Understanding Projection

My ex husband accused me of cheating. Never to my face, maybe because he feared my response or because on some level he knew the claim was baseless, but to his friends and coworkers. After he left, I learned that others had been hearing graphic and disturbing stories of my supposed infidelity for years. HeContinue reading “Understanding Projection”

We Don’t Talk About That

It usually starts in childhood. The son learns to play the clown whenever the topic of conversation begins to make his father uncomfortable. The daughter of divorced parents learns that mentioning the other parent has a tendency to end in tears, so it’s better to simply keep quiet. At school, any mention of financial strugglesContinue reading “We Don’t Talk About That”

Are You In Love With the Person or With Their Potential?

I was lucky. The decision to file for divorce was a no-brainer for me. At that point, my husband was MIA, had committed bigamy and had used all of my money (and credit) to fund his other life. Many of you do not or did not have that decision present itself in such a clear-cutContinue reading “Are You In Love With the Person or With Their Potential?”

How Long Should You Wait For Promised Change?

“He promised he would change. But he’s still the same. I can’t go on like this.” “She said she was going to be different, but it hasn’t happened yet. How long do I wait?” One of the harder places to be in any relationship is waiting for the other person to follow through with promisedContinue reading “How Long Should You Wait For Promised Change?”