Taming the Monkey Mind: Taking the Monkey for a Ride

Posted on by stilllearning2b

My monkey mind has been unruly of late. It’s been delivering excuses to refrain from sitting quietly faster than McDonald’s serves up burgers. And the excuses are about as palatable.

I could list those excuses, rationalize away my lack of mindfulness. But what’s the point? It’s just noise. Distraction.

I have two friends, sisters, who lost their mother many years ago. Ever since, they have chosen to make Mother’s Day a day of celebrating life. Their venue of choice? Amusement parks. I have been lucky enough to have been included in the tradition.

Every Mother’s Day finds us at the gates of some purveyor of adrenaline – laced fun. Sometimes we stay local, sometimes we travel. Regardless, the goal is the same – a day of riding as many coasters as possible while engaging in great food and better company.

Boy, did I ever need that yesterday.

The coasters forced my monkey into submission. I had no choice but to accept the experience. No choice but to let go. No choice but to be in the moment and enjoy the ride. With my eyes closed, there was no anticipation, just experience.

With each new coaster, I could feel the tension draining from my shoulders and clarity slowly replacing my muddied brain. My breath deepened and my posture straightened. I felt refreshed and relaxed.

For weeks now, meditation has been a chore, something I have to force myself to do. But this morning, my mat is calling to me, inviting. I want to sit. I want to breathe. I want to be.

Sometimes my monkey mind protests too much stillness and too much routine. He needs to feel the air rushing past his face and hear the joyful screams and laughter bursting forth, unrestrained. He needs to have his untamed side acknowledged and celebrated. He needs to let go with no thought of decorum or restraint (well, other than the ones that keep me from falling 200 feet to the ground!).

Sometimes the monkey just needs to ride. Maybe next year I’ll bring my meditation mat and some incense to the park:)

 

Taming the Monkey Mind: Plugging in the Monkey

Posted on by stilllearning2b

So, I know the whole idea of meditation is to unplug. To turn off the phone and put away the computer. I get it. I’m just not very good at it. Instead of fighting technology, I’ve learned to use it to help tame my monkey mind, especially on those days when it is acting particularly unruly. The following are my favorite ways to plug in and unwind:

Yogaglo (website)

I love this site. It has thousands of hours (I’m guessing – I haven’t counted:) ) of high quality yoga instruction that can be selected by difficulty, time and emphasis. They are also growing a database of meditation videos. I find that I gravitate towards these when I’m looking for something longer and more interesting than my standard fare. The meditations are all guided and are quite interesting and varied. (free 2 week trial and $18/month for unlimited use for meditation and yoga)

Meditation (app)

This is my go-to. There are many different soundtracks to choose from – everything from chants to nature sounds. There is also a mixer so you can customize your own personal blend. I love the quick timer that I can easily set for a variety of times, even if I don’t play any music (this especially happens when I can listen to real rain outside the window!). There are no guided meditations. It’s just simple, easy to use and high quality. ($.99)

Calm.com (website and app)

I read about this website and app in Lifehacker (which I also love but it doesn’t technically tame my monkey mind!) the other day. This is meditation for dummies. It comes in preslugged durations, starting at 5 minutes. Each one is guided and follows a similar script. As with the app above, you can select your background sounds, although they are not as varied. I have found that this app is excellent for the days when I am struggling to get my monkey mind to sit still long enough to slip on the headphones. (free or $4.99 for the full version)

iMoodJournal (app)

This nifty little app sounds a gong at predetermined times to remind you to quickly graph your mood and tag it with key words. It is designed to help you identify your triggers both for positive and negative moods. I also use the chime as a reminder to be mindful and present. I have it set to go off at two of the craziest times of my day – in the middle of homeroom where 30 kids and a handful of adults are competing  for my attention and at 5:00 pm when I get home. ($1.99)

My monkey mind is tired and is ready to shut down the computer and plug in the headphones. I just hope I can teach him to stop chewing on the cord:)

 

Taming the Monkey Mind: My Monkey’s Alive

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Monkey channel surfing

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel a little more alive than usual? Everything just seems a little bit clearer. The breath a little lighter? The focus just a little clearer?

I’ve had one of those days today. It’s just a normal Saturday for me – writing, laundry, meditation, gym and a run, and the weekly trip to the grocery store. Usually, I pass through these activities with barely a thought. I get each one done to move on to the next. By the way, that mentality is the absolute anthesis of meditation. There’s a reason I call myself stilllearning2b:)

Today has been just a little bit different. Perhaps it’s related to the clear, sunny skies after being blanketed by rain for the past week. Maybe I’m feeling the freedom of a Monday off work. Or, possibly my mood was lifted by finally replacing my old, partially working headphones with a new, working pair. It turns out that music sounds much better when you can hear it in both ears. The difference between the old headphones, which haven’t worked right for over a year, and the new was so strong that I actually startled when I pushed “play.” I had grown so accustomed to the static and one-sided sound that the clarity coming through felt bigger than life.

