Sleeping With the Anemone

Posted on by stilllearning2b

 

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I love teaching on a big-picture basis. I like nothing more than seeing the lightbulbs as students master a new concept. I love the challenge of devising new ways to present complicated information. I thrive on the messages from former students that they now understand and enjoy math. I enjoy “adopting” 120 new personalities every year and watching them grow and change throughout the year. Once they have been in my classroom, they will always be one of “my kids,” even after they have kids of their own (yes, I have been teaching that long!).

I love teaching on a big-picture basis, but I can have a tendency to get bogged down in the details of low pay, never-ending meetings and ever-changing legislation. This is never more true than in the spring, as we gear up for the standardized testing season. My eyes and brain blur as I analyze data and compile reports. My energy wans just as the students become ever more excited for spring break and the elusive call of summer vacation. By March, students and teachers can grow cranky with each other, much like a family at the end of a long road trip. Are we there yet?

Sometimes I can forget the big picture.

And, sometimes, a magical moment brings it all into focus again. This weekend was filled with those moments.

I chaperoned an overnight field trip with 200 7th graders to the Georgia Aquarium, billed as the world’s largest.

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The luggage of 200 teenagers!

We arrived at the aquarium Friday afternoon, just as the last of the general public was making their way to the exits. The aquarium atrium, which I had never seen without shoulder to shoulder crowds, stood empty and quiet.

Kinda feel like Night at the Museum! Luckily, all the life was safely behind glass:)
Kinda feel like Night at the Museum! Luckily, all the life was safely behind glass:)

As we were led by our guides on a behind the scenes tour, I watched the students’ faces. Seeing their excitement and curiosity was infectious.

The "wave maker" from the top of one of the tanks
The “wave maker” from the top of one of the tanks
The world's largest tank from above. You can see one of the whale sharks at the front of the picture.
The world’s largest tank from above. You can see one of the whale sharks at the front of the picture.
I love jellyfish, but only from a safe distance!
I love jellyfish, but only from a safe distance!

By 11:00 (waaay past my bedtime1), the girls and female chaperones made our way to the large tank viewing area to bed down for the night.

This was the view from my sleeping bag.
This was the view from my sleeping bag.

I found myself sleeping much like I imagine new parents do – listening for trouble and staying constantly on alert. Every time I do an overnight trip with students, I have much more respect for the huge responsibility carried by parents.

This trip, with its learning and exploration unencumbered by paperwork and testing, reminded me of the big picture. I teach because I love the enthusiasm and inquisitiveness that fuels learning. I teach because I want every child to reach their potential. I teach because I don’t want a lack of knowledge to ever hold someone back from their dreams. I teach to share my passions with the hope that my students will pass it on.

And sleeping with the fishes is pretty cool too:)

I'm used to sleeping with a pit bull, so a whale shark isn't too strange!
I’m used to sleeping with a pit bull, so a whale shark isn’t too strange!

Work is Like a Gas

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Chemistry 1965

Work is like a gas.

It expands to fill its allotted space.

As a teacher, I have fixed hours: 8:30-4:30 M-F. That time is entirely consumed with meetings, conferences, tutoring and, let’s not forget, instruction. That means that I have to find time outside of that window to prepare lessons, write materials and grade papers.

In my old life, I let that work expand unbounded into all areas of my life. I showed up at work at 7:00 when the custodians were the only other life in the building.  I worked in the evenings, grading papers while watching a movie with my husband. Half of my Saturday would be spent in front of the computer, planning lessons and writing materials. Even vacations weren’t sacred – I would frequently have a bag of work by my feet as we drove off to some destination.

During the divorce, I realized that I needed to set boundaries. I still came into school early, but I refused to take work home. I liked that morning time – it was bound by the bell that started the day. Much to my surprise, I found that I could still get done much of what I needed to. The lessons weren’t as fleshed out, but my years of experience had long since made that unneccessary. The activities weren’t as neat and typo-free, but it turns out that 8th graders don’t really care (or even notice) and a type doesn’t limit learning. Occasionally, I felt rushed or unprepared when something came up unexpectedly at the last moment. But that happened when I worked all of the time, too.

Last year, when I started my 28 day mediation challenge, I pushed my start time back to 7:30 so that I a few precious moments in the morning where I could meditate without having to get up at an even more ridiculous time. It was heaven. I arrived at work rested and calm. The centered mind more than made up for the missing half hour.

