Attitude

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I’m often complemented on my positive attitude about everything that happened to me.

It hasn’t always been that way.

I was angry. Furious that the person I trusted most in this world betrayed me in the most horrific ways, causing me to lose everything I held sacred. I cursed him. I dreamed violent dreams. I wanted to cause him pain. I lived in a perpetual state of fury with all flames directed at him.

I was bitter. Resentful that I made choices about my schooling and career based on him and then he abandoned me. I focused on the unfairness of the sacrifices I had made for the marriage and for him that he spit upon with his actions.

I was jealous. Envious of others whose spouses stayed faithful or at least stayed around long enough to talk. I compared my situation to others’ and bemoaned my particular tale.

I was ashamed. Embarrassed that his deceptions went on for years and I did not see them.  I questioned myself endlessly and doubted myself constantly.

I was victimized. I saw myself as hapless prey caught in his crosshairs. I focused on what was done to me, keeping myself at the center of his choices.

My attitude couldn’t do anything to change the past. Being angry wouldn’t make him apologize. Being bitter wouldn’t open up new careers. Being jealous wouldn’t make my ex suddenly faithful and honest. Being ashamed wouldn’t make me pick up on the lies any earlier. And being a victim wouldn’t help me learn how to thrive.

I had no control over the past. No way to change what happened. But I could change how I responded to it.

So, slowly, ever so slowly, I did.

I let go of the negativity that was still holding me hostage. It was not an easy road. It took hundreds of miles running on the trails and hundreds of hours on the yoga mat. It took writing a book and writing a blog. It took therapy and friends. It took a new dog and a new love. And, most importantly, it took time.

The truth is that I still feel those negative emotions towards him and what happened. Some days more than others. The difference is that now I don’t allow them to move in. They visit and go on, leaving room for laughter again.

Look at all that teenage attitude!
Look at all that teenage attitude!

It never ceases to amaze me how much of a difference attitude can make. I recently found myself complaining about my Sunday chore of cooking for the week. I was feeling bogged down and tired of the weekly planning, shopping and cooking that takes up a sizable portion of my weekend. I realized that I was viewing this as part of my work week; I was allowing it to steal several hours of my weekend. Then, I decided that was not okay.

I can’t change my need to cook. It is a necessity for my health, my job schedule and my budget.

So I changed my attitude. For the last few weeks, I have approached my weekly cooking task as though I was making preparations for a dinner party. It makes menu planning more interesting and keeps me in a good place while shopping. As for the cooking? Well, that’s now the best part. I first take some time to prepare some veggies, cracker and hummus and arrange them on a plate where I can nibble while I work. Then, I crank up the tunes – they vary according to the mood of the day and can run from bagpipes to death metal. Finally, I pour a glass of Cabernet to sip on while I chop up the endless pile of veggies.

Sunday cooking has gone from a chore to something I actually look forward to.

And all because I changed my attitude.

On the Menu: Pot of Veggies at the End of the Rainbow

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It’s been quite some time since I’ve done one of these posts. This whole fall has been a whirlwind of activity between The Jeff Probst Show and other spin-offs from the book, activities with friends, and marathon training. This weekend has been a chance to catch my breath before the next round of craziness begins next weekend.

It’s funny – I never used to cook much. But now that I’m used to it, I’ve missed the extended time in the kitchen on Sunday trying out new (or at least not tried and true) recipes. I’ve been cooking my lunches the last several weeks (I have to, or I don’t eat) but I have been relying on quick and simple dishes. Today I passed on my usual yoga class to give myself the gift of time in the kitchen.

My sweet potato, oat, and protein powder concoction that fueled my marathon.

I am still on my sweet potato ban after marathon training. Don’t get me wrong, those little suckers are a perfect (and cheap!) carb source for gluten free endurance athletes but they do get old after a couple months of daily consumption. Besides, I’m ready to go back to my normal, lower carb diet. I definitely feel stronger and leaner when I limit the carbs a bit more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I started off early this morning prepping for one of my favorite winter soups: Eat the Rainbow Black Bean Soup from Fat Free Vegan. This soup literally swallows veggies. It is so filling and hearty despite being low calorie.

