On the day I met my soon-to-be-ex husband in court, I was asked by the judge to wait in the hallway while she and attorneys consulted with my husband.
I have never felt so alone.
I sat trembling on that austere bench in that impersonal hall with tears streaming down my face. My past was in the courtroom, embodied in the man that had gone from lover to stranger, protector to persecutor. My future was unknown and unknowable. And my present was hell.
A hell that I felt like I was facing alone.
Because it felt like nobody could understand.
No one could relate.
Eventually, I learned that I wasn’t alone. I realized that others had been through similar situations and managed to survive and even thrive.
If you’re currently feeling alone, here are some posts for you:
It’s funny how freeing it can be to realize that you’re not special. There is a comfort to be found in accepting that we are more alike than we think.
Understanding and addressing loneliness after divorce is critical to your well-being.
I started sharing my story in the hopes that no one else would ever have to feel alone, no matter the details of their divorce. Here’s my personal message for you.
One of the ways that we feel alienated after divorce is when people start to say that we should be feeling a certain way. There is no right way to feel.
Divorce is a major loss. It’s shocking to the system. This analogy may help you find acceptance and clarity of where you are. And give you some ideas how to rebuild.
We all need support during divorce. From old to new, these are the types of friends you need during your separation.
The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone. And that goes double for those dealing with the end of a marriage. There are ways to make it more tolerable.
I never wanted to be a member of the divorce club. I’d wager you didn’t want to join either. Here are the FAQS for new affiliates.
I couldn’t relate at all to stories of conscious uncoupling. My story was more Stanley Kubric than RomCom.
This post really doesn’t have much to do with being alone, but it is a reminder of how we can change our divorce experience. Even if our exes don’t cooperate.