Taming the Monkey Mind: Taking the Monkey for a Ride

Posted on by stilllearning2b

My monkey mind has been unruly of late. It’s been delivering excuses to refrain from sitting quietly faster than McDonald’s serves up burgers. And the excuses are about as palatable.

I could list those excuses, rationalize away my lack of mindfulness. But what’s the point? It’s just noise. Distraction.

I have two friends, sisters, who lost their mother many years ago. Ever since, they have chosen to make Mother’s Day a day of celebrating life. Their venue of choice? Amusement parks. I have been lucky enough to have been included in the tradition.

Every Mother’s Day finds us at the gates of some purveyor of adrenaline – laced fun. Sometimes we stay local, sometimes we travel. Regardless, the goal is the same – a day of riding as many coasters as possible while engaging in great food and better company.

Boy, did I ever need that yesterday.

The coasters forced my monkey into submission. I had no choice but to accept the experience. No choice but to let go. No choice but to be in the moment and enjoy the ride. With my eyes closed, there was no anticipation, just experience.

With each new coaster, I could feel the tension draining from my shoulders and clarity slowly replacing my muddied brain. My breath deepened and my posture straightened. I felt refreshed and relaxed.

For weeks now, meditation has been a chore, something I have to force myself to do. But this morning, my mat is calling to me, inviting. I want to sit. I want to breathe. I want to be.

Sometimes my monkey mind protests too much stillness and too much routine. He needs to feel the air rushing past his face and hear the joyful screams and laughter bursting forth, unrestrained. He needs to have his untamed side acknowledged and celebrated. He needs to let go with no thought of decorum or restraint (well, other than the ones that keep me from falling 200 feet to the ground!).

Sometimes the monkey just needs to ride. Maybe next year I’ll bring my meditation mat and some incense to the park:)

 

Taming the Monkey Mind: Misbehavin’ Monkey

Posted on by stilllearning2b
Monkey riding a dog.
Monkey riding a dog. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My monkey has been misbehaving recently. It snuck up on me; I didn’t even realize it until he threw a tantrum last night. About unfolded clothes and unwashed dishes. Yeah, silly, I know. Talk to the monkey.

Once my monkey mind was talked down from his ledge, exercised, and soothed with incense and a good book, he was finally able to articulate to me what had him so frantic.

Things have been good.

Uhhmmm…what? Why freak out over that?

He explained that he is used to the status quo. Routine. The right amount of activity and rest. Social time and solitude. Mental work and physical effort. In other words, the monkey wants balance.

Makes sense.

We are all so aware of the imbalance and stress in our lives when things are rough. But we often are not as aware of the effect that good events can have on us. Just as when things go wrong, positive events in our lives (new relationships, new jobs or promotions, good news, working for and reaching goals) can also be difficult. It can catch us off guard because we are not anticipating its appearance. We may not find support from others because they simply see us riding high.

The problem is that we can get caught up in the ride and forget that our monkey mind has a bedtime and gets cranky when he’s overstimulated.

My monkey mind and I reached an arrangement. While things are crazy, I will make an effort to carve out even more time for meditation. I will again view runs as time for reflection or socialization instead of simply ticking away the miles until the marathon (3 more weeks!). I will focus more on the awesomeness of the weekends I have coming up rather than worrying about prepping and packing food (sometimes being a gluten free vegetarian just plain stinks!).

And if the dishes are bothering me, I will simply burn incense.

Taming the Monkey Mind – the beginning

 

Taming the Monkey Mind: Taking the Monkey Back to School

Posted on by stilllearning2b
image from backyardfrontline

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but it’s been a bit since my last monkey mind post. This is my confession – I have been neglecting the monkey. Not so much that he has completely wasted away, but I have not paid sufficient attention to my synaptic simian as of late. And he’s starting to protest.

I could give you lots of excuses. Many of them are even valid. I’m 4 weeks into the start of the school year and my time and mental energies are spent lesson planning, grading papers, contacting parents, and sitting in endless meetings. Oh, and teaching. That happens for 5 + hours each day. On top of that, I’m training for my first (and only) marathon. I knew the time commitment ahead of time, but it is really becoming clear now as I spend 10 hours or so a week running and another couple hours stretching and foam rolling. And a few more hours yoga-ing. Then there’s the book – I wasn’t expecting so many people to request it in paper form so I added formatting to my work list the last few weeks. And let’s not forget my other job as a wellness coach. I spend several hours per week researching, writing my newsletter, and working with clients.

So, yeah, I’m busy.  So what?

I made a promise to myself to have balance in my life. For the most part, I have that. I’m happy, fulfilled, and passionate about what I’m doing and who I am with. But I’m still breaking that promise by neglecting my meditation practice. I realized today how much it really comes down to acclimation, commitment, and accountability.

I was sick this weekend and the illness derailed my running plans. I ran an easy 6 miles on Thursday and was planning on doing (a not-so-easy) 20 on Saturday. Instead, today was first run in 4 days. I barely made it 2 miles. How is it that I could have run 6 just a short time ago and today I struggled with 1/3 of it?

