http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-arends/divorce-the-spark-that-ig_b_1564958.html?ref=divorce
Sweat and Tears
The tears were close to the surface this morning.
Tears of frustration born from his decisions nickel and diming away my future.
Tears of anger at myself for falling for his swindle.
Tears of shame at how I am perceived as I act as the face of his mess
While he continues to run away.
I welcomed the hot breathe of the yoga studio today,
Seeking purification and strength within its walls.
I set my intention, looking for acceptance.
I was told to “let it go,”
But I held on for dear life.
As I pressed into my first down dog,the hot tears formed furrows
In the beads of sweat rolling down my face.
I struggled to keep my breath as the sobs stole the rhythm from my vinyasa,
The body trying to share its wisdom with the mind.
“Feel deeper,” echoed the instructor’s voice as we were bent over in a forward fold,
The tap-tap-tap of sweat hitting the floor telling the tales of the heat.
“You will not be given more than you can bear.”
My hips felt like they were being wrenched apart,
Following in the footsteps of my heart.
“Let it go.”
I breathed into the pain, trying to soften.
“Don’t let the difficulty opening the hips translate to tension in the neck;”
“Don’t let something that is challenging destroy something which is working beautifully.”
Folding into child’s pose, I took a moment and let that soak in.
My current struggle is temporary, my gratitude is not.
“Let it go”
I walked out of the studio, the pouring summer rains,
Washing the sweat and tears from my enlightened body.
Ready to sever the final ugly tie to the past,
Trusting that the price will not be too much to bear.
I am ready
to let it go.
;
;
Related articles
- Tears look like sweat: yoga for grief (justherejustnow.wordpress.com)
- Breathing In Rhythm: The Relationship Between Yoga & Music. ~ Rich Mangicaro (elephantjournal.com)
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Some Days Are Harder Than Others
I’m tempted to post a scathing diatribe about my ex, complete with name, SSN, and mugshot. But fueling that anger won’t help me move forward and won’t make it any easier to sever the ugly tie to the past that reared its ugly head this morning. So instead, I’m just trying to remember that the current discomfort is only temporary and that I have so much to be thankful for. I am not going to let his actions ruin my weekend, much less my life.
Happy Saturday:)
What is a Tsunami Divorce?
What is a Tsunami Divorce?
A tsunami divorce is one that completely blindsides a spouse, flattening him or her with a wave that was never spotted. A tsunami divorce is characterized by a normal marriage and a normal life up until the moment of total and utter destruction. The spouse that embodies the wave may simply disappear, abandoning their significant other with little to no communication or explanation. Infidelity, substance abuse, and mental illness can all play a role in a tsunami divorce. The causes of a tsunami divorce are rooted in the past and far away from the marriage. These contributing factors lay buried beneath the placid sea of the marriage until they burst forth in a great wall of destruction.
What Are the Effects of a Tsunami Divorce?
A tsunami divorce catches the other spouse completely off guard; it is a shock and awe campaign that leaves the survivor stunned and disoriented. One of the more damaging effects of a tsunami divorce is the survivor’s tendency to question him or herself about why no signs were spotted. Others in their lives may echo this sentiment. It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that the signs may have been minimal or only visible in the rearview mirror. The survivor is left devastated by the end of the marriage, confused as to why it occurred, feeling foolish for being “taken,” and angry at the tsunami spouse.
How Does a Tsunami Divorce Differ From Other Divorces?
Most divorces have a long, slow decline or a visible, yet rapidly building disintegration. This leads to a protracted period where one or both partners are wondering if they should stay or go. There are nights spent feeling alone while one remains in the marital home. There are difficult discussions and perhaps heated arguments. One or both partners may be holding on to hope that things will get better or that he/she will change his/her mind. This is a painful process that can slow or even stall healing. On the other hand, it also allows time for pre-grieving of the marriage and it gives both partners a voice in the divorce.
In contrast, a tsunami divorce is sudden. The marriage is often good up until the point it simply doesn’t exist anymore. There are no painful discussions. In fact, there are no discussions at all, which can leave the survivor feeling as though his/her voice has been stolen. There is no chance to pre-grieve, but the healing process can be easier as the abrupt amputation leaves no room for false hopes and no hesitation in the correct path to follow.
What Are Some of the Lessons That Can be Learned by the Survivors of a Tsunami Divorce?
1) Understand that the causes of the tsunami are found in the past and far away. Don’t spend too much time there.
2) Examine your own tsunami warning system. Did your fears and anxieties cause you to look away from some signs of the impending disaster?
3) Realize that, although your devastation was complete, the flattened earth is a clean slate.
4) Don’t be afraid to rebuild. Statistically speaking, tsunamis are pretty rare.
You can read the entire story of my tsunami divorce in my book Lessons From the End of a Marriage, available on Amazon.
In Honor of National Running Day: Why I Run
I run not to get away, but to get through.
I run not to become out of breath, but to gain breath.
I run to be social and I run for solitude.
I run to connect and I run to disconnect.
I run not to avoid work, but to inspire work.
I run to feel empowered and I run to remind myself that I am still weak.
I run to meditate and I run to ruminate.
I run not to lose weight, but to gain balance.
I run because it is what I do.
Because I run, I can be who I am.
And that is why I run.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 