In order to learn, we have to first be willing to learn. Be open and willing to new knowledge. A known lesson is food for the ego at the expense of the soul. Open your mind and approach each lesson with curiosity rather than assumptions. In this MindBodyGreen post, I share my experiences as a nascent yogi, approaching the mat with a beginner’s mind.
Divorce is exhausting. It requires huge amounts of physical, mental, and emotional endurance at a time when your reserves are depleted. Luckily, you do not possess a finite amount of energy. Rather, you ARE a renewable resource. In this article on MindBodyGreen, I suggest several strategies for recharging and building up your energy stores.
I woke up yesterday with a pulled hip flexor. It’s nothing serious. It’s completely functional and the pain can be ignored. But should I ignore it and push “play,” or give in to a pause?
My nature is to keep going, using ice and other modalities to ease the pain enough to continue on my planned runs, my marathon training schedule etched in concrete in my mind. Will this serve me in the long run? Or, by pushing too hard and too fast, will I prevent the necessary healing and end up off the trails longer than if I simply give in now?
Over the last three years, I have begun to be more comfortable pushing “pause.” For months after the divorce, I kept going through the pain, ignoring it while pressing forward. That only works for so long. I learned to be more sensitive to the nature of the pain and realize when I needed to give it time and space to present itself and heal and when I could ignore a small uprising and continue as if all was well because it soon would be.
Both buttons have their place in our lives. There are times when we need to keep going and push through the cobwebs blocking our path and there are other times when we need to stop and rest and allow ourselves to mend. Listen to your body. Your heart. It will tell you what it needs.
As for me, I plan to let my hip rest for one more day. There is time enough for play tomorrow. Pushing “pause” is not the same as pushing”stop.”
Somehow it seems appropriate to be here three years after my tsunami divorce.
Just days after the end, I picked up a pen and wrote voluntarily for the first time in my life. Days after that, I moved my journal to the computer and began to craft a book out of my life. I wrote consistently, even compulsively, for a couple months. It was therapy. I spewed my rage and sorrow upon the keyboard and somehow some a story was crafted. Then, as abruptly as I started writing, I stopped. For two years, I knew that I intended to finish the book, but I couldn’t bring myself to work on it. The original intensity had faded, yet it was too painful to give the file more than a cursory look.
Finally, last winter, I knew I was ready to begin again. A friend recommended that I start this blog. It was a great suggestion, as this has been a place for honing my writing, brainstorming ideas, learning to be comfortable with my writing and story being “out there,” and it has opened up bigger opportunities. It has also been a distraction from writing the book; 800 word typo-filled blog posts are much easier to write than a full-length fully-edited book. Who knew? 🙂
My goal for this summer was to actually finish the book rather than just talk about it. I’m pretty much there. It’s written. It’s formatted. It’s currently being edited. Once the final changes are made, I’ll upload the final version into KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) and click “submit.” (…and then re-format the whole thing again for the print version…but I’m not ready to think about that yet!)
A few months ago, I wrote a post contemplating when I could call myself a writer. I definitely feel like one now after a solid month of sitting on a hard chair in a hot office pounding away at the keys. The sore brain and butt confirm it. So does the almost full ream of paper it took to print the thing for the editor:)
It’s been a crazy summer pushing to get all my projects done before school starts up again (which for teachers around here is just a couple weeks away!). I used a 4-part motivation/organization/idea board to keep me going.
It’s crazy to think that I’ll be ready to change the label on the “book” square soon. Any suggestions for what I should add there?
I know my boyfriend and the animals will be happy to have me spend more time downstairs instead of holed up in my office. He (the boyfriend, not the dog!) leaves me little notes around my desk. I found this one in the spiral I use to jot down notes a couple days ago.
Tiger and Maddy have enjoyed my time writing. This is on the couch behind my desk.
This has been an amazing adventure. The book has been so therapeutic to write; working with the story has helped to distance me from some of the pain. I have learned so much in the process as I have taken the needed steps to take the book from its infancy three years ago to a finished and published (and hopefully read!) product.
I love that I’m celebrating (yes, celebrating) the three-year anniversary of the tsunami with the completion of the book. It feels like I’m ready to close that chapter of my life and move on to my new lessons.
Until then, I am enjoying some summer (which means resting my brain and running my butt) while awaiting word (hopefully not too many!) from the editor. And, soon, I hope to push “submit!”
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 