Acclimation.  We get used to doing what we do. I’ve moved my 20 miler to this weekend so I need to spend the week getting my body used to running again. Isaac willing.
I have my marathon training schedule posted on a corkboard in front of my computer. Tucked behind it are my hotel reservations for Savannah (where the race will be held). I have a constant visual reminder of my investment, in both time and money, in this race.

I also have a whiteboard calendar next to my desk where I record my daily and weekly mileage totals. It holds me accountable. I can see when I slack.

In contrast, after my initial 30 day challenge, I have made no tangible commitment to mediation. I do not track it or hold myself accountable and I allowed myself to become disacclimated (yeah, I know it’s not a word, but my monkey insisted I use it!). It’s no wonder I’m doing better at running than ohmming.

So, I’m taking my monkey back to meditation 101:

-I’m posting a reminder on my board next to the running schedule.

-I’ll track my practices on my calendar (hmmm…smiley faces don’t seem right, but it needs to be quick to draw).

-I’m restarting my 30 day challenge to re-acclimate.

That’s right, monkey. School’s back in! Hope you’re prepared:)

 

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Embracing the Monkey

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Last Saturday, we took advantage of the annual Brew at the Zoo (a kid-free zoo!) and enjoyed an outing to the local menagerie.  I found myself drawn to the gorillas, who were quietly surveying their domain as they perched atop the hillside.  They seemed unimpressed and undisturbed by the commotion around them.  Their monkey minds appeared calm and peaceful.  Gorilla Zen.

It made me wish I had a different monkey.  My mind is more like the tamarins, running and jumping around their enclosure, chattering their opinions to all who pass by.  I wanted to trade my hyperactive beast for a calmer, more regal one.

English: cropped v of File:Tamarin.monkey.500p...

Luckily, I was at the zoo, surrounded by professional monkey-wranglers.  Little did I know, there was to be a lesson in store.

We made our way to the orangutan exhibit for feeding time.  The keeper was throwing apple slices to each ape in turn.  The guy hanging out in the ditch wanted to make sure he wasn’t forgotten.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I learned that the eldest male had been raised by a researcher and had learned over 200 signs.  He kept signaling “more” to attempt to encourage additional treats to be thrown his way.  His son, a precious little 1 1/2 old, was standing nearby.  The big guy never let him directly catch an apple, but he made sure to feed him bits from his own mouth from time to time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As I watched the alpha male communicate various desires with the handlers, I inquired about the relative intelligence of orangutans and gorillas.  The handler responded with a chuckle, “Oh, the gorillas are smarter, but they’re too lazy to want to learn much.”

Lightbulb moment.

Those placid monkey minds that I was ready to exchange mine for had a downside.  They may be calm, but perhaps they are too calm.  I can call my monkey mind many things, but lazy is not one of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to model my monkey mind after the orangutans.  They were inquisitive, yet not anxious.  They are independent, yet social.  They are intelligent, yet playful.  So, maybe they are not as Zenlike as the gorillas,  but they fully embrace their nature.

It’s time for me to embrace my monkey mind too.  Even if he won’t stand still.

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Taming the Monkey Mind: My Monkey’s Flinging Poo

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Yesterday was a frustrating day at work.  We had to cancel a fun activity for the kids at the last minute due to weather.  Now, I am sure this will come as a complete and utter shock to you, but middle school students do not react well to change.  Especially change that requires they attend classes they thought they were going to miss.  They were upset and they were not afraid to share it.  All day long there was a negative undertone as the kids dealt with their frustrations by grumbling about how unfair it was and the teachers dealt with their frustrations by complaining about the kids.  It was a fruitless and circuitous endeavor that felt impossible to halt.  One thousand eighth graders are a formidable force.  Especially in May.

My monkey mind did not respond well to the negative energy.  Instead of relying upon his prior lessons in mindfulness and breath, he began to run around his cage, shaking the bars, and flinging poo at all who dared approach.  It wasn’t pretty.  I tried to meditate to soothe the agitated monkey mind before I took him out for a planned meeting with friends.  He just pointed and laughed at me.  Apparently this would require a tool of a different sort.

I attended the gathering and had a wonderful time. The monkey was distracted by all of the conversation and he behaved relatively well.  No poo was flung, much to the appreciation of all in attendance.

Although my monkey mind had been somewhat calmed, his agitation was still simmering just beneath the surface.  As mediation had proven itself unable to handle the task yesterday, I decided to try to pacify my monkey with sprints.  As I ran those 100 yards full-out, my monkey mind was silenced, holding on for dear life and unable to screech his disapproval.  They were mini-meditations in intervals.  All I could think about was that moment.  That breath.  That step.  The frustrations and negativity floated away like the dust kicked up from under my feet.  It was a great big cleansing breath for the soul.  And a reminder for my monkey mind that it’s not nice to throw poo.

Female Jogger on Coleman Avenue in Morro Bay, CA