I was lucky. I never spent time in a decaying marriage. The lies that destroyed the relationship protected me for its duration, keeping me cloaked in relative comfort. I was lucky. I never had to wrestle with the question of should I stay or should I leave? That decision was made for me. I was … Continue reading I Was Lucky
When I checked my Twitter feed the other day, I saw that something called the "Barkley Marathon" was trending. I was instantly curious. After all, I'd never heard of this particular run (even though I'm a runner) and there didn't seem to be any terrorist activity associated with the race (thank goodness). So why was … Continue reading Five Qualities You Gain From Struggle
When people contact me early in their divorce experience, the edges still rough and the emotions raw, I often find myself saying, "It's early still. Give it some time." It's counsel I hate to give because it suggests that the pain has to be endured before it can be erased. Yet it's also truth; there … Continue reading Does Time Heal All Wounds?
"Why am I still hurting so badly?" the email implores of me, the writer speaking of her ten-year-old divorce. As I read her message that details her divorce and her continued and prolonged sadness, I found myself thinking about how the modern western world handles death. Before the rise of the modern medical and funeral … Continue reading The Mistake You May Be Making With Your Divorce Pain
Pay special attention to that moment when pain transforms into intense feeling. It's easy to miss. We become so accustomed, so habituated, to pain that we often begin to assume that we're still in pain. Wincing before the pain is felt. Labeling the sensation without any analysis of the feeling. Continuing to favor the sore … Continue reading A Moment Worth Noting