5 Things Which Require More Flexibility Than Yoga

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Divorce certainly takes flexibility, mental contortions.  Your life partner has become an enemy, stranger, platonic friend, or some combination of the three.  You have to go from seeing yourself as half of a package deal to solo, ties to no other.  You may be negotiating how to parent children when the parents no longer share a home.  You may be deconstructing the destruction, examining the known from unknown angles.  It is so easy to blame, yourself and others, for the way things are.  Everything that has been assumed is no longer.  The old lines of mental travel, though well-worn, will not serve you here.  It is time to be more flexible, more accepting of what is.  Wherever you are today is where you are meant to be.  Let go, breathe, and you will deepen.

 

5 Things Which Require More Flexibility Than Yoga.

Yoga 4 Love Community Outdoor Yoga class for F...

On the Menu: Low Carb Pasta and Baked Zucchini Fries

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I made a mistake last week.  We are in the midst of testing season at school which means the daily schedule is put in blender and spit back out.  As a result, I ended up with 3 days last week with no lunch period, meaning I had to attempt to eat (two hours past my normal lunch time) while speed-teaching 22 minute classes.  The mistake?  I packed a high-fiber, voluminous lunch with lots of beans, greens, and cauliflower that my body didn’t like ingesting rapidly and my palate did not enjoy cold.

I’m learning.  We have another round of testing this week and I am packing a lower-fiber spread that will be fine if I do not have access to the microwave.  My stomach is breathing a sigh of relief.

Black Bean Pasta With Raw Marinara

As a gluten-free gal, I had pretty much given up on ever being able to eat pasta again that wasn’t loaded with simple carbs and entirely devoid of protein.  Then I found this hiding on the bottom shelf in a local health food store.  I brought it home, a bit dubious that the texture and flavor would be as good as the nutritional profile (17 g carbs and 20 g protein!!!).  I mixed up a quick pesto sauce in my food processor, cooked the pasta, and tossed it together.  It. Was. Amazing.  It felt right in the mouth, tasted great, and filled me up like only protein can.

A few days later, I went back to the store to buy more of the mung bean fettuccine and to pick up the black bean spaghetti.  The shelves were empty:(  Panicked (I NEEDED this stuff now), I visited my Amazon site. Placed an order.  Several days later, I received an email that they were sold out.  Not one to give up easily, I found another site that carries the pastas.  I received my first order of the black bean spaghetti last week and I am excited to try it in this week’s recipe.

I needed a sauce that would be good cold and I wanted something different than the pesto I used earlier.  I decided to try the marinara recipe from here, but I added onion, garlic, and mushrooms.  What?  I said I had to be able to eat quickly; I never said anything about my breath having to smell nice:)  I topped the spaghetti with a vegan “cheese” made of walnuts and nutritional yeast for a little extra yum and a little extra protein.

Pasta.  $6  Tomatoes.  $3  The look of utter horror on my students’ faces when they see me eating black pasta with red sauce.  Priceless.

Baked Zucchini Fries

This is another recipe from Lean, Luscious, and Meatless, my favorite book from childhood that has disappeared from print.

4 zucchini, end cut off and sliced longwise into 1/8″ slices

dip these into a mixture of flax seed (the cookbook uses wheatgerm, but that whole gluten thing gets in the way), garlic powder, paprika, and oregano

Arrange cut side up on a cookie sheet and bake at 450° for 15 minutes.  Extra yummy served with tomato sauce.

 

A bonus of this week’s meal?  It’s quick to prepare, leaving me with plenty of time to read Fifty Shades of Grey, a reading assignment from a coworker.

I’ll top this off with some strawberries and a protein shake that can be quickly downed discretely.  Here’s to a happier tummy and the last week of testing!

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Graduation Day

Posted on by stilllearning2b

This all started with a 28 day meditation challenge.  It has actually been 32 days since I began; I added a few days to make up for the two that I missed during my camping trip.

So, I guess the first question should be if I consider my monkey mind trained after a month of formal education?  I’m not sure if I can claim a fully tamed monkey, but it certainly more well-behaved.  During meditation, my mind still tries to escape to planning mode every few breaths, but I find that I am able to bring it back much easier and almost without thought.  It no longer protests being brought back to breath.  In daily life, my mind is much calmer, less prone to anxiety, and much more aware and present in the moment.  That’s not to say that there aren’t moments where my monkey mind is running about its cage, shrieking and throwing things at the passers by, but luckily for all us, those moments have reduced in frequency.

Just because my monkey-mind has graduated from this program, he is not done with his education.  In fact, this was simply a starting point.  I am going to continue on this journey, me and my monkey mind, with a zen mind, a beginner’s mind.  I have found that I have more curiosity towards the practice of meditation than before.  It draws me now.  I have gone from letting it slip away from me to making it a part of me. I plan (uh oh, there’s that word) to continue daily practice and to experiment with different techniques.  I want to read more on the subject to gain new perspectives and to help put words to what I have already found.  Shhh…please don’t tell my monkey mind that he doesn’t get a summer break; he might get a bit upset.

