My ex husband used to tell me, "I'll never hurt you." I knew it was bullshit. After all, the ones we love are also positioned to hurt us the most, even when it's unintentional. Yet even though I knew his statement was wrong, I chose to believe him. Because I wanted it to be true. … Continue reading Six Ways We Hurt the Ones We Love
Communicating your boundaries can be difficult, especially when it is an important relationship to you. Maintaining those boundaries when they're challenged or when the consequences become distressing is even harder. The following strategies will help you set and maintain boundaries within your relationships at home, at work and in the world at large: Learn What … Continue reading How to Get Better at Setting and Maintaining Boundaries
"But what if I lose the friendship?" I thought as I debated about pressing send on the text message. "So what if you do?" my inner voice replied, "Would that be so bad?" Feeling guilty, I worried that I would be perceived as rude. I was concerned that this person would decide to cut off … Continue reading Why So Many of Us Struggle With Maintaining Boundaries
I wish there was a class in high school that taught people about the importance of setting and maintaining boundaries in personal relationships. Unfortunately, the powers-that-be decided that learning the exact year of the Battle of the Alamo was more important than learning how to have healthy relationships with yourself and others. And so, we're … Continue reading Signs That You Need to Strengthen Your Boundaries
Parenting can help us learn about boundaries. Imagine a family with a young child. In this household, the rule is, "No cookies until after dinner." The child, as children do, continually tests this rule. "Maybe if I scream loudly enough, I'll get that cookie", they think. They push and poke to see what they can … Continue reading What Are Boundaries in Personal Relationships?