figure I may be able to help some moms (or people in general) know that they're not alone.
    Larissa says:

    I am in the middle of a divorce right now, and I am so glad I found your blog! Thank you for the like on my post. I’m looking forward to reading. 🙂

    1. Larissa – I am a somewhat recently single mother who is learning a lot about life and the joys of being a mother to an amazing little boy. I love cooking, playing music, crocheting, and being silly with my little one. I am new to blogging but I figure I may be able to help some moms (or people in general) know that they're not alone.
      Larissa says:

      I should rephrase- thank you for the follow! I’m new at this so that’s very encouraging 🙂

      1. BWSBL – When I started this blog, I was... "Coming to the end of a 25+ year abusive marriage. Strength, determination and prayer are my guide. Carefully prepping for survivor status. The Time Is Near." Today, I am waiting for my Divorce Decree and I'm SO excited to see what's ahead!
        Battered Wife Seeking Better Life says:

        You’re very welcome.

  56. Wow, I’m sorry to hear how your ex ended the relationship, and to get married 6 days later? I mean, come on pal!!

    You deserve so much better though and he was meant to leave your life so you could make room for the right man when he comes! I look forward to reading more of your blog!

  57. 2ndhalfolife – In the second (or really third?) half of my life now. Moving into the more crone stage: out of my head, into my soul. My magic is returning after many years of having lost it to the streets of life. There have been some very dark times, but these have made my journey rich with the stuff of possibility. Because out of darkness has come the glittering beauty of illumination. It has come with struggle and toil, and not without help--but I am here, and I am mostly in tact, and I'm here to share the rest of this journey with you all if you care to join me.......
    2ndhalfolife says:

    Thanks for the visit. Been divorced thrice…foolish enough to keep trying. But now happily making the journey on my own. Nice to hear you managed to find someone. 🙂

  58. Hello fellow journeywoman, and thanks for following my blog. I’ve just been reading yours and I was horrified and then delighted for you. You got back up. It’s the only thing we can do. Thank you for inspiring me to keep going. You are fab!

  59. Damn, you are gorgeous in that photo! And thank you for an inspirational blog, as I am in a similiar horrific situation right now.

  60. 2ndhalfolife – In the second (or really third?) half of my life now. Moving into the more crone stage: out of my head, into my soul. My magic is returning after many years of having lost it to the streets of life. There have been some very dark times, but these have made my journey rich with the stuff of possibility. Because out of darkness has come the glittering beauty of illumination. It has come with struggle and toil, and not without help--but I am here, and I am mostly in tact, and I'm here to share the rest of this journey with you all if you care to join me.......
    2ndhalfolife says:

    Thanks for the follow!

  61. Lisa, thank you so much for your wonderful blog. I’m from New Zealand, and some how stumbled onto your site and it has been such a help to me. Our laws and processes for dissolving a marriage are different from yours, but the pain of being cheated on and lied to and losing your best friend is the same all over the world I guess. I am truly grateful for all your positivity about how to handle the stress of this mess. Every time I start to feel like having a pity party for myself I check your site and there is always some tidbit of positive advice that helps get my focus on moving forward, not dwelling in the past. I can’t thank you enough. You are amazing. Fi

    1. And thank you for reading:) You are so right, the geography and the laws (and the details) may be different, but the pain is the same. Baby steps to the life you want. You’ll get there:)

  62. Your blog is very inspirational…actually I found it looking for info on working with Huffington Post….but got to reading it further. Anyway…great job…..PS – – – love your photo with your hate (I am a Texan too!)

  63. Hi lisa, I followed your blog not because that I am divorce or separated from my partner. I followed you because I see a very positive personality in you and I like it. I love positive people and it attracts more people to be positive in life…I look forward for more positive post..

    Good day!..

    1. Thank you:) I find that so much of what I write about has nothing really to do with divorce…it’s more about life’s lessons that I happened to learn through divorce.

      And I am in complete agreement with you – positive attracts more positive!

