Divorce is weird. Before separate homes are obtained, your spouse is someone you (probably) see more days than not, someone you (most likely) speak to at least once in a 24-hour period and someone who (ostensibly) knows you better than anyone else. And then you split. And the person who was your everything becomes a … Continue reading Ten Things We Do For a Sense of Control During Divorce
Part of what makes divorce so difficult is that so much of what is happening around you - and to you - is completely out of your control. It's scary. It's crazy-making. It's infuriating. And it also doesn't have to be so bad. Learn how you can control your divorce.
For a long time (okay, even now), when my now-husband would vocalize his opinion about something that he thought would be good for me, I recoiled. It felt almost invasive. Smothering. Controlling. Not because of what he was saying, but because of what I have been through. My now-husband is direct, expressing his thoughts and … Continue reading 7 Subtle Signs You Have a Backseat Driver in Your Life
I was embarrassed to wear shorts. The insides of my thighs were covered with tiny half-moon cuts and welts, formed by my own finger nails digging into my tender flesh. It hurt. But strangely enough, I did it in an attempt to not feel pain. It was my first conscious bid for control. Every month, … Continue reading How to Rein In Your Need For Control
Early April of 2010 was a strange time for me. My divorce had been finalized a few weeks before, I had given notice at my current school that I would not be returning the following year, I had just started falling for Brock and I was planning on moving to Seattle in June. I should … Continue reading Recalculating