Two Ladies Going to Verona

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It was a happy accident.  My mom was talking about how she met the goal of improving her blood work (cholesterol, glucose, etc.) and needed a new motivation to continue to eat right and exercise.  I was feeling the travel bug biting hard and my unused passport in my maiden name was growing restless.  And, somehow, some way, the topic of Italy came up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She mentioned that it was her dream destination.  The top contender on the bucket list.  I casually mentioned, “Why don’t we do it together.”  I heard her face light up over the phone.  She grew excited.  Giddy.  We only had a few minutes until I had to go, so we quickly talked through some basics.  I had made the trip to Italy once before with a high school group, so I had some idea of what I wanted to do on this trip.  I thought of the places I had gone and what I wanted to share with her. I took off like a rocket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rome, of course.  The history there.  Piazza Navona and that little gelato place.  Vatican museum.  That place was amazing.  Famous artwork even lined the hallways to the bathrooms.  All those cathedrals.  The Coliseum.  I wonder if it’s still full of cats?  The Pantheon.  That one caught me by surprise.  The beauty and unexpected joy of the rain pouring through the occulus.   Florence.  The Uffizi Gallery.  Oh my god, those statues were amazing.  Pompeii.  I still dream of that place.  Inspiring and haunting all at once.  All the images came tumbling back.

I never made it north of Florence.  She began to speak wistfully of Venice and the lake country.  We would have to include those, as well.

When?  We set a date.  Summer of 2013.

All of this occurred in under 20 minutes.  A trip sketched out.  A dream laid.

Good thing I tossed a coin in here 20 years ago!

I had a busy evening with friends that night.  She had a busy evening too; purchasing travel and Italy apps, buying books, and beginning research.  I could tell she was thrilled.  Even better, I could tell she was motivated to stay healthy to be able to handle the rigors of Italy.  I am excited to be able to do this trip together: mother and daughter.  We will have our challenges, but they are known ones and mainly due to our different paces.  It’s a good thing that I have mellowed somewhat and that my Vibram running shoes pack down small:)  I am looking forward to showing her the sights that made such an impact on me 20 years ago and seeing the look on her face as she visits the locals of her dreams.

This was just a few short weeks ago.  Since then, she has mapped out the itinerary and started researching hostels.  I have begun the process of figuring out how to feed myself while there (luckily, it looks like gluten free will be easy, but I remember them all too clearly calling me a “sadomasochist” for being vegetarian when I was a teenager).  I’ve been inundated with Italy-themed emails and the first “mom” package of books has arrived.  I love it.  I get to see my mom excited and, for me, I get to obtain the first stamp on the passport of my new life.

Look out Verona, these two ladies are coming your way!

On the Menu: Big Salad, Big Sun, and Chuck Palahniuk

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It’s spring break!  No Tupperware for me today!  My initial (active) plans for today were scuttled by the protestations of my tummy, so I gave in to a day of reading and sunning on the deck.

Lunch today was a BIG salad. First, I prepped by baking some tofu.  I made this batch spicy, adding lots of crushed red pepper along with Trader Joe’s 21 Seasoning Salute and some smoked paprika.  I love to bake it until it is soft on the inside and firm on the exterior.

Asparagus was on sale at Kroger, so of course I stocked up.  These were not the usual slender tender stalks of spring, these were large and succulent.  These big boys hold up well to grilling, so that’s just what I did with a little olive oil, salt, and pepper.

Then, it was time to put it all together.  I started with a base of mixed spring greens and added cucumbers, red onion, red pepper, baby bella mushrooms, tomatoes, avocado, asparagus, pumpkin seeds, and tofu for mine (the boyfriend prefers chicken).  This was all topped with my boyfriend’s favorite dressing: garlic, pomegranate seeds, balsamic vinegar, salt and pepper all mixed in the blender.  We both love these big and satisfying salads.

I decided to search for new books by some of my favorite authors.  You can tell by my find (Damned, October 2011), that I don’t do this very often:)  Chuck and I are having a glorious day in the sun along with the dog.  The cat, as you can see, prefers the shade.