  64. wheremyfeetare – I am on an ever evolving journey – personally, professionally, spiritually. I look for adventure in almost every thing I do and try to learn and grow from all of my experiences whether they unfold in my backyard garden or on a trip across the country or the ocean.
    wheremyfeetare says:

    Thanks for stopping by my blog, Lisa. I’ve read your book and stop by your blog too. My divorce looks very different from yours but I experienced a lot of the same feelings and emotions. Here’s to moving forward and onward!

  65. JoAnna – On the East Coast of the USA – An open minded, tree-hugging Jesus follower, former counselor, and life-long lover of animals, I'm returning to my creative roots and have published my first book: Trust the Timing, A Memoir of Finding Love Again as well as the short version: From Loneliness to Love.
    JoAnne Silvia says:

    First I have to say, I love the photo of you (?) wearing mud, victorious! My husband left unexpectedly after 20 years of marriage. I was devastated at first. I had believed we would grow old together. Now I know that everything happens for a reason. I had a lot of learning to do, and so did my soul mate, my high school sweetheart who found me after 39 years of no contact. We never know what grand surprises are in store for us!

  66. Thank you for sharing your blog. It’s a lifesaver as I struggle through accepting that my soon to be ex-husband has chosen to give up on his family and start a new life on his own.

  67. shannonmcfadden – Calgary AB, Canada – My gift is helping people BE who they are in any given moment. My passion is creating a world where everyone feels comfortable in their own skin walking their own path in beauty. My blogs are about human nature, the good, bad, and the beauty within us.
    shannonmcfadden says:

    Hello Lisa; I enjoy your blog and your unique perspective so much I nominated you for The Sisterhood of World Bloggers Award. Good work deserves recognition.
    Please see the details here. https://lightwalker1.wordpress.com/2015/01/24/the-sisterhood-of-the-world-bloggers-award/
    Happy Blogging. Shannon

  68. Trish – USA – This blog is about the joys, terror, happiness, sadness, love, anger, pride, annoyance, the craziness, astonishment, loneliness, and relief I have felt in my 10 years a single Mom. I am an Atheist who has respect for all religious beliefs. I am a Humanist and care deeply for all of my fellow human beings. There is no telling where each post will go. It's all about surviving on pure adrenaline and sometimes sheer terror as a Single Mom because the only thing you truly care about is that your kids are thriving. I am the strongest, most fragile person you will ever know. I am me. I am real.
    Trish says:

    I love your blog so far and I’m going to read every inch of it!

      1. Trish – USA – This blog is about the joys, terror, happiness, sadness, love, anger, pride, annoyance, the craziness, astonishment, loneliness, and relief I have felt in my 10 years a single Mom. I am an Atheist who has respect for all religious beliefs. I am a Humanist and care deeply for all of my fellow human beings. There is no telling where each post will go. It's all about surviving on pure adrenaline and sometimes sheer terror as a Single Mom because the only thing you truly care about is that your kids are thriving. I am the strongest, most fragile person you will ever know. I am me. I am real.
        Trish says:

        That’s fine….I love how you write!!

  69. And I thought finding out via the bank accounts a few days before Christmas (2013). A text message is brutal. Happy to have found your blog upon a visit to mine. I will be looking for your lessons learned so I can avoid any pitfalls (19 months since finding out after several years of hell) now that I am officially single. I hope your road back to happiness ends in a lasting relationship.
    Patrick

    1. I think they’re both at the top of the sucktacular list. Sorry that happened. Dig around the site- I started writing about 3 years out and am now at 6 (and happily remarried). I share everything from the yuck (with ideas on how to cope) to the celebrations of a new life.

  70. Renee Lynn – Writer by hobby, aspiring journalist. Renee blogs a lot on her free time whether it’s on her personal blog or contributing to others. You can catch her reading newspapers, listening to NPR and enjoying those intellectually stimulating conversations that inevitably come her way. Follower her around twitter @helloitsrenee
    Renee Lynn says:

    I love your blog! Very insightful things here about positivity. Keep it up!

