Divorce is a death of a marriage.
A death of the future.
A death of your present.
And, in some cases, a death of the past you thought you had.
Like any death, there is an intense sense of loss. Of mourning.
I remember feeling the aching void left behind by his absence. I worried that I would never trust again. Never love again.
I feared the best was over and loss was all that was left.
If you are feeling heartbroken and miserable, these posts are for you:
It’s so easy to believe that the way things are right now is the way they will always be. But everything changes. Even suffering.
It’s tempting to try to avoid the pain. But you can’t outsource healing; you have to do it yourself.
When you are in pain, the calendar can be your enemy. How do you handle anniversaries?
The pain may have come in a great crashing wave, but it recedes like the tide, slowly and leaving pools behind.
For a time, I thought I would have to excise all memories of my marriage from my mind like some cancerous growth. It turns out that memories can remain while the pain fades.
Are you thinking recursively or using input-output? It matters.
We zero in on what we know and what we know is the past, the pain. Try making the belief that the best is yet to come at the center of your heart and aim your thoughts that way.