“Why can’t I be healed already!” I cried in frustration as I (over)reacted to yet another trigger.
We often expect healing to occur on our timeline. We seek to control the process and provide a deadline for the outcome.
But healing doesn’t work that way.
It’s two steps forward. One step back. And then a cha-cha slide detour to the left.
With the occasional fall off a cliff.
One of the biggest tricks our brains play on us is the idea that the way we feel right now is the way we will always feel.
It’s not.
If you are feeling stuck after your divorce, these posts will help move your journey along:
Often we have made more progress than we give ourselves credit for. Try looking back to see how far you’ve come.
Just because it happened to you, doesn’t mean it happened because of you. Sometimes you’re just collateral damage.
I assigned my divorce decree magical powers; I thought it was the ticket to healing. It wasn’t.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Are you sabotaging yourself? You may be surprised.
All infidelity is not created equal. Understanding that can help stop you from comparing your situation to others.
Healing is not about giant leaps. It’s about baby steps. One step at a time.
Dating again cannot stop heartbreak. All it can do is delay it for awhile.
Are you convinced that you need to understand why it happened in order to move on? Careful. It’s a trap.
Does healing after divorce ever make you feel like you’re playing Chutes and Ladders? Yeah, me too.
You know the five love languages, but do you know the five voices of divorce? You should, because they’re speaking to you.
Just because divorce is something you can’t simply “get over,” it doesn’t mean it has to hold you back.
Are you engaging in a pissing contest of pain? It’s common and it’s a winless game.
Sometimes we allow our divorce to become our identity. Learn to let it go and find yourself again.
Endings come in stages. Do you know what comes next?
Are you struggling with your negative emotions? It’s okay to show them the door.
Do you know the difference between quitting and letting go? It’s an important distinction.
Wondering what happens to the one who leave? Your happiness doesn’t depend upon their unhappiness.
Thank you the wonderful inspiration. Still in the process of making plans to leave and divorce. I’m trying to find the resources to start over again. God bless
I feel stuck, for sure. My mairrage e nded after 29 years. The thing is I’m 18 Years older than him, for 25 years, we had the happiest marriage ever, so compatible, so in love. We beat all the odds. I looked way younger, we had the same interests, it was heaven. A nd then, he fell out of love with me. I don’t really think my age was the problem, I still looked great. But, he changed. For 3 years he was unfaithful, I trusted him so completely I could t see the forest for the trees. Now, I am 73, who is going to want me? He is 54, he has a .I’ve to live, I am mourning the loss so badly I can barely function. What is there left for me? I am so depressed I quit eating, lost 30 pounds, don’t look nearly so good, wonder what I did wrong and how an I ever get over such a horrible beyrayal?