So, I realized after I filmed this that I neglected to go into much detail about the time immediately following the suicide attempt (like the text conversation my husband had with my mom – yeah, weird) and what happened with the other wife at that time. All that is detailed in the book along with much more of the humor around the court craziness. It just gets too detailed to try to explain verbally and, truth be told, I wanted to get on to the better stuff:) Hopefully, I won’t make anybody cry with this one!
Before you watch Part 3, please make sure you’ve seen Part 1 and Part 2.
Not long after we started dating, I accompanied my teenage boyfriend to his grandfather’s funeral. I had never met nor heard anything about the deceased; my first impression came from the pastor’s opening lines:
“It’s important to be nice, but it’s more important to be important.”
Surprised at the mutilation of the common quote, I turned quizzically to my boyfriend.
“He messed up,” he confirmed in a whisper, “But it’s accurate in this case.”
I spent the remainder of the service wondering about the life and priorities of a man who left his family with that impression.
Thanks for the positive feedback on the first video. I thought it might give a more “human” feel to the story and I’m glad to see that that seems to be the case.
I want to address a couple points. First, I don’t consider myself brave. I just think there is a need for a public dialog about divorce and deception. This kind of situation is so much more common that we know (for both men and women) but many don’t talk about it because they feel ashamed or foolish. The only shame is in remaining silent and allowing this continue and for people to feel alone and unsupported.
I know there are those that wonder why I still write and talk about this now that I am happily remarried and have moved on. I talk about it because there are still those going through it. I talk about because I want to show the depths I came from and give hope to those still there. I talk about it to show that it’s okay to still feel sad sometimes and that our pasts are a part of us.
Those of that read me regularly know that I don’t spend much time talking about those first few awful weeks. That’s because it makes me hurt for the Lisa of five years ago. I wish I could tell her that it would be okay great and that she would have love and life again.
Whenever I stumble across the words “affair-proof,” my mind responds like the Incredible Hulk — raging and ready to rip. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wish I could find solace in those words and place my faith in their sanctity.
But I can’t.
Because there is no such thing as an affair-proof relationship.
It simply doesn’t exist. And pretending that it does only causes additional pain and heartbreak.
Implied in those words is the understanding that if an affair occurs, the betrayed obviously did not perform his or her duties effectively to affair-proof the marriage. It places the blame for the infidelity squarely on the shoulders on the one who was cheated upon. Read the rest here.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 