Two Ladies Going to Verona (In Honor of Mother’s Day)

It was a happy accident.  My mom was talking about how she met the goal of improving her blood work (cholesterol, glucose, etc.) and needed a new motivation to continue to eat right and exercise.  I was feeling the travel bug biting hard and my unused passport in my maiden name was growing restless.  And, somehow, some way, the topic of Italy came up.

She mentioned that it was her dream destination.  The top contender on the bucket list.  I casually mentioned, “Why don’t we do it together.”  I heard her face light up over the phone.  She grew excited.  Giddy.  We only had a few minutes until I had to go, so we quickly talked through some basics.  I had made the trip to Italy once before with a high school group, so I had some idea of what I wanted to do on this trip.  I thought of the places I had gone and what I wanted to share with her. I took off like a rocket.

Rome, of course.  The history there.  Piazza Navona and that little gelato place.  Vatican museum.  That place was amazing.  Famous artwork even lined the hallways to the bathrooms.  All those cathedrals.  The Coliseum.  I wonder if it’s still full of cats?  The Pantheon.  That one caught me by surprise.  The beauty and unexpected joy of the rain pouring through the occulus.   Florence.  The Uffizi Gallery.  Oh my god, those statues were amazing.  Pompeii.  I still dream of that place.  Inspiring and haunting all at once.  All the images came tumbling back.

I never made it north of Florence.  She began to speak wistfully of Venice and the lake country.  We would have to include those, as well.

When?  We set a date.  Summer of 2013.

All of this occurred in under 20 minutes.  A trip sketched out.  A dream laid.

Good thing I tossed a coin in here 20 years ago!

I had a busy evening with friends that night.  She had a busy evening too; purchasing travel and Italy apps, buying books, and beginning research.  I could tell she was thrilled.  Even better, I could tell she was motivated to stay healthy to be able to handle the rigors of Italy.  I am excited to be able to do this trip together: mother and daughter.  We will have our challenges, but they are known ones and mainly due to our different paces.  It’s a good thing that I have mellowed somewhat and that my Vibram running shoes pack down small:)  I am looking forward to showing her the sights that made such an impact on me 20 years ago and seeing the look on her face as she visits the locals of her dreams.

This was just a few short weeks ago.  Since then, she has mapped out the itinerary and started researching hostels.  I have begun the process of figuring out how to feed myself while there (luckily, it looks like gluten free will be easy, but I remember them all too clearly calling me a “sadomasochist” for being vegetarian when I was a teenager).  I’ve been inundated with Italy-themed emails and the first “mom” package of books has arrived.  I love it.  I get to see my mom excited and, for me, I get to obtain the first stamp on the passport of my new life.

Look out Verona, these two ladies are coming your way!

How a Date With a Dog Opened my Heart

When I first started dating again, I was guarded.  I was ready to date rather quickly, but not quite ready to fully trust or to completely open up to another.  I viewed dating as a fun pastime, an opportunity to do things, get to meet new people, and learn more about myself.  I had no expectations, no goals, and no objectives.  I kept myself at a safe distance by telling my story early (just imagine hearing about a bigamist soon-to-be-ex-husband on a first date!) and informing my date that I was planning on moving to Seattle in a few months.  I let myself be attracted, but I kept my heart in reserve, hiding my vulnerabilities and projecting an aura of self-sufficiency.  I didn’t make it easy to get to know me and I was happy that way.

Until I met this guy.

Who could resist this face?

I had gone out with his owner a couple times.  We had an attraction, but I had (foolishly) chosen to focus on another guy over him.  We kept in touch over the next few weeks,  and when he rescued the world’s most adorable pit bull puppy, he sent me a picture of Tiger via email.  I didn’t think I could fall in love with a dog again after the pain of losing mine.  I was wrong.  That little guy (okay, maybe little isn’t quite the right word!) held nothing in reserve when we met.  He greeted me as though I was his long lost buddy.  He didn’t care what baggage I brought or that I was still learning to trust.  He fully accepted me as I was at that moment.  I didn’t have to protect myself or worry about getting hurt.  I didn’t have to consider if he was truthful or hiding ulterior motives.  All things that would go through my mind on a date.

