I’m Not Going to Change Your Mind

So often we approach a conversation with the intention of trying to change somebody’s mind. We prepare to argue, to fight. To prove that we are right and, by extension, they are wrong. What if instead, we approached with the intention of opening somebody’s mind? Of offering a different perspective. Adding to the dialog insteadContinue reading “I’m Not Going to Change Your Mind”

Why the First Reