Hamstrung

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I have runner’s legs.

That’s not necessarily a good thing.

My hamstrings, hips and IT bands are perpetually tight, pulled taut from a combination of balled muscle and stuck fascia. Not only does it hinder my ability to touch my toes, it also leads to biomechanical issues and pain, especially as I get older.

Prior to this fall and its associated craziness, I was making good progress on my legs. I had committed to 30 minutes or more of yoga daily, with an emphasis on loosening the lower body. I was looser. Freer. My body learned to work together as the binds began to unravel.

And then the move happened.

And yoga didn’t.

So now I have runner’s legs.

And mover’s back.

The tension spread when I wasn’t watching, migrating up from the hips, along the spine to settle between the shoulder blades and around the neck.

It’s all connected. I turn my head to the side and I feel the pull all the way down to my hip.

So back to yoga I go.

Hamstring work has always been a challenge for me. They resist. They struggle. When we engage in a battle of wills, they always win.

The harder I push, the more they grip, the golgi bodies responding out of fear to protect the delicate tendons beneath.

There are tricks in hamstring work, techniques to encourage the muscle to relax and lengthen.

These same tricks work for our minds.

Much like the golgi bodies buried within our muscles send signals to protect the surrounding tissue from overstretching, our minds respond to too much pressure by sending out panic signals that encourage gripping. Holding on to whatever is causing the pain.

Constriction.

Status quo.

We can stay there or we can learn how to outsmart those signals and encourage letting go.

Breathe

Any effective hamstring work has to start with the breath. When your breath is restricted, tight, your body receives a signal to hold on. To everything. When the breath is full and complete, the body and mind relax and feel safe releasing a bit more with each exhale, trusting that the next inhale will come. Everything is connected. You can soften your hamstrings or calm your mind with nothing more than a few moments of mindful breath.

Face, But Don’t Force

When I first started doing yoga, I couldn’t find the right balance to use. I would either back off in difficult poses, afraid of facing the pain or I would meet it head on and engage in a game of chicken.

Neither works.

In order to let go of the pain, you have to face it. Acknowledge it. Greet it. But greet it gently. Just like you don’t respond well to a stranger running up to you, your discomfort won’t like a harsh welcome.

It will hide.

Instead, recognize it. Accept that it is there in whatever form it takes today. And then allow it to soften.

Be Patient

My hamstrings and I have a different perception of time. To me, a few seconds in a forward fold is plenty. To my legs, however, that’s just the first note of an entire concert. I’ve had to learn to operate on their schedule in order to see any progress.

Even when that means holding a single pose for 10+ minutes.

It’s amazing what the mind will kick up when I’m holding a pose.

It throws up excuses.

Reasons to hold onto the pain.

The trick is not to listen.

And breathe.

Releasing mental anguish is no different. We want it to be pulled from our lives in one great swoop, a magician drawing a scarf from a hat.

It takes time. Instead of the magician, picture playing Operation, a steady and careful hand patiently removing each offending piece, careful not to trigger the alarms.

It seems crazy that our minds and bodies want to hold on to what is causing us harm.

But they do.

You see, that’s a known pain. It becomes comfortable.

Whereas letting go risks the unknown.

And that is the scary part.

Consistency

This one hamstrung me this month. I stopped my daily practice and the pain crept back in. It’s subtle, so you don’t notice at first as you acclimate to the ever-increasing amplitude.

Until you do notice.

It’s so easy to think we’re done. Healed. All offending tissues have been softened and all issues resolved. But much as AA teaches that an addict is an addict for life, we are all healers for life.

It’s a daily process to remind ourselves to let go.

That it’s okay to feel suffering and it’s okay to release it.

It’s alright if you forget. Just acknowledge where you are today and breathe.

And begin again.

 

The Four Agreements in Wellness

Posted on by stilllearning2b

As a homework assignment for my recent girl’s weekend, I was asked to read The Four Agreements. I was fully willing, but somewhat skeptical, since as the only child of a counselor, I was raised on a steady diet of self-help. I think I overdosed.

After the first few pages, my skepticism was replaced with excitement and understanding. This was one book that made sense to me.

The premise is simple: four agreements that, if followed, will change your life. The book is short and the agreements are extremely simple but nowhere near easy. They are applicable to every area of life and manage to be general and still useful all at once. They are interconnected; one always leads to another.

As part of my own work with The Four Agreements, I am drilling down and applying them to various areas of life. Here is my take on The Four Agreements in wellness:

Be Impeccable With Your Word

This agreement, as it relates to wellness, is perhaps more often related to our internal dialog than our external discourse. We have a tendency to belittle ourselves, subjecting our inner selves to a constant barrage of “You’re not good enoughs.” That is not being impeccable with your word; the message does not match the underlying intent (“I am afraid that I am not good enough”) and the nature of the repeating message will cause it to be internalized and believed. An example of this is the person who thinks, “I’m too weak to stick to a diet” whenever he or she is interested in making a change. The truth is not that the person is too weak but that they are afraid of trying to change and failing.

Additionally, you are not being impeccable if your interpret a behavior as a critical flaw in your character. This message takes a simple action and turns it into something inherent and insurmountable. Just because you neglected to meditate today does not mean that you can never commit to anything. It only means that you did not do it today.