 

Worth the Price

Posted on by stilllearning2b

At heart, I am a frugal person.  In my old life, I bordered on ascetic in many areas.  I routinely denied myself pleasure for perceived future happiness.  That imagined future never happened and those carefully saved pennies were stolen from me.  I have learned the value of indulgence.  The following are things that I have found are worth the price for me.

Note: This is a deeply personal list.  I am not making judgements against those who find pleasures in areas where I do not.  We all have to find what contributes to our own happiness.

A photo of a cup of coffee. Esperanto: Taso de...

Coffee:  Most of my coffee is consumed at home on the cheap, but I do not hesitate to enjoy a good cup once a week or so at a coffee shop.  The $4 is more than worth it for the atmosphere and service.  I developed this habit the year that I lived with my friend who has a baby.  I grew to relish those moments in a coffee shop, by myself but alone.  I still find them to be almost magical places where I can get away and connect with those around me all at the same time.

Botanical Garden Membership: This has been $60 very well spent.  I find peace and restoration in the gardens and with a membership already paid for, I do not hesitate to visit on a frequent basis.  In my old life, I used to have a garden.  In my new life, I pay to visit a communal one.

Massage: Massage serves two functions for me; it is therapy for my aching muscles and ligaments from all the abuse I put them through and it calming and relaxing as I surrender to touch.  In the early months of the divorce, I committed myself to monthly massages to help me heal and to sooth my anxiety.  Now, I use them more for myofascial release to help with my running.  Either way, it is money well spent.

Running Shoes:  I only made the mistake once of buying cheap running shoes.  I paid for it for months with plantar fasciitis.  Now, I purchase new shoes (I am a Mizuno Waverider fan) every 400-500 miles.  I still look for a bargain, though; I buy a couple pairs at once of the old style when the new one is released.

Lip Gloss: I am addicted.  I have tubes in every room of the house, in my desk at work, in every backpack and running pack, and multiples in my purse.  I splurge on two types: Burt’s Bees and Bath and Body Works.  I usually buy the latter once a year.  It always feels a bit silly walking out of the store with $30 in lip balm.  But I love it:)

Housecleaner: This has been a big splurge for me.  In my old life, I never had one, nor did I have the need for one.  My ex and I were very compatible when it came to living together and the care of a home.  We literally never had to have a discussion about who would do what chore; it just happened.  Things are a bit different in my new life.  My boyfriend is awesome, but not always the best at keeping up with the house.  In order to save the relationship, we decided it would be best to have some help in the cleaning department.  I don’t like spending the money, but it is worthwhile so that I do not feel overwhelmed keeping up with all of it.

Produce: I like to eat as healthy as possible.  I get frustrated when the weekly coupons are never for broccoli, but I buy it anyway.  I often will spend as much at the farmer’s market as I do at the grocery.  I try to shop seasonally and use sales whenever possible, but I refuse to avoid the produce section even though the chips are cheaper.

Produce

Yoga Classes and Gym Memberships:  In my old life, we had a home gym because it was cheaper to outfit the house with equipment once than to pay for two gym memberships for any length of time.  It worked fine, but I have grown to love the options and social side of the gym.  I now have a small home gym (kettlebells, heavy bag, pull-up bar), but mainly use the commercial facility.  I even went through a period last year where I had two gym memberships: one near work and one near home.  It felt so indulgent!  I have paired it down to a single gym, but I also buy classes at a separate yoga studio.  I never feel like this is a wasted expense.

Occasional Gluten Free Pastries: I don’t eat sweets much, but when I do, I am happy to pay $4 for a gluten free cupcake.  I think the price helps to mark it as something special.  Something to be enjoyed only on an occasional basis.

Gas or Plane Tickets to an Adventure or to See Family:  This is one I have really embraced in my new life.  My single biggest expense last year outside of basic living expenses was airfare.  I mainly focused on family last year, and it was worth every penny.

Deutsch: Meer

There are many areas where I have not noticed a correlation between price and happiness.  For these things, I refuse to spend much money.  Things I get on the cheap:

Books:  I love to read.  I always have.  On childhood road trips, my parents would map the route by used book stores so that I could replenish my stocks.  Now, I get the majority of my material free through the library or on my Kindle.  I only pay for books that the library does not carry and that are truly worth it.