That’s kind of how my whole day has felt. I feel like I’ve fully experienced each action today, from the run along the river to selecting apples at the store. I haven’t felt pressure to get it done or to rush on to the next thing. I haven’t grumbled about having to do chores or run errands.

When I started my meditation challenge, I looked at meditation as a separate part of my day. A time set aside to be mindful. I would get it done and then move on to the next item on the list. I’m finally starting to incorporate mindfulness in each moment, which of course is the ultimate goal.

I need to remember this feeling. I need to remember that monkey mind is alive, not just in those moments when I turn inward and focus on the breath, but all of the time. I need to remember that when I am fully present in each moment, I can find joy even in the mundane. I need to remember that I choose to feel rushed and that I can also choose to feel at peace. I also need to remember not to wait so long to replace my broken headphones next time!

Other adventures of my monkey mind:

Taking the Monkey to the Gym

Shaving the Monkey

My Monkey’s Flinging Poo

Experimenting on the Monkey

Embracing the Monkey

Taming the Monkey Mind: Misbehavin’ Monkey

Posted on by stilllearning2b
Monkey riding a dog.
Monkey riding a dog. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My monkey has been misbehaving recently. It snuck up on me; I didn’t even realize it until he threw a tantrum last night. About unfolded clothes and unwashed dishes. Yeah, silly, I know. Talk to the monkey.

Once my monkey mind was talked down from his ledge, exercised, and soothed with incense and a good book, he was finally able to articulate to me what had him so frantic.

Things have been good.

Uhhmmm…what? Why freak out over that?

He explained that he is used to the status quo. Routine. The right amount of activity and rest. Social time and solitude. Mental work and physical effort. In other words, the monkey wants balance.

Makes sense.

We are all so aware of the imbalance and stress in our lives when things are rough. But we often are not as aware of the effect that good events can have on us. Just as when things go wrong, positive events in our lives (new relationships, new jobs or promotions, good news, working for and reaching goals) can also be difficult. It can catch us off guard because we are not anticipating its appearance. We may not find support from others because they simply see us riding high.

The problem is that we can get caught up in the ride and forget that our monkey mind has a bedtime and gets cranky when he’s overstimulated.

My monkey mind and I reached an arrangement. While things are crazy, I will make an effort to carve out even more time for meditation. I will again view runs as time for reflection or socialization instead of simply ticking away the miles until the marathon (3 more weeks!). I will focus more on the awesomeness of the weekends I have coming up rather than worrying about prepping and packing food (sometimes being a gluten free vegetarian just plain stinks!).

And if the dishes are bothering me, I will simply burn incense.

Taming the Monkey Mind – the beginning

 

Taming the Monkey Mind: My Monkey’s Flinging Poo

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Yesterday was a frustrating day at work.  We had to cancel a fun activity for the kids at the last minute due to weather.  Now, I am sure this will come as a complete and utter shock to you, but middle school students do not react well to change.  Especially change that requires they attend classes they thought they were going to miss.  They were upset and they were not afraid to share it.  All day long there was a negative undertone as the kids dealt with their frustrations by grumbling about how unfair it was and the teachers dealt with their frustrations by complaining about the kids.  It was a fruitless and circuitous endeavor that felt impossible to halt.  One thousand eighth graders are a formidable force.  Especially in May.

My monkey mind did not respond well to the negative energy.  Instead of relying upon his prior lessons in mindfulness and breath, he began to run around his cage, shaking the bars, and flinging poo at all who dared approach.  It wasn’t pretty.  I tried to meditate to soothe the agitated monkey mind before I took him out for a planned meeting with friends.  He just pointed and laughed at me.  Apparently this would require a tool of a different sort.

I attended the gathering and had a wonderful time. The monkey was distracted by all of the conversation and he behaved relatively well.  No poo was flung, much to the appreciation of all in attendance.

Although my monkey mind had been somewhat calmed, his agitation was still simmering just beneath the surface.  As mediation had proven itself unable to handle the task yesterday, I decided to try to pacify my monkey with sprints.  As I ran those 100 yards full-out, my monkey mind was silenced, holding on for dear life and unable to screech his disapproval.  They were mini-meditations in intervals.  All I could think about was that moment.  That breath.  That step.  The frustrations and negativity floated away like the dust kicked up from under my feet.  It was a great big cleansing breath for the soul.  And a reminder for my monkey mind that it’s not nice to throw poo.

Female Jogger on Coleman Avenue in Morro Bay, CA