These are just some of the veggies that go into this soup. When I kept chopping, I swear my slow cooker looked at me incredulously.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I decided to add some tofu this time to up the protein factor a bit more.

I’m hoping the vegetable content of this soup alone will scare off any rhinovirus that happen to be lurking around. I like to pretend that the common cold is uncommonly afraid of spinach.

The soup about halfway through its five hours in the slow cooker…yum!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since I had the time this weekend, I ventured to Trader Joe’s – one of my favorite places to get groceries that unfortunately is an extra 20 minutes out of my way. I squealed in delight when I saw that they had in their seasonal shipment of brussels sprouts on the stalk. Yes, I got some strange looks. They are more labor intensive to prepare when they are sold this way but they are much cheaper and way cooler.

I just love the alien look of sprouts on the stalk!

I decided to keep it simple. After de-stalking (reminds me of defrocking and makes me giggle!) the little cabbages, I cut them in half and tossed them with balsamic, olive oil, garlic powder, and salt and pepper. I then roasted them at 400 degrees for just over 20 minutes until the leaves were perfectly crispy-black.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have to admit. I have a strange addiction to these things. As I was attempting to pack them into five containers for my lunch, I kept sneaking bites. I ended up eating almost 1/2 pound of sprouts. Between those and my usual kale and spinach breakfast smoothie, I had more cruciferous veggies before 10:00 a.m. than most people probably eat in a week!

Here’s my addiction – roasted brussels sprouts. I love the sweet and salty crunch of the blackened leaves.

What’s for dessert, you ask? I usually just have an apple or some (gack!) sweet potato, but I decided to make something a bit more special this week. I like to that especially around the holidays as it keeps me from feeling deprived around all of the sweets that invade the school.

I decided to make the Grain-Free Carrot Cake from Ask Georgie. It. Is. Amazing. Stupendous. Unbelievable. Not only will I not feel deprived this week, but I bet others will be envious of my sweets!

Gluten and grain free carrot cake. Nuff said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The craziness of the last few weeks has been wonderful and exciting but it feels amazing to be home and enjoying the restorative simplicity of preparing food that nourishes my body.

And now for some not-so-healthy veggie nachos and some NFL. Go Ravens and Falcons! Let those birds fly:)

Done Bun Can’t Be Undone

Posted on by stilllearning2b
Hot Buns - please pre-order
(Photo credit: ecstaticist)

I have always been a huge fan of Stephen King. He has a magical way of delving into the wonderment and wisdom inherent in the ten-year-old’s mind which paints a world we all remember yet no longer are privy to as adults. He carries this slightly off perspective through his adult characters as well, showing us a perspective we all know yet seem to forget.

His book Insomnia was published my junior year of high school, during that grey period where you simultaneously straddle the worlds of childhood and adulthood. One line from that book stayed in my mind for the entire year, most likely due to the sing-songy quality with which my internal voice read it.

Done bun can’t be undone.

I never really thought what that line meant until just recently. Literally, once the bread is baked, there is no going back to the dough.

How much effort do we waste in our lives trying to undo done buns? How often do we lament “the way things were” and we try to navigate back to them? How much time do we spend replaying past decisions and mentally taking new paths?

I find it interesting that the book was released the same year I began dating my now ex-husband. Those fateful words were spooling through my head during our courtship. Done bun can’t be undone.

Rather than fight against the past, I have learned to accept it. Would I do it over again the same way? It doesn’t matter. I don’t have that option. Instead, I try to take the past as a starting point.

A done bun can’t be undone, but it can be enjoyed with a pat of butter and a hot mug of tea.

On the Menu: Low Carb Pasta and Baked Zucchini Fries

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I made a mistake last week.  We are in the midst of testing season at school which means the daily schedule is put in blender and spit back out.  As a result, I ended up with 3 days last week with no lunch period, meaning I had to attempt to eat (two hours past my normal lunch time) while speed-teaching 22 minute classes.  The mistake?  I packed a high-fiber, voluminous lunch with lots of beans, greens, and cauliflower that my body didn’t like ingesting rapidly and my palate did not enjoy cold.

I’m learning.  We have another round of testing this week and I am packing a lower-fiber spread that will be fine if I do not have access to the microwave.  My stomach is breathing a sigh of relief.