Another way that we often fail to be impeccable with our word to ourselves is that we make promises that we cannot keep. Do not commit to running every day if you have only been running once a week. It is not a realistic goal and will only cause you to have to break your promise. A promise to yourself is an important bind; only make it if you can keep it.

Do you blame others for your situation? Are you overweight because of your genes or out of shape because you are too busy to work out? Do you claim that you cannot possibly eat healthy because it is too time consuming or expensive? You guessed it, that’s not being impeccable.

Finally, be impeccable with your words towards others. Do not put them down only to elevate yourself.

I have failed to be impeccable with my word towards myself when it comes to yoga I have told myself for years that I am inflexible. The message was repeated until it was believed. Once I recognized that I was reinforcing my tight hamstrings and hips with my words, I chose to alter my internal dialog from “I am not flexible” to “I am working on becoming more flexible.” Apparently, my hips believed me, because they now can do things I never thought possible.

Be careful of what you say. You are listening.

Don’t Take it Personally

I don’t know about you, but my ego likes to tag along in the gym or in every class I take. It wants to lift more, go faster or bend further than anyone else just to prove it can.

But it’s not about ego.

It’s about making me the best I can be at that moment.

It doesn’t matter what others can do. It doesn’t matter what the readout on the treadmill says. It doesn’t matter what number is engraved on the side of the dumbbell.

None of those things say anything about you.

If someone criticizes the choices on your plate or the number imprinted on the tag on your pants, that is their ego talking. They are expressing their own struggles. It’s not about you.

Don’t Make Assumptions

We are our own worst enemies and assumptions are our biggest weapons.

I was that sickly kid who never managed to run the mile. I would end up wheezing and limping to the office to retrieve my inhaler after only a few short yards. I assumed that I couldn’t run. Even as I outgrew the asthma and became more and more fitness oriented, I assumed I couldn’t run.

Until I pretended that I could. Less than five years later, I completed a marathon.

We have tendency to assume that how we are now is how we will be. We prefer to relax with these beliefs rather than challenge them, for doing so means that we have the responsibility for our own well being.

Your own assumptions are your biggest barrier.

Turn it around. Try assuming that you can. And see what happens.

Always Do Your Best

This agreement is the reminder that we are human. We will falter and we will fail. Be gentle with yourself when you make a mistake and then recommit to doing your best.

Don’t let a small mistake become a pattern of missteps. One cookie (or even a box of cookies!) does not mean that your healthy diet is out the window. Acknowledge it, forgive it and move on.

Yoga is a wonderful teacher of this premise. It calls for you to be fully aware and accepting of who you are on the mat on that day. In that moment. It doesn’t matter what you could do yesterday or what you may be able to achieve tomorrow. Just do your best today.

These four agreements can help you achieve a more balanced and healthy life, regardless of your own wellness challenges. Be honest with yourself, don’t allow your assumptions to limit your potential, let your ego take a back seat and give yourself a pat on the back for your efforts. You deserve the best that you can offer:)

The Four Agreements in Marriage

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Taming the Monkey Mind: My Monkey’s Alive

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Monkey channel surfing

Do you ever have one of those days where you just feel a little more alive than usual? Everything just seems a little bit clearer. The breath a little lighter? The focus just a little clearer?

I’ve had one of those days today. It’s just a normal Saturday for me – writing, laundry, meditation, gym and a run, and the weekly trip to the grocery store. Usually, I pass through these activities with barely a thought. I get each one done to move on to the next. By the way, that mentality is the absolute anthesis of meditation. There’s a reason I call myself stilllearning2b:)

Today has been just a little bit different. Perhaps it’s related to the clear, sunny skies after being blanketed by rain for the past week. Maybe I’m feeling the freedom of a Monday off work. Or, possibly my mood was lifted by finally replacing my old, partially working headphones with a new, working pair. It turns out that music sounds much better when you can hear it in both ears. The difference between the old headphones, which haven’t worked right for over a year, and the new was so strong that I actually startled when I pushed “play.” I had grown so accustomed to the static and one-sided sound that the clarity coming through felt bigger than life.

That’s kind of how my whole day has felt. I feel like I’ve fully experienced each action today, from the run along the river to selecting apples at the store. I haven’t felt pressure to get it done or to rush on to the next thing. I haven’t grumbled about having to do chores or run errands.

When I started my meditation challenge, I looked at meditation as a separate part of my day. A time set aside to be mindful. I would get it done and then move on to the next item on the list. I’m finally starting to incorporate mindfulness in each moment, which of course is the ultimate goal.

I need to remember this feeling. I need to remember that monkey mind is alive, not just in those moments when I turn inward and focus on the breath, but all of the time. I need to remember that when I am fully present in each moment, I can find joy even in the mundane. I need to remember that I choose to feel rushed and that I can also choose to feel at peace. I also need to remember not to wait so long to replace my broken headphones next time!

Other adventures of my monkey mind:

Taking the Monkey to the Gym

Shaving the Monkey

My Monkey’s Flinging Poo

Experimenting on the Monkey

Embracing the Monkey