Love Testing

Love testing. It's one of the reasons that teenagers are difficult to deal with. Before they take the leap out into the adult world, they want the security that comes from knowing that you love them unconditionally. Your words and prior actions are often not sufficient for these temperamental creatures. They want reassurances. They want … Continue reading Love Testing

Understanding Projection

My ex husband accused me of cheating. Never to my face, maybe because he feared my response or because on some level he knew the claim was baseless, but to his friends and coworkers. After he left, I learned that others had been hearing graphic and disturbing stories of my supposed infidelity for years. He … Continue reading Understanding Projection

Three Reasons NOT to Seek Closure

I was good at coming up with excuses. I must send him another email (even though he didn't respond to the first two) so that he knows the impact of what he's done and it might prompt him to apologize. I have to contact the police about his bigamy because it is a crime and … Continue reading Three Reasons NOT to Seek Closure

Understanding Triggers

https://youtu.be/rjtlE2sZHTY   Want more ideas and support on dealing with triggers?   Facing Avoidance We avoid because we do not want to suffer. Yet suffering then becomes the background noise of our lives.   Learning to Trust Again: How to Deal With the Triggers There are times when the triggers are activated because of a … Continue reading Understanding Triggers

The Pathology Behind the Lie

I don't get spooked easily. But I'm spooked right now. Not because of anything imminent. But because I'm really starting to understand what kind of danger I may have been in. When the police first told me how lucky I was to make it out of my first marriage alive, I brushed off their concern. … Continue reading The Pathology Behind the Lie