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8 Lessons From the Campground

Posted on May 5, 2012May 20, 2013 by stilllearning2b

Mere days before Thanksgiving, my partner and I found out we had to move within 30 days because his house had just sold. We had been planning a camping trip over the break and our initial reaction was to cancel the trip, so that we could focus on the move. I am so glad that we decided to continue with the trip. Not only did we have a good time and enjoyed the time together, but it actually made the move less stressful because we had lessons that we took with us from the campground.

1) Teamwork Required

One of the best aspects about camping is that it requires teamwork. Assembling a large tent is a,most an impossibility single-handedly, but becomes a fun challenge when tackled by two. We quickly fell into a rhythm, working together, sharing some tasks and dividing others. He would brave the early morning frost to get the fire started so that we could prepare breakfast. I faced the frigid waters to clean the dishes of their breakfast remnants. The dog, well, he just laid there shivering in a sleeping bag looking pitiful. We functioned as a team.

2) Take Pleasure in the Smallest Things

When camping, you certainly have to do without many of life’s modern conveniences. However, because your expectations are in line with reality, it is not necessary a bad thing to leave that behind. You learn to appreciate the smallest achievements, the tiniest bit of warmth, a few steps on level ground. You don’t know when your next bit of pleasure will arrive, so you celebrate each moment of it that comes your way. And, just so you know, Starbucks VIA works great at a campsite; that first sip of coffee each brisk morning was heaven.

3) Surroundings Don’t Impact You as Much as You Think

I have always been sensitive to my surroundings; I need things “just so” so that I can work or relax. This can be a problem when moving, because some amount of chaos and disorder is inevitable. The campground was organized for functionality. We certainly had beautiful views, but they were not to be had in our immediate surroundings. But it was okay. Happiness is not found in a campground that looks beautiful, but is devoid of soul. I learned to release some of my obsession with my surroundings; they don’t matter as much as I think.

4)Take Breaks

We spent each day on long hikes up nearby mountains. We had our goal of reaching the tops, of course, but we planned each day with plenty of time to get there. As a result, we were able to take breaks whenever and wherever we chose. These are some of my favorite memories of the trip; the times sitting on the side of a mountain, looking out over the vistas, my boys by my side. Immense pleasure can be found in those moments between activity.

5) Share Burdens

Long day hikes require a decent amount of supplies, especially when your partner insists on bringing survival gear:) We shared the load, distributing the weight so that no one person had too much to bear. Even the dog has to carry his part. There is no reason that any burden has to be carried alone; you can even share the load with your dog if need to.

6) Uphills are Balanced by Downs

Some of those hikes felt like they were uphill both ways, but any loop or out-and-back will have a net elevation change of zero. Just like on the trails, we are often more aware of the uphills in life, but remember that they are balanced by the downhills. Make an effort to notice the times the path is easy.

7) Use Your Resources

This is where my partner really shines. When we realized that one of the tent stakes had broken when we were assembling the nylon beast, he grabbed some supplies from his pack and some sticks from the woods and quickly fashioned a replacement within minutes. Before declaring a situation beyond hope, look around you and see what you can utilize to help.

8) It Takes Effort to Gain Perspective

Our campsite was located at the base of Table Rock Mountain, its visage towering over us in all its granite splendor. Our first day was spent preparing the campground, we were in our little insular world. The next afternoon after a long, uphill climb, we reached elevation where we could see our campsite and how it related to the larger landscape. We tend to live life in its details and forget to look at the big picture. It takes effort to gain perspective, but a climb to the top gives valuable information. It’s worth checking out now and then.

We took those lessons with us into the move and we try to carry them with us all of the time.

Taming the Monkey Mind: My Monkey’s Flinging Poo

Posted on May 5, 2012March 8, 2024 by stilllearning2b

Yesterday was a frustrating day at work. We had to cancel a fun activity for the kids at the last minute due to weather. Now, I am sure this will come as a complete and utter shock to you, but middle school students do not react well to change. Especially change that requires they attend classes they thought they were going to miss. They were upset and they were not afraid to share it. All day long there was a negative undertone as the kids dealt with their frustrations by grumbling about how unfair it was and the teachers dealt with their frustrations by complaining about the kids. It was a fruitless and circuitous endeavor that felt impossible to halt. One thousand eighth graders are a formidable force. Especially in May.

My monkey mind did not respond well to the negative energy. Instead of relying upon his prior lessons in mindfulness and breath, he began to run around his cage, shaking the bars, and flinging poo at all who dared approach. It wasn’t pretty. I tried to meditate to soothe the agitated monkey mind before I took him out for a planned meeting with friends. He just pointed and laughed at me. Apparently this would require a tool of a different sort.

I attended the gathering and had a wonderful time. The monkey was distracted by all of the conversation and he behaved relatively well. No poo was flung, much to the appreciation of all in attendance.

Although my monkey mind had been somewhat calmed, his agitation was still simmering just beneath the surface. As mediation had proven itself unable to handle the task yesterday, I decided to try to pacify my monkey with sprints. As I ran those 100 yards full-out, my monkey mind was silenced, holding on for dear life and unable to screech his disapproval. They were mini-meditations in intervals. All I could think about was that moment. That breath. That step. The frustrations and negativity floated away like the dust kicked up from under my feet. It was a great big cleansing breath for the soul. And a reminder for my monkey mind that it’s not nice to throw poo.