This year, I told myself that I would start the year by going in at 7:00 to allow time for the added workload of the beginning of the school year. I promised myself that I would move that back to 7:30 by the end of the 1st quarter.

It’s now the 3rd quarter and I’ve only walked through the doors after 7:00 a handful of times. In fact, it’s been closer to 6:45 on most mornings.

What went wrong? Why am I allowing this time? Do I really need it or am I just afraid that I will fall behind if I do not allow that extra half hour? I’ve been feeling unbalanced with work this year – it’s taking more energy and causing more stress than I would like.

What would happen if I narrow its container? Bound it with walls that restrict its flow? Would that found time restore balance?

I intend to find out.

Beginning today.

Time Travel

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I went to a friend and former coworker’s retirement celebration today (the event that I gave up the mysterious Heart Beans for). It was a beautiful medley of teachers I have worked with over the last ten years. My retiring friend looked radiant, her face creaseless and worry-free and her body relaxed. It was wonderful to be able to share in recognizing this exciting transition with her.

みちゆき — time travel
みちゆき — time travel (Photo credit: nodoca)

It was interesting for me in other ways as well. Some of the teachers that were present keep up with me via Facebook or my blog (hi, guys!) even though we see each other infrequently due to the distance and Atlanta traffic. Others were part of my support system when my tsunami divorce hit three years ago, right before my last year at that school but we have not really kept in touch. Others still have been out of my life since before the disasster and had no idea of the events of the past few years.

It reminded me of the children in my life that I see periodically. Their parents hardly notice the changes over the months or years but to me, the changes are shocking. My mind attempts to connect the 6 month old with the taking toddler or the 6’1″ pseudo-man with the 4’8″ prepubescent 8th grader I taught.

I imagine it felt like that to some of the teachers I saw tonight. Several of them, upon hearing the news of my divorce, told me about times they witnessed my husband and I together. How good we looked as a couple. How in love we appeared to be. How much it seemed like he adored me. I never know how to respond to this. It is a lifetime ago to me. I know, yet I don’t really remember.

The ones who were my support group were thrilled to see me happy and moving on. They couldn’t get over the change in my body language and the lack of stress on my face as they grew accustomed to the Lisa who was facing the end of a life and was not sure how she was going to create another. They were also trying to connect the old Lisa with the new. Unlike them, I have lived every day, faced every step forward as well those going backward. Even then, I sometimes have trouble connecting the dots from 2009 until today.

As for those I stay in touch with, it was wonderful to exchange hugs with those I largely “see” through Facebook.  I felt immediately at home again.

The teachers at that school are truly a family. And, like a family, we always look out for each other even when we only get glimpses through the years.

 

 

Dating After Divorce: Lessons From the Classroom

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Here’s my latest on Huffington Post:)
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-arends/fearless-dating-101_b_1641291.html

Mindfulness is a Highlighter

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Do you turn your gaze when you receive a shot?  Dream of a tropical island while you are on the dentist’s chair?  Imagine walking on the beach while you are crushed into the seats in coach for a cross-country flight?  Our minds are so good at these little disconnections, these travels away from the current discomfort.  The problem is that, as with anything we repeatedly do, that mental disconnection can become a habit.

Deception Pass and Fidalgo Island
Deception Pass and Fidalgo Island (Photo credit: WorldIslandInfo.com)

When I take an honest look back at my life, I can see that I have, at times, become too dependent upon my mind’s ability to wander.  I had two years of teaching where I was completely miserable due to the circumstances at the school.  In order to cope, I distracted myself as much as possible.  I was not present in that classroom at all, although I still made connections with the kids and the test scores showed that they mastered the matieral.  I knew that I was unhappy with work, but when I realized how dependent I had become on being  disconnected, I knew that I had to make a change.  A drastic one.

Mindfulness is a highlighter.  Examine your own life.  When do you tend to engage in mental escape?  That is a clue that something about that environment, situation, or relationship may need to change because it is causing you pain.  Or, perhaps, you need to be honest with yourself about the discomfort and change your approach to it.  Regardless, mentally running away from any lasting situation will not be of benefit.  Bring your focus to the present and connect with what is causing you discomfort. As with studying a textbook, the highlighted areas are the ones that need more attention.