Tiger wormed his way into my heart over the next few weeks.  I found myself softening, trust building both towards the dog and towards his daddy.  I’m not sure I would be where I am today without Tiger; he was my guide back into love.

A more “mature” Tiger

3 Tips to Recover From a Breaking Point

We all have our breaking points.  Some are minor collapses, brought on by the stressors of the day piling up while our monkey minds run around screeching.  Others are near-fatal collapses triggered by loss or change.  Although these breaking points differ in scale and recovery time, the tips below can help you begin to plaster the break and rebuild.

A big wave is breaking in Santa Cruz, Californ...

3 Tips to Recover From a Breaking Point.

I used to visualize my breaking points as the collapse of a rock face, permanently marring the cliff.  I am learning to view breaking points as the natural and expected result of the crest of the wave.  I will break under life pressures again and again, but like the water, I can regather and rebuild.

How do you recover from your breaking points?  Do you see them as rock or water?

You Make Me Happy

Emotions associated with happiness

You make me happy.  I used to say those words to my husband on a frequent basis.  At that time, if you had asked me what I meant by those four words, I would would have replied that I was saying that I loved him and that I was happy being with him.  I meant those words as a compliment, an endearment, an expression of love.

I don’t use those words anymore.

Let me be clear, I am very happy in my current relationship.  But he doesn’t make me happy; rather, I am happy with him.  Slight change in words, but a huge shift in meaning.

I began to realize that by telling him that he made me happy, I was putting all of the responsibility for my own well-being on his shoulders.  That is a huge burden to carry and one that was unfair to him.  I had given him the power to make me happy.  Which means he also had the power to make me unhappy.

If I had left that power in his hands, he would have packed up my happiness with the rest of his belongings when he walked out the door.  I snatched it back from him, determined to find a way to regain ownership of my well-being.

I now take responsibility for my own happiness.  I can choose how I respond and how I approach. I can choose to be happy with or happy in spite of.  That is my responsibility.

But, coffee still makes me happy:)

The Mental and Physical Benefits of Ten Types of Exercise

A Marine of the United States Marine Corps run...

We are all aware that exercise provides physical benefits, but we may not be as aware of the mental and emotional rewards that come with physical activity.  Here are ten popular types of exercise and the benefits you can expect to receive.

1) Zumba

Zumba is a Latin-dance based class that is fast-paced, fun, and accessible to all ages and fitness levels.

Physical Benefits: Zumba provides a cardiovascular workout as you are consistently moving for the hour long class.  Many classes also incorporate some lower body strengthening moves.

Mental Benefits: Zumba is fun.  I mean jump around like a little kid in your pajamas kind of fun.  Go ahead, I dare you; try to make it through an entire class without laughing.  Laughter and fun are enormously important elements of wellness.  Zumba will help you get your giggle on.

2) Yoga

Yoga focuses on moving the body into various poses and holding them for a period of time.  Yoga classes can vary greatly, from the most gentle and relaxing to Power 2 hot classes.

Physical Benefits: Yoga helps to lengthen and stretch our tight muscles like nothing else.  The more advanced flow classes also provide strengthening through holding more difficult poses.

Mental Benefits: Yoga teaches you how to soften and relax into discomfort.  It helps you to focus your mind and be in the present moment.  It help to calm anxiety and release anger.  Quite frankly, yoga makes you happy and makes you a nicer person to be around.

Yoga Class at a Gym

3) Kettlebells

Kettlebells were originally used as training tools in Russia, but luckily they made it across the border.  They are simply heavy weights with handles that you move around in prescribed patterns.