Don’t Practice the Perfect

Posted on May 5, 2012March 6, 2024 by stilllearning2b

As an algebra teacher, I spend much of my day pushing kids beyond what they think they are capable. To no one’s surprise, I am often met with resistance. They would rather practice addition rather than polynomials. They want to practice the perfect.

In the example of algebra students, it is easy to see the absurdity of practicing something one has already mastered to the exclusion of learning something new. However, it is often not so clear in our own lives how frequently we gravitate towards the known rather than explore the edge and delve into the unknown and unmastered. If always do what you know, you will never know anything else. This clicked for me one day in the gym (shocker, I know) when I immediately walked towards the free weights. Again. That was my comfort zone; that was where I knew what I was I doing. Free weights are awesome, but I was slighting myself by not trying anything else. I made a promise to myself to try at least one new exercise machine each visit or try one new move with free weights. And, you know what, I now have added to my “mastered” repertoire and discovered new favorites. If it wasn’t for trying new things, my “I can’t, won’t and I’ll never” list wouldn’t exist and my life would be much duller.

It is comfortable to practice the perfected and scary to be vulnerable by trying something new. We often make excuses, promising to practice something once we improve at it. Think about that. That is like saying I meditate because I have a calm mind, rather than I meditate to have a calm mind. Or, I’m not flexible enough to do yoga, rather than I do yoga to become flexible. Just rearranging those few words entirely shifts the focus and intent of the practice. Th only way to improve is to practice the imperfect.

We often need a push, either internal or external, to delve into the new. Start by being honest with yourself about how you stay in your comfort zone. Then, make a committment to grow in one or more areas. If it helps, try picturing your algebra teacher pushing you along the way:)

Here are some suggestions to help you break out of practicing the perfect:

-Surround yourself with people that have knowledge and interests that differ from yours.

-Sign up for a class. The YMCA and park services usually offer some low-cost and low-committment classes.

-Take suggestions from or just spend time with a kid; they’re usually fearless when it comes to trying new experiences.

-If you’re concerned about trying a new class, start with a similar version designed for the elderly. The welcoming environment and shared wisdom will immediately put you at ease.

-Find someone who can struggle through with you. My students benefit from seeing others in the same boat.

-Find a way to record your progress along the way. Seeing improvement is a huge motivator.

It’s time to stop practicing addition and move on to something that will challenge you to grow. And, no, it doesn’t have to be polynomials.

What Words Were Spoken?

Posted on May 4, 2012March 6, 2024 by stilllearning2b

I stumbled across this article this morning and found familiar words. My husband left me a letter than contained many of the same excuses. I think it can be helpful to realize that these words are often not meant to be taken personally, rather they are the platitudes spoken to try to excuse the behavior and pass along the shame and guilt. These are not words to internalize and let fester, rather, these are words to let slide through and let go.

What Cheating Men Really Mean When They Say They’re Leaving | First Wives World.

Men – I would love to hear from you. Are these words similar to those spoken by cheating wives?

The Garden

Posted on May 4, 2012 by stilllearning2b

In my old life I had a garden.

When we first moved into our home, the 1 acre yard was a motley medley of scraggly grass and tenacious weeds; too wet to mow and too shady for grass to thrive. It was a blank canvas. Slowly, I began to paint, using the medium of small starter plants, tree seedlings obtained from the forestry department, and cuttings and divisions nurtured from friends and neighbors.

I had a vision of a magical woodland retreat, filled with the soft haze of ferns and the subtle flowers of the understory. For years, this image existed only in my head, the reality of small, young plants planted in a vast, weed-strewn yard looked nothing like a garden. I spent hours on the weekends and after work attacking weeds and planting replacements. On days when the weather was prohibitive, I would research plants and growing conditions. I made annual treks to a budget nursery in a nearby town, filling my car to the bursting points with dreams held in the bright green folds of new growth.

But slowly, it emerged. I watched 2 foot bald cypress saplings grow to 30 foot trees. Ferns and hostas spread their roots far and wide under the protective shade of the understory. Hydrangea proudly held their blooms high, as though no longer ashamed of their companions. Colors would come and go throughout the weeks: daylilies, Lenten rose, iris, geraniums, azaleas. Their spectacular shows provided endless variety and interest.

From February through November, I would begin most every day with a walk along the stone path, through the pergolas, and over the boardwalk. Examining the new growth,watching the wildlife, reveling in the beauty of the plants. On the weekends, I would bring my papers to grade out to one of the hammocks to enjoy the breezes through the leaves and the interplay of light and shadow.

In my old life I had a garden.

It was painful to walk away from my plants, nurtured for so many years. I found myself staring at plants around town wistfully, thinking of their counterparts in my yard. As with much of my transition, it was painful, but also freeing. I no longer had to worry about the assaults of deer, the dangers of a last freeze, or the effects of a flood. My weekends were not filled with weeding. My hands no longer frozen from the cold February soil.

But still, I mourned my plants. I purchased a pass to the botanical gardens and promised myself a monthly visit. Now, I walk their perfectly manicured paths and appreciate the beauty created by teams of professionals. The gardens are stunning, but it’s not the same as one created by my own labor. My own dreams.

In my old life I had a garden.

The last few years, my nurturing energies have been turned inwards, helping myself to grow and thrive. I have tried to eliminate the weeds, start new plantings, and encourage growth. I have become my own garden.

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