Shame: The Silent Relationship Killer

In most discussions of the common relationship killers, the usual suspects are named: infidelity, finances, addiction, abuse, changes in external demands, or a growing distance between the partners. Yet, there is a silent relationship killer that often lurks underneath those commonly listed reasons and is a contributing factors to many reasons cited for a relationship's … Continue reading Shame: The Silent Relationship Killer

Look Out For These “Red Flag” Phrases

I'd never do anything to hurt you. This is naive at best and a manipulative distraction at worst. In any meaningful relationship, the occasional hurt is unavoidable.  Toes are carelessly stepped on, harsh words erupt before they're caught and actions are misconstrued to have an alternate meaning. Hurt happens. And it's what happens after that … Continue reading Look Out For These “Red Flag” Phrases

Five Signs That You May Be in Denial

If I had been able to be honest with myself during my first marriage, I would have known that something was wrong. But I wasn't honest with myself. Instead, I was doing the adult equivalent of the child hiding under the covers when a strange noise reverberates throughout the house. Part of my brain was … Continue reading Five Signs That You May Be in Denial

Slowly Turning Up the Heat: The Dark Side of the “New Normal”

A "new normal" can simply be a period of adjustment, of accepting what has changed and adapting to a new environment. This type of acclimatization may be uncomfortable, but it is ultimately relatively harmless and potentially even provides opportunity for growth. Learn more about the "new normal" after divorce. But that's not always the case. … Continue reading Slowly Turning Up the Heat: The Dark Side of the “New Normal”

How NOT to Be a Victim (No Matter What Life Throws at You!)

“Let me introduce you to the victim advocate,” offered the policeman who had arrested my husband the day before.   I stopped short. That was the first time that word – victim – had ever been applied to me. I certainly felt victimized. My partner of sixteen years had just abandoned me with a text … Continue reading How NOT to Be a Victim (No Matter What Life Throws at You!)