The Most Important Lessons From My Divorce

Often the lessons we need most are the ones we are most resistant to. I never wanted to be divorced. In fact, losing my husband, through any means, was my greatest fear in life. So, when I found myself suddenly facing divorce at the age of 32 after being betrayed by my best friend and … Continue reading The Most Important Lessons From My Divorce

Marriage is Not a Test

Marriage is not a test. I lived. I loved. I lost. But I didn't fail. Society makes assumptions about those who are divorced. Maybe we lack the fortitude to persist through difficulties. Perhaps we possess some great fatal flaw that makes us unable to sustain matrimony. Or, possibility we are flighty, given to jump in … Continue reading Marriage is Not a Test

I Was Lucky

I was lucky. I never spent time in a decaying marriage. The lies that destroyed the relationship protected me for its duration, keeping me cloaked in relative comfort. I was lucky. I never had to wrestle with the question of should I stay or should I leave? That decision was made for me. I was … Continue reading I Was Lucky

Signs You’re Holding On When It’s Time to Let Go

holding on

Letting go is hard. Damned hard. I first learned this as a young child, exploring my grandmother's basement, packed to the ceiling with carefully labeled and organized items as though she was preparing to seek refuge from the apocalypse. Which, in many ways, she was. She lived through starvation and disaster on the Dakota prairie. … Continue reading Signs You’re Holding On When It’s Time to Let Go

The Value of Therapy

value of therapy

"What is the value of therapy?" the email continues, after the writer has detailed her struggles moving through divorce. Another message contains the statement, "I've been in therapy for years and I'm wondering if it's working." "How do I know if therapy is for me?" implores a man who has been blindsided by his wife's … Continue reading The Value of Therapy