  71. Hi. Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you have taken the pain and the experience and transcended it to something more beautiful….your new life. I see you remarried; congratulations. I don’t know if I want to do that again, and to be honest, I didn’t always like being married. I felt trapped. I would like a companion in the future. I’m working on myself right now and I am not dating, bc if I did date I know I would latch on to someone bc I’m not whole right now. So I will wait and create my new life and discover new things about myself. Thanks for your stories!

  72. Hi Lisa, thank you so much for stopping by La Tour Abolie and deciding to follow.

  73. Hi Lisa,
    I feel quite flattered that my brain eggs/blog posts on relationships made you decide to start following me. I recommended your site to a friend. I think in life, we are all still learning to be till the day we die. Sometimes we get distraught on our paths, but if we manage to continue, we can also find the greatest happiness along that very same path, like your story shows

  74. ijustlookbadonpaper – In spite of my very Bilbo-esque attitude, ("Sorry, I don't want any adventures, thank you. Not today.") I've managed to find myself face to face with some dragons. This is my unfiltered version of identifying, escaping and sometimes accepting those dragons. My tale begins in a dark and unknown cavern of discovering my husband's sex addiction but occasionally emerges for some grand adventures. This is my journey to find love and healing, starting with me. But the already cool parts of me love both the chaos and the calm with my littles; finding new ways to love and improve my physical self that don't include my eating disorder; strengthening my soul with meditation and service and doing the Tao/Dao; and whenever possible, I love reading and ghost stories and rollerblading, I love hiking and biking and writing; and because I'm all about our mother earth, I sometimes paint empty liquor bottles. And finally, I believe that there is precious little that cannot be made better with a bit of Harry Potter. "It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." - Bilbo Baggins. Cheers to the times I've stumbled down the road and to the steps that lay before me.
    ijustlookbadonpaper says:

    I definitely needed to find you today. I look forward to getting some help and sanity along my own road to recovery.

  75. comingoutfromthedark – I am a woman on a journey of recovery. I have recently been divorced and have fought in a custody battle, after enduring 12 years of narcissistic abuse. I have been the victim of an eating disorder and currently in recovery from drug addiction. I have two beautiful kiddos and have so many reasons to be healthy and participate in a beautiful long life. It's not always easy but it's going to be worth it. This is a place to stay honest and keep an account of my road to a clean and healthy life.
    comingoutfromthedark says:

    Just came across your blog after I saw that you followed me. Thank you for following me. I look forward to reading more. I can relate to many of the things you have written so far. I find solace reading your story. Thank you so much!

  76. triciadaley – Naturally me as I can be. I am a mother, an educator, a Spiritual guide and unifier. Hopefully, I can add writer and wife to that list. Let's see where this life takes me.
    myageofaquarius says:

    Thank you for finding me! I am excited about the chock full of goodness and love you have going on here in this space. I have shared your blog with a dear sister-friend of mine who is currently in the beginning stage of her divorce process. Although I am not married or ever have been, I feel this space to be a significant service to us all. Thank you!

  77. Tama Nguyen – I'm an avid reader, tea drinker, and outdoor adventure seeker. I am convinced that God is still out to fix this broken world, and He uses us to do it. Chasing after things that matter...
    tamapress says:

    Sometimes I realize I just want the time and effort I put into our marriage to be appreciated. Actually got a text with a thank you, and that helped, but you are right in that we totally need to move on without that if it never comes

  78. Rainey – after-the-rain.org What started out as chicken scratch notes on the back pages of my boat’s logbook has now grown into a blog. These words and images help me cope with a loved one struggling with mental illness, and they help guide me through divorce, and the process of moving on. Thanks for reading along as I learn about life the hard way, do the best I can for my son in my new role as a single dad, and find weird similarities between restoring an old blue water sailboat and putting the pieces of my own life back together. Come check out my story and feel free to say hi!
    Rainey says:

    Wow, so much good info here. I’m going through a tough divorce after 16 years of marriage, and the pain is still very raw. Nice to know I’m not alone, and to see that others gave been through a similar situation and come out the other side. Thank you.

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