Physical Benefits: Kettlebells offer cardiovascular and strength training in one.  They are especially excellent for training the core, glutes, and hamstrings along with developing muscular endurance.

Emotional Benefits: Kettlebell training requires that everything flows from one move to the next.  This helps the mind to flow as well, opening the dams between segments of your mind.  If your thoughts are feeling stuck, try picking up a kettlebell.  I bet your thoughts will be flowing like a river before you know it.

4) High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT)

HIIT can take many forms (I have talked before about Tabata training – ouch!), but it is essentially intervals of very intense exercise followed by intervals of rest.

Physical Benefits: HIIT is excellent for shredding fat in a short period of time.  It also helps to build your anaerobic capacity, which it useful whenever you need a quick burst of energy.

Mental Benefits:  HIIT teaches you to breathe.  Really breathe.  Most of us walk around each day with our lungs only partly used.  Try running sprints  without ever taking a complete, full breath.  It won’t happen.  When you completely fill and empty your lungs, you release tension that you are holding in your mind.

5) Weight Lifting

Weight lifting can take many forms, but it is essentially contracting the muscles against some form of resistance.

Physical Benefits: Lifting weights helps to build muscle tissue which gives the body a pleasing shape, helps to maintain mobility, and helps to burn fat.  Sounds like a win-win-win to me.

Mental Benefits:  Weight lifting helps you to feel strong.  Empowered.  You may not be able to control everything in your life, but you can sure show that dumbbell who’s boss!

6) Walking

Right foot, left foot.  Repeat.

Physical Benefits:  Walking is an accessible exercise that, depending upon its intensity, can provide cardiovascular training and lower body conditioning.  It is an easy, low impact way to help stave off weight gain.

Mental Benefits:  Walking tells your brain that you’re making progress.  There are times in life when we begin to feel overwhelmed with the daily grind.  Go for walk and you’ll begin to see the place of today in the bigger picture.

7) Running

See “walking,” only faster.

Physical Benefits: Running burns a lot of calories in a short time frame due to its intensity.  It also gives you an excuse to wear itty-bitty shorts in public.

Mental Benefits: When you run, you have to find the rhythm between the body and the breath.  This rhythm extends to the mind as it trains you to breathe deeper and slower when feeling bogged down or facing a challenging hill.

8) Races

There are many types of races: 5K or 10K, running or biking, triathlon or adventure, they all put you in a competition against others or yourself.

Physical Benefits:  Signing up for a race encourages you to train consistently, leading to improved benefits over periodic exercise.

Mental Benefits:  I recommend signing up for a race that takes you just to the edge of your ability when you are facing a challenge in your life.  Whereas most of life’s challenges are messy and may take years to resolve, a race is over in a matter of minutes or hours, yet it gives you the critical feeling of victory over a challenge.  There is nothing so sweet as crossing that finish line.

9) Crossfit

Crossfit has taken the world by storm.  It is a group exercise class that consists of a Workout of the Day (WOD) that incorporates strength and cardiovascular moves.

Physical Benefits: Crossfit certainly lives up to its name.  If you can stick with it, it will make you leaner, fitter, and stronger.

Mental Benefits: Perhaps the best part of Crossfit is the community.  Everyone is so supportive of everyone else.  Be prepared for applause and “atta boys” or “girls” when you complete that first pull-up.  If you need to know that others have you back, try visiting a Crossfit gym.

10) Bootcamp

Bootcamp classes are usually held outside and combine plyometric moves along with body weight exercises and a variety of drills.

Physical Benefits: You will be sore all over.  These classes don’t leave a muscle untouched or a sweat gland un-emptied.

Mental Benefits: Bootcamp teaches you to push through those “I can’ts” that our minds love to throw up in defense of effort.  It gives you the mental discipline to work through your problems and see them to the end.

For the most physical and mental benefit, choose more than one type of exercise.  By cross training, you will learn to utilize and synergize your entire boy and mind.

July 2007 CrossFit Trainer certification, Sant...