We all start out believing that we are the center of the world.
And then as we grow, our sense of our place in the world shifts.
Until we realize that we are not the center of the world. but a part of the world.
With a responsibility to step and speak with kindness and care.
Except some people never develop the understanding that they are a part of the world.
They persist in their belief that they are the sun and the rest of us are mere satellites.
And rather than stepping with kindness and care, they stomp on boundaries and crush others beneath their unfeeling feet.
And rather than speaking with kindness and care, they use words as weapons to harm and tools to manipulate.
They are the entitled ones. The self-crowned kings and queens of our realm.
Many were raised to be empowered, showered with excess and unearned praise by parents afraid of setting and maintaining boundaries. They held dominance in their families and assumed that their sway extended outside the familial home. They never learned how to hear a “no” or contend with a limit. They asked and they received.
Parents stepped in and cushioned consequences, so cause and effect was never mastered. They never received education in empathy, so they held on to a young child’s lack of understanding. And perhaps worst of all, these infant monarchs learned how to shuffle blame and avoid responsibility.
Some of the entitled ones earned their badge with an assist from genetics, given a biological limit to their abilities to empathize with and understand others.
In school, these entitled children don the label of “bully” as they use power, fear and manipulation to control the other students. In their world, the ends justify any means necessary and they are quite adept at pulling out every mean possible.
As they grow into adults, the entitled ones often find themselves successful. After all, when you’re ruthless on the ladder to success, you can leave quite a pile of bodies behind you. They can be charismatic, hiding their entitlement behind charm and practiced words. They’re just putting on a show for the benefit of their lackeys while they take what they believe they deserve.
And some of us fall for this charade. After all, it can certainly be a great show.
But these are the people that will pledge fidelity while actively pursuing another. They will set a household budget, yet feel entitled to break it. They will tell you what you want to hear while doing what they want to do.
The only reason needed for any action is,”I felt like it.”
But at some point, the curtains part.
And we see the special effects for what they are.
And we become aware of the strings tied around our own wrists.
Making us an unwilling participant in the entitled one’s play.
And for those of us that understand that we are all in this together, the realization that we were perceived as nothing but minions and pawns is a painful one.
But better to endure the pain of having the strings cut.
Than to never see them at all.
Be stronger than your pain.
Build your boundaries with your entitled one and enforce them with everything you have.
Let them be the center of their world.
But refuse to let them be the center of yours.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 