The Synergy of Mental and Physical Strength

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Which do you feel like you have more of: mental strength or physical strength?  Regardless of your answer, you can use your strength to address the area in which you have room to improve.

How to Grow Mental Strength From Physical

Use your physical attributes to set up situations where you gain confidence in your strength and abilities.

If you chat with people at the starting line of most races, you will find that many them  started racing around the time of a personal crisis.  In order to help build their inner strength and confidence, they created a physical obstacle that they knew they could overcome.

I joined these multitudes for my first half marathon (in fact, my first race ever) a few months after my husband left.  needed a physical goal that was challenging but doable to train my mind for the long haul ahead.  It was two hours of hell on that course, but I made it through and, in doing so, knew that I could face other marathons, even of the emotional kind.

How to Grow Physical Strength From Mental

Use your fortitude to overcome your physical obstacles and discomfort.

I had this experience in high school; I had major sensory and mobility issues with my right arm due to a nerve conduction problem.  As a result of the pain and disability, I lost strength and endurance.  My body was weak and uncoordinated.  As my release from physical therapy crew near, I looked for a way to increase my strength.  I had always been drawn to the Monkees (yes, I did have a huge crush on Davy Jones) and the show had introduced me to the sport of fencing.  I decided that was what I wanted to try and I was lucky enough to have an excellent instructor in town and a mom that would make  it happen.

The first day I walked into the salle (fencing school), I couldn’t even hold the weapon in my hand.  My instructor thought I was a fool.  Who would commit to learning to fence when they couldn’t even hold a three-pound foil for a few seconds?  This was where the mind came in.  I was determined to make it happen.  I used my stubbornness to push my body further than it wanted to go, and  as a result, gained strength, endurance, and mobility.

For most of us, we will have times when one area is stronger than the other.  Funnel the strength you do have into the area that is lacking to achieve overall balance, vitality, and resilience.

Ten Lessons I am Still Learning

Posted on by stilllearning2b
Boston - Boston Common: Parkman Plaza - Learning
Boston - Boston Common: Parkman Plaza - Learning (Photo credit: wallyg)

One of the things I love most about my partner is that he sees himself as a perpetual student; he is always willing and eager to learn something new, even in an area where he is considered an expert.

Last year, we were out at dinner with a group of friends.  One of our friend’s 8 year son opened the conversation with my boyfriend.

“Do you have a black belt?” the boy asked eagerly.

“I do,” came the reply.

“Actually, he has several,” interjected the boy’s dad.

“Wow!  Does that mean you know everything?”

“Actually, a black belt means that you are ready to begin learning.”

I loved that response.  It serves as a reminder to me to always be open to learning more, especially in those areas where I already have knowledge.

In that spirit, here are ten lessons that I am still learning:

1) Life doesn’t just have two speeds – on and off.  It is not only possible to go slowly, but sometimes it is preferable.

2) It is okay not to be the first one at work; stuff still manages to get done even if I arrive after the custodians.

3) I’m working on learning to sleep past 6:00 am and considering the possibility of mastering the power nap.

4)  A messy kitchen does not mean a chaotic life.  It just means that people actually live in our house.

5) Sometimes it is okay for the play to come before the work.  (I got this one from my dog)

6) I am still working on going downhill on wheels (bikes, skates, etc.).  I just don’t  trust those things!

7) Stretching is worthwhile exercise even if is doesn’t work up a sweat.

8) It is okay to relax.

9) Money will be there; I don’t need to get too stressed about it.

10) Always take time to appreciate what you have and remember to express your gratitude.  Especially when the kitchen is messy.

A(void)

Posted on by stilllearning2b

He had lost himself.  Somewhere along the way, he no longer knew who he was.  Did the depression come first, leading him astray?  Or did the depression tag along, following the self out the door?  Regardless  of the order, he was left a shell.  Rather than face the void and explore its dark depths, he chose to avoid by creating a facade of a man.  It must have been exhausting, balancing on that edge, trying not to fall while maintaining the illusion that he was nowhere near the cliff.  He was a master at that delicate act for years.  Even when he left, he thought he could continue to pull a Copperfield on those around him, using mirrors of  deception  to hide the enormous truth.  The fall was  inevitable.  For a brief period after his arrest, he seemed to see the precipice, the darkness surrounding him just beyond the lights he used to distract and blind.  Yet still, he was unable to face the pain, and he chose to continue being a master of illusion. By denying the void, he allowed it to grow.

avoid

I also avoided the truth in those years, not consciously, but on some deep level. I didn’t give any credence to the physical symptoms of anxiety that coursed through my body in the final few months; I wrote them off as work stress combined with my Type A personality. It’s hard accepting that I didn’t see the truth. I feel bad for me, but even more so, I feel like I failed him. One of the few regrets I have is that I didn’t know that he needed help before it was too late.

I expected to face my own void when he left.  I loved  that man, adored  him.  He had been the driving force in my existence for half my life.  How could I lose him and not face a gaping wound?  The initial loss was too raw, too overwhelming to feel any sense of  loss.  As I settled in to my new state of being, I surprisingly realized I didn’t feel as much emptiness as I expected.  It was more like the void left after a tooth has been pulled: slightly sore with the occasional shocky bit, but mainly just strange and alien.  Like one does with the tongue after losing a tooth, I explored the hole, drawn to its strangeness.  At first, it consumed all my waking thoughts, but as time elapsed, it grew less prominent.  I became accustomed to his absence faster than I ever anticipated, consciously filling that void with friends, activities, anything I could get my hands on.  I survived not by teetering on the edge, but by filling in the hole.  I am still aware of the place where he was, but accept that he was the tooth that needed to pulled for healing to occur.

I hope that he is not still trying to walk along that cliff or survive the darkness beyond.  I wish that he, too, can find a way to heal the void.

 

Part to Whole or Whole to Part

Posted on by stilllearning2b

“The part can never be well unless the whole is well.”

Plato

Until the last couple years, I simply ignored most areas of wellness in myself; I exercised and ate right, but I never looked beyond the physical.  That has changed now, but I still have a lot to learn.

I have a tendency to approach my health like I’m playing Whack-a-Mole, putting all of my energy into one area at a time.  I have been approaching it from part to whole, get all the parts in order, and the whole will follow. Just like with that infuriating game, it seems like that perfect alignment cannot be maintained for long.

Maybe I’m going at it all wrong; maybe I should consider the whole first, address the big picture needs.  Perhaps by going whole to part, it won’t be such a struggle to get the little pieces to fall into place.

Or maybe I just need to go to arcade for some more practice.

Happiness is in the Little Things

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I stood in the personal care aisle of Target the other day looking for a new body wash. This one caught my eye. At first, I snickered. After all, what could soap have to do with happiness? Then I paused. Wondering. Maybe I was missing something. Maybe the secret to sustaining happiness is in finding pleasure in the little things. I now smile every time I take a shower, that little bottle serves as a reminder of a big lesson.