Books Books

Music: My favorite way to obtain cheap (and legal!) music is through Amazon.  I buy used CDs for $.99 plus $2.98 shipping and handling.  I can handle $3 for an entire album’s worth of music.

Clothes: I try to find a balance between quality (read lifespan) and price.  I usually go the the outlet mall once or twice a year, armed with coupons, and purchase any needed work clothing.  My workout gear mainly comes from Marshall’s, where it is a fraction of the cost of a sporting goods store, yet I can still get the function I need (cotton?  no thanks!). I prefer consignment shops for my casual clothing, as I can get cute stuff for a few bucks a piece.  In reality, much of my clothing is old, but by staying the same size and buying basic pieces, I can still wear it.

Haircuts:  I have never been one to appreciate the difference between a “quality” haircut and a budget friendly one, and I worked at a fancy salon for several months.  It’s Great Clips all the way for me!

Pedicures:  Others swear by these.  So, last year, at the suggestion of a friend, I gave one a try.  It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t worth $20.  Especially since running wore the polish off in just a few short days.  I’ll stick to slapping on a coat of paint myself and putting the money elsewhere.

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Wine: I love to go to wine tastings and I can certainly appreciate the difference of quality.  However, when it comes down to my normal life, I am simply not awed enough by the difference to spend the extra money.  I’m not embarrassed to say, you will find “Two Buck Chuck” in my home:)

What is on your lists?  What things are valuable to you?

Taming the Monkey Mind: Accepting the Way of the Monkey

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Monkey and baby

As I mentioned in my last Monkey Mind post, I am done with the enumeration of my meditation practice.  I feel as though I have begun to make it a part of me and the key is just to commit to it every day.  In this way, the remainder of the 28 days will pass and hopefully many more.

My lesson of late has been one of acceptance.  It is foolish to expect monkeys to act like disciplined martial arts students; they have a wild way about them that resists too much control. Trying to collect the monkey mind is like trying to hold water in a sieve, you focus on one area, and the critters escape out the other holes.  I am learning to cover all the escape routes in my mind with a thin layer of intention, rather than focusing too intently on one gap or another.  I still lose focus, but it is more nuanced, more relaxed and less like a game of Whack a Mole.  I think I’m finally understanding that oxymoron of “relaxed intention.”

On an aside, I am finding that I meditate much better in a prone position.  I’m not sure why this is, perhaps it sends a message to my mind that it is time to relax.  I would like to become more comfortable practicing in the seated position, but I am not going to push it at this point.

I am excited about my practice this afternoon.  (Uh-oh, here I go with those expectations again…)  I have been wanting to meditate lying in the warm sun, feeling the rays sooth me with their heat.  Today should be a good day for that.  Unless it isn’t, and I shall have to accept that.

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Child’s Pose

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Balasana

Sometimes I forget my own lessons.  I let expectation build.  I am too hard on myself.  I try to fight what is instead of working with it.

Yesterday afternoon, I started feeling a bit sick.  Nothing too bad, but my stomach was definitely telling me to take it easy.  I tried arguing with my digestive system for awhile, determined to continue on with my plans for the evening.  My stomach (and my boyfriend, who was speaking for the GI tract) gained the upper hand.  I relented.  I rested.  But I was still having trouble letting go of the “wasted” evening during spring break.

I hoped to wake today feeling fully restored so that I could attend my usual hot power yoga class.  I don’t think that’s going to happen; something about hot yoga while running a fever doesn’t seem too smart.  I am trying hard this morning to accept this change in plans (and the others that will spiral out of it).  I am working to shift my expectations.  I can tell that my body needs to rest, but I am not too sick to do some things.  I will embrace this day of perusing book shelves, walking the aisles of Whole Foods to see what new foods entice me, and writing while sitting in the sun.

In yoga, the practice often begins in child’s pose and the pose can be re-assumed at any point in order to rest.  I used to see taking the pose as a sign of defeat, “I am too weak to handle this practice.”  Now, I see the wisdom in taking a respite, in taking time to gather and rest.  I have found that it improves the quality of the rest of the practice.

I am taking a metaphorical child’s pose today.  I am going to rest the body and recenter the mind.  I am going to let go of my old hopes and plans, and fully embrace the day as it comes.