Black Bean Pasta With Raw Marinara

As a gluten-free gal, I had pretty much given up on ever being able to eat pasta again that wasn’t loaded with simple carbs and entirely devoid of protein.  Then I found this hiding on the bottom shelf in a local health food store.  I brought it home, a bit dubious that the texture and flavor would be as good as the nutritional profile (17 g carbs and 20 g protein!!!).  I mixed up a quick pesto sauce in my food processor, cooked the pasta, and tossed it together.  It. Was. Amazing.  It felt right in the mouth, tasted great, and filled me up like only protein can.

A few days later, I went back to the store to buy more of the mung bean fettuccine and to pick up the black bean spaghetti.  The shelves were empty:(  Panicked (I NEEDED this stuff now), I visited my Amazon site. Placed an order.  Several days later, I received an email that they were sold out.  Not one to give up easily, I found another site that carries the pastas.  I received my first order of the black bean spaghetti last week and I am excited to try it in this week’s recipe.

I needed a sauce that would be good cold and I wanted something different than the pesto I used earlier.  I decided to try the marinara recipe from here, but I added onion, garlic, and mushrooms.  What?  I said I had to be able to eat quickly; I never said anything about my breath having to smell nice:)  I topped the spaghetti with a vegan “cheese” made of walnuts and nutritional yeast for a little extra yum and a little extra protein.

Pasta.  $6  Tomatoes.  $3  The look of utter horror on my students’ faces when they see me eating black pasta with red sauce.  Priceless.

Baked Zucchini Fries

This is another recipe from Lean, Luscious, and Meatless, my favorite book from childhood that has disappeared from print.

4 zucchini, end cut off and sliced longwise into 1/8″ slices

dip these into a mixture of flax seed (the cookbook uses wheatgerm, but that whole gluten thing gets in the way), garlic powder, paprika, and oregano

Arrange cut side up on a cookie sheet and bake at 450° for 15 minutes.  Extra yummy served with tomato sauce.

 

A bonus of this week’s meal?  It’s quick to prepare, leaving me with plenty of time to read Fifty Shades of Grey, a reading assignment from a coworker.

I’ll top this off with some strawberries and a protein shake that can be quickly downed discretely.  Here’s to a happier tummy and the last week of testing!

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On the Menu: Lemon Pepper Pasta and Verdant Sides

Posted on by stilllearning2b

This meal is a true vitamin C bonanza.  I think it would offer one protection against scurvy for at least a year or two.  In fact, this is the meal Blackbeard’s mum should have made for him before he set off to pillage the seven seas.

Lemon Pepper Pasta

This comes from my first vegetarian cookbook, Lean and Luscious, and Meatless (out of print now, unfortunately).  When I first started using this cookbook in high school, I had fallen hard for the low fat, high carb craze.  It is funny to see my notes on the pages where I used only nonfat dairy products and shunned even the smallest amount of olive oil, while eating huge quantities of breads and pastas.  Fast forward to today, and I rarely eat bread or pasta, mainly because the gluten-free varieties are not very good and full of simple carbs.

This recipe is super easy.  I now use spaghetti squash for the pasta, but any sort of spaghetti will do. The amounts are variable; I never bother to measure for this one.

2-3 cups spaghetti of choice, cooked

2 tsp olive oil

3-4 red, yellow, and orange bell peppers, cut into strips

1-2 tbsp grated lemon peel

1/4 tsp pepper

1 cup skim milk

1-2 cups reduced fat sharp cheddar, shredded

Saute peppers in oil for 5 min over medium-high heat.  Add lemon and pepper and stir. Reduce heat, add milk, cheese, and pasta and stir until cheese is melted and ingredients are blended.

Roasted Asparagus with Mustard Cream

Sounds oh-la-la, doesn’t it?  It’s actually really easy and really good.  This one came from my newest cookbook, 125 Gluten-Free Vegetarian Recipes.  I made one small adjustment, subbing nonfat Greek yogurt for the sour cream.

Steamed Broccoli

Uhh…broccoli.  Steamed.  Added a little pepper and leftover lemon juice.  ‘Nuff said.

And for dessert…

Citrus, of course!

I am now set to sail the world with only a bit of hardtack to tide me over.  Or not, actually.