The Importance of Rituals

We mark life’s important milestones with rituals – words and actions, often shared with others, that become a signpost that one stage has ended and another has begun. After death, […]

Marital Climate vs. Marital Weather

It’s been an odd winter in the Southeast this year. We’ve had record rainfall and relatively moderate temperatures. The near-constant flooding has meant that most of the trails (many of […]

Separating Facts From Stories

There are the facts. And then there are the stories we weave from the facts. Fact: My ex-husband had an affair with a woman he met on a business trip. […]

9 Years Ago Today

It’s been long enough now that it feels like an entirely other lifetime. I struggle to bring the image of my ex-husband to mind (not that I have any reason […]

not ready to hear the message

When You’re Not Ready to Hear the Message

“How could you not have known what was going on?” my friend gently implored after learning about my then-husband’s betrayals and deceptions. “I don’t know!” I lashed out, “I’m not […]

What Do People Get Wrong About You?

What do people get wrong about you? It’s obvious in hindsight that I didn’t know my ex-husband. And it seems that, even after sixteen shared years, he didn’t know me […]

Peace Offering

My ex husband has visited me the past several nights. Not in person, thank goodness, but in my dreams. When I awoke from the first one, I found myself strangely […]

When New Information Comes to Light

I became conditioned to be afraid of the mail. And the ringing phone. Even email had the ability to send my stomach plummeting down towards my feet. Because each intrusion […]