At Some Point, It’s No Longer About the Nail

When is it no longer about what hurt you?   In the beginning, I made it all about him. What he did. Why he did it. How he did it. Where he was. Who he was.   It was an escape of a sort. A distraction. If I stayed focused on him, I didn’t have toContinue reading “At Some Point, It’s No Longer About the Nail”

After the Affair: When Does the Pain End?

We think of it like a finish line. Or a wall. Some clearly defined boundary, delineating pain from not-pain. After all, that’s how this all started. You had that moment before the discovery of the affair when everything was okay and the world was as it seemed. Then, you had that awful moment, that imageContinue reading “After the Affair: When Does the Pain End?”

Four Things You DON’T Need to Move On After Divorce

We often get in our own way after divorce, desperately wanting a way out from the pain while at the same time telling ourselves stories that only serve to hold us in the flames. I convinced myself myself that I needed everything from a jail sentence for him to an apology for me, all whileContinue reading “Four Things You DON’T Need to Move On After Divorce”

The Mistake You May Be Making With Your Divorce Pain

“Why am I still hurting so badly?” the email implores of me, the writer speaking of her ten-year-old divorce. As I read her message that details her divorce and her continued and prolonged sadness, I found myself thinking about how the modern western world handles death. Before the rise of the modern medical and funeralContinue reading “The Mistake You May Be Making With Your Divorce Pain”