It’s time to enroll in continuing education.  And the best part?  No student loans required for this course!

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Marriage: I Do or I Don’t?

Posted on by stilllearning2b

A Marriage or Husband and Wife tree.

It seems like as a single, divorced person, marriage is always at the periphery of my thoughts.  Not marriage in the white lace and rehearsal dinner sense, but marriage as a public oath, a declaration of loyalty, a legal bond.  Perhaps surprisingly after the catastrophic end of my first marriage, I am not anti-marriage, but nor am I drawn to it.

Perhaps I have always been a bit ambivalent towards the institution of marriage.  Even with my ex-husband, we felt no real rush to marry and felt no differently once we had.  We had already made that commitment (at that time, at least) to each other; a piece of paper and an embossed seal did not amplify nor alter that connection.

After he left, I knew that I wanted to be in a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship again.  That’s in my bones.  I left it open as far as marriage.  I am nowhere near as conflicted on the topic as Elizabeth Gilbert (the author of Eat, Pray, Love) was in her book, Committed, but I still have my questions as to the place of marriage, in my life and in general.

I think that marriage is a necessity for some due to their religious beliefs.  I have had friends who have been deeply conflicted about their relationships due to the fact that they were not sanctioned by the church.  In this case, marriage serves a dual purpose: validating the relationship in the eyes of the church and helping to alleviate the guilt surrounding the relationship.  This criteria does not apply to me, as I have no religious affiliations.

I am unsure about the value of marriage for parents.  Recently, reports have come out stating that 25% of babies are now born to unmarried couples.  This does cause me some concern, as I see students face stigma at school for having ambiguous parental ties and I think that it is important for kids to have some security in their parent’s bond.  However, I fully believe that it is the right of the couple to decide their path and marriage does not offer the kids any security beyond a title.  Again, this reason for marriage does not apply to me, as I choose to remain childless.

Another reason I could see for marriage is if it was important to one partner, for one of the above reasons or for something different.  In that case, the ambiguous partner may have to compromise to fulfill the needs of the other.  Yet again, this does not apply to me.  My boyfriend, who has never been married, does not feel any great urge to do so.

So, here I am, two years into a cohabitating, committed, monogamous relationship.  No church.  No kids.  No ascot-craving partner.  What does marriage mean to me?  If it was a guarantee against heartbreak, I’d walk that aisle today.  If calling him “husband” rather than “boyfriend” meant that he would never lie or stray, I’d sign up today.  If sliding that ring on my finger meant happily ever after, my hand would not be bare.  But, there are no promises that are unbreakable no matter how many witness the oath.  I have no illusion of protection from the dissolution of a partnership.  I know now that certificate can be torn. I find it strange and somewhat funny that I am more certain of my boyfriend’s fidelity and honesty than I was of my husband’s.  That is what is important.

Regardless of the intent, relationships happen on a day by day basis.  And, today, I choose to be with him and I choose to remain unmarried.  And he chooses the same.  As for tomorrow, only time will tell.

How a Date With a Dog Opened my Heart

Posted on by stilllearning2b

When I first started dating again, I was guarded.  I was ready to date rather quickly, but not quite ready to fully trust or to completely open up to another.  I viewed dating as a fun pastime, an opportunity to do things, get to meet new people, and learn more about myself.  I had no expectations, no goals, and no objectives.  I kept myself at a safe distance by telling my story early (just imagine hearing about a bigamist soon-to-be-ex-husband on a first date!) and informing my date that I was planning on moving to Seattle in a few months.  I let myself be attracted, but I kept my heart in reserve, hiding my vulnerabilities and projecting an aura of self-sufficiency.  I didn’t make it easy to get to know me and I was happy that way.

Until I met this guy.

Who could resist this face?

I had gone out with his owner a couple times.  We had an attraction, but I had (foolishly) chosen to focus on another guy over him.  We kept in touch over the next few weeks,  and when he rescued the world’s most adorable pit bull puppy, he sent me a picture of Tiger via email.  I didn’t think I could fall in love with a dog again after the pain of losing mine.  I was wrong.  That little guy (okay, maybe little isn’t quite the right word!) held nothing in reserve when we met.  He greeted me as though I was his long lost buddy.  He didn’t care what baggage I brought or that I was still learning to trust.  He fully accepted me as I was at that moment.  I didn’t have to protect myself or worry about getting hurt.  I didn’t have to consider if he was truthful or hiding ulterior motives.  All things that would go through my mind on a date.

Tiger wormed his way into my heart over the next few weeks.  I found myself softening, trust building both towards the dog and towards his daddy.  I’m not sure I would be where I am today without Tiger; he was my guide back into love.

A more “mature” Tiger