Deja Vu Yet New

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Planning a second wedding is quite strange. It’s like walking a familiar road after being absent from a city for decades – you think you know the sites and the layout but nothing is as it was.

I don’t want to think about the first time, endlessly reflecting on how it was done before. But I do, if only to make sure I do it differently now. The basic structure of the wedding is the same: private ceremony followed by celebratory dinner with loved ones. But the details are intentionally altered. My first wedding was on a beach; this one is in the mountains. The first date was in the winter and this one is in the fall. My first dress had straps and my hair was up. Now? Strapless and hair down and loose. A Thai restaurant is replacing the Italian that served the first dinner.

There is an unplanned difference between the celebrations that struck me yesterday as I was working on the guest email list (That’s right, wedding Evites. Don’t tell Ms. Manners). There is a good chance that my dad will be the only guest present at both. As far as my family, we’re small and spread throughout the country. My mom will actually be in Italy at that time (don’t feel guilty mom -go and enjoy yourself!) and I don’t think any other family will travel. I got married the first time only 6 months after moving to Atlanta. So, the friends at our celebration were coworkers that we had at the time since we had not yet developed any meaningful relationships in the new city and our friends from Texas could not make the trip.

This time around, the friend list is long and rich with history and meaning. I have friends that have known me through my entire marriage, supported me through the divorce and have seen me blossom again. I have others that have only known me after. Brock has friends that never thought they would see him marry until they saw us together and said they knew. Even the restaurant has personal ties, as they know us well, saw the evolution of our relationship and have hosted many a gathering for Brock’s martial arts students. We will be surrounded by our community as we celebrate. That feels good.

Having friends around means I also have a shower this time through. Something I’ve never had. The hostess texted me yesterday and asked me to pick a theme: kitchen, wine, bathroom, lingerie or camping. I had to smile at the last one. She is very much a city gal so I knew she threw that in for me even though it pained her:) I chose lingerie since it’s something I never buy for myself and I left all my collection behind in my old life. Plus, sometimes it’s nice not to be practical:)

It’s crazy that, even as I’m about to move on from the past in the biggest way possible, the past still follows behind, tapping me on the shoulder occasionally just to remind me it’s there.  But even though it’s sometimes strange, I’m okay with my awareness of the past. I’m not trying to run away from it or bury it where it can’t be seen. I’m hopeful that now that the planning is done (yippee!), the past will take a polite step back and maybe not follow so closely.

 

Related: Why I’m scared of 22 year old dress consultants – Say Stress to the Dress

 

Two Ladies Going to Verona (In Honor of Mother’s Day)

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It was a happy accident.  My mom was talking about how she met the goal of improving her blood work (cholesterol, glucose, etc.) and needed a new motivation to continue to eat right and exercise.  I was feeling the travel bug biting hard and my unused passport in my maiden name was growing restless.  And, somehow, some way, the topic of Italy came up.

She mentioned that it was her dream destination.  The top contender on the bucket list.  I casually mentioned, “Why don’t we do it together.”  I heard her face light up over the phone.  She grew excited.  Giddy.  We only had a few minutes until I had to go, so we quickly talked through some basics.  I had made the trip to Italy once before with a high school group, so I had some idea of what I wanted to do on this trip.  I thought of the places I had gone and what I wanted to share with her. I took off like a rocket.

Rome, of course.  The history there.  Piazza Navona and that little gelato place.  Vatican museum.  That place was amazing.  Famous artwork even lined the hallways to the bathrooms.  All those cathedrals.  The Coliseum.  I wonder if it’s still full of cats?  The Pantheon.  That one caught me by surprise.  The beauty and unexpected joy of the rain pouring through the occulus.   Florence.  The Uffizi Gallery.  Oh my god, those statues were amazing.  Pompeii.  I still dream of that place.  Inspiring and haunting all at once.  All the images came tumbling back.

I never made it north of Florence.  She began to speak wistfully of Venice and the lake country.  We would have to include those, as well.

When?  We set a date.  Summer of 2013.

All of this occurred in under 20 minutes.  A trip sketched out.  A dream laid.

Good thing I tossed a coin in here 20 years ago!

I had a busy evening with friends that night.  She had a busy evening too; purchasing travel and Italy apps, buying books, and beginning research.  I could tell she was thrilled.  Even better, I could tell she was motivated to stay healthy to be able to handle the rigors of Italy.  I am excited to be able to do this trip together: mother and daughter.  We will have our challenges, but they are known ones and mainly due to our different paces.  It’s a good thing that I have mellowed somewhat and that my Vibram running shoes pack down small:)  I am looking forward to showing her the sights that made such an impact on me 20 years ago and seeing the look on her face as she visits the locals of her dreams.

This was just a few short weeks ago.  Since then, she has mapped out the itinerary and started researching hostels.  I have begun the process of figuring out how to feed myself while there (luckily, it looks like gluten free will be easy, but I remember them all too clearly calling me a “sadomasochist” for being vegetarian when I was a teenager).  I’ve been inundated with Italy-themed emails and the first “mom” package of books has arrived.  I love it.  I get to see my mom excited and, for me, I get to obtain the first stamp on the passport of my new life.

Look out Verona, these two ladies are coming your way!

Gear Check

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I had some shopping to do yesterday.  I had credits and coupons for Sports Authority and REI and I intended to put them to good use in preparation of upcoming adventures.

The sporting goods store was the first on my list.  I have signed up for my first marathon in November and I had two items in mind to help me prepare.  First, I needed a new pair of shoes.  I have been loyal to Mizuno Waveriders since I first started running almost 5 years ago (yiks!  has it really been so long?).  I usually stock up on the retiring model through online retailers as they are clearing inventory to make room for the newest model.  I have never had trouble with this strategy until now.  Apparently, they redesigned the toebox (or my toes have grown?) because the shoes now cause my toes and forefeet to go numb on long runs regardless of the lacing.  Obviously, that is a serious liability in a pair of shoes that will have have to make it 26.2 miles (which BTW is about 4 times the distance of the height of an average airliner).  Now, I know I have waxed poetically about my Vibrams, but they are just a too minimal for that much use.  I found a happy medium between the two: Saucony Kinvara.  It was love at first step.  I’ve done about 10 miles in them already and I love the combination of squish and weightless flexibility.  Can you tell which shoes are the new ones?

evolution of the shoe

I also needed to pick up a new running shirt.  I have a thin compression heatware Underarmor shirt that has seen me though all of my warm weather races.  I love that shirt; it has served me well.  Its light grey fabric is stained from the Georgia red clay that coats me in adventure races (I call that orange sheen my “red badge of courage”) and has holes all along the front from the pins that affix my race numbers.  Brightroom Photography can probably recognize me by that shirt alone.  The shirt has one shortcoming for this race; however, it is too short and rides above my water belt.  This is also the case with all my other warm weather shirts.  As a result, when I need to carry water in the summer, I tend to end up with a permanent abrasion around my hips from the rubbing of the belt.  Not really the best look for bikini season.  So, I picked up an ultralight tank that is long enough to stay under the belt.  Now if I could just figure out a way to carry water that doesn’t make me feel like I’m waddling with saline implants on my hips…

 

After an afternoon run (come on now, you didn’t think I would be patient to check out the new gear, did you?), I proceeded on to REI to see what I could find for my Italy trip.  Yeah, that’s right.  The trip scheduled for summer 2013.  What? Too soon?  I told you I was a planner.  Besides, my mom was starting to get a head start on acquiring needed items for the trip and I can’t let that happen now, can I?  I do have a semi-reasonable justification if it will make you feel better:  I can test the items in the heat of this summer to make sure that they are worthy of a transcontinental journey.  There, better now?

So, I decided to get this perfect travel skirt.  It’s long enough to meet Italy’s modesty requirements (especially needed with all of the museums and cathedrals I know we will be visiting), yet is made of high tech fabric that will dry quickly.

I also fell in love with a pair of Jambu shoes that seemed perfect for navigating the uneven walkways of Italy, but couldn’t stomach the $100 price tag.  Which leads to the final leg of the shopping trip…

When I got back home, I logged on to Sierra Trading Post and promptly located the same shoes for $40 after a variety of discounts.  I also tossed in a pair of shorts, another skirt, and two tops. All this begs the question:

Is it too early to pack?

 

 

Related articles

Two Ladies Going to Verona

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It was a happy accident.  My mom was talking about how she met the goal of improving her blood work (cholesterol, glucose, etc.) and needed a new motivation to continue to eat right and exercise.  I was feeling the travel bug biting hard and my unused passport in my maiden name was growing restless.  And, somehow, some way, the topic of Italy came up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She mentioned that it was her dream destination.  The top contender on the bucket list.  I casually mentioned, “Why don’t we do it together.”  I heard her face light up over the phone.  She grew excited.  Giddy.  We only had a few minutes until I had to go, so we quickly talked through some basics.  I had made the trip to Italy once before with a high school group, so I had some idea of what I wanted to do on this trip.  I thought of the places I had gone and what I wanted to share with her. I took off like a rocket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rome, of course.  The history there.  Piazza Navona and that little gelato place.  Vatican museum.  That place was amazing.  Famous artwork even lined the hallways to the bathrooms.  All those cathedrals.  The Coliseum.  I wonder if it’s still full of cats?  The Pantheon.  That one caught me by surprise.  The beauty and unexpected joy of the rain pouring through the occulus.   Florence.  The Uffizi Gallery.  Oh my god, those statues were amazing.  Pompeii.  I still dream of that place.  Inspiring and haunting all at once.  All the images came tumbling back.

I never made it north of Florence.  She began to speak wistfully of Venice and the lake country.  We would have to include those, as well.

When?  We set a date.  Summer of 2013.

All of this occurred in under 20 minutes.  A trip sketched out.  A dream laid.

Good thing I tossed a coin in here 20 years ago!

I had a busy evening with friends that night.  She had a busy evening too; purchasing travel and Italy apps, buying books, and beginning research.  I could tell she was thrilled.  Even better, I could tell she was motivated to stay healthy to be able to handle the rigors of Italy.  I am excited to be able to do this trip together: mother and daughter.  We will have our challenges, but they are known ones and mainly due to our different paces.  It’s a good thing that I have mellowed somewhat and that my Vibram running shoes pack down small:)  I am looking forward to showing her the sights that made such an impact on me 20 years ago and seeing the look on her face as she visits the locals of her dreams.

This was just a few short weeks ago.  Since then, she has mapped out the itinerary and started researching hostels.  I have begun the process of figuring out how to feed myself while there (luckily, it looks like gluten free will be easy, but I remember them all too clearly calling me a “sadomasochist” for being vegetarian when I was a teenager).  I’ve been inundated with Italy-themed emails and the first “mom” package of books has arrived.  I love it.  I get to see my mom excited and, for me, I get to obtain the first stamp on the passport of my new life.

Look out Verona, these two ladies are coming your way!

I May Be a Vegetarian, But I Can Still Spell “Chicken”

Posted on by stilllearning2b
A diet rich in soy and whey protein, found in ...
Image via Wikipedia

I am consistently surprised at the reaction I receive when people discover that I am a vegetarian.  To me, it is not a big deal.  I simply do not eat meat. and haven’t for the past 20 years.  In that time, I have witnessed vegetarianism go from fringe (I was called a sadomasochist is Italy) to mainstream (I see relevant articles and recipes weekly).  But still, most folks seem shocked that I don’t eat meat.

There are three questions that usually follow my pronouncement of flesh avoidance:

1) “Oh, I could never give up meat.  How do you do it?”  

For me, I never liked meat.  It is probably a texture issue.  I remember slathering my tiny chunks of very well-cooked steak in Thousand Island just to choke them down.  I know that is not the norm.  I don’t ask anyone to give up meat, but I would encourage people to make it less of a focus.  Try eating a vegetarian dinner once a week or making the meat the side rather than the main dish.  I view vegetarianism as a continuum, with vegans (no animal products at all) on one side and bacon-loving Atkins devotees on the other.   Most of us exist somewhere in the middle, with the majority of Americans leaning towards the carnivorous side.  There are a myriad of benefits (health, financial, and ecological) to sliding more towards the vegetarian side.  If you do not think in terms of absolutes, it is an easy shift.

2) “How do you get your protein?”

This question always makes me giggle when it is delivered in person, as I carry quite a bit on muscle on my frame.  It’s not just me.  Tony Gonzalez, a tight end for the NFL, proves that you can be big, strong, and fast while eating a vegan diet.  I’ll be honest, I do have to put some thought into protein to make sure I get enough at each meal, but it is not difficult to obtain.  My primary sources of this macronutrient are beans, nuts and seeds, tofu and tempeh, whey protein powder, Greek yogurt, and egg whites (as you can tell, I am not vegan).  Even the small amounts of protein found in vegetables really add up once you start ingesting larger quantities of them.  I also get asked about protein combining, as most plant foods taken alone do not contain all of the essential amino acids.  Research has found, and my body seems to agree, that this is not even worth worrying about as long as the diet is varied.

English: Tony Gonzalez, tight end for the Kans...
Image via Wikipedia

3) “Is your husband/boyfriend vegetarian?”

Nope.  Neither my ex-husband nor my current partner are vegetarians.  It just means that I have gotten used to not looking at the plates of my dining companions and sometimes I request that the toothbrush is paid a visit before a kiss.  Oh, and even though I do the grocery shopping, he has to buy his own meat.

I fully believe that what we choose to eat is a personal choice.  Just as I would not want anyone to hogtie me and force me to eat a chicken wing, I am not going to push my choices on others.  I do see myself in a role to help educate people about the benefits of eating a more plant-based diet and helping them overcome any barriers they perceive in shifting towards the herbaceous side of the continuum.   I don’t see it as “us vs. them,” like many people on the message boards seem to.  After all, I can spell “chicken,” even if I can’t cook it.

If you’re interested: a plant-based diet for beginners.