Thoughts
The Accounting of Loss
I’m a numbers girl. I like to quantify things. I enjoy manipulating variables until I arrive at the security of the right answer. So, when I went to play a favorite album on my iTunes yesterday and my ex’s email popped up with a prompt for an unknown password (his computer was the main one and so all iTunes purchases and downloads were routed through his machine), I wanted to pick up a red pen and add “iTunes library” to the mental ledger that catalogued all of the losses from the divorce. Its entry would reflect the dollar value of replacing all of the shared library that now only accessible by him. It would not be a lonely entry; it would join hundreds of other losses, both tangible and intangible, that I incurred with that initial text.
Fuming, I settled on another album, pressed play, and looked up to resume work on formatting the book (note to self – never, and I mean never, take a job that includes editing or formatting!). My eye caught a note that I have posted above my computer:
Gratitude
-great relationship
-awesome family & friends
-good job and promising additional career
-health and love of working out
-awesome pets
-roof over my head in a city I love
-progress beyond imagined
-learning to let go of fear
-being able to help others heal
-he didn’t take my life
Obviously, that list would be recorded in black in the assets column of my mental ledger. But what dollar amount would I assign to each item? How could I even begin to quantify those things that are so dear? I can’t. There are some things that go far beyond an analytical list.
I think it’s time to retire the ledger and to become lax in my accounting, at least that done in the red. I think I’ll choose to count my blessings rather than enumerate my losses.
Moving On
No Kindle? No Problem.
So, you don’t have a Kindle but you want to read my book Lessons From the End of a Marriage? No Problem!
You can download a free app from Amazon to read a Kindle book on your pc or Mac.
You can read it on your smartphone by downloading a reading app as well.
Here is the link for the book on Amazon once you have your app set up.
And now for you Nookies, the book is also available on Barnes and Noble.
I will be releasing a print version but it still be a little while… Why wait?
Once you have read the book, please review it on Amazon or B&N and share the link with your friend! Thanks:)
The Long Con
One of the aspects that had been the most difficult for me to deal with is the realization that I was fooled by my husband. Conned. I felt (and still feel) like a fool. In my latest for Huffington Post, I describe some of the lengths my ex went to as he crafted and covered his other life.
If my husband had been Pinocchio, his nose would have been a giant redwood. While we were married, I thought he was a real boy. Once he disappeared, I learned otherwise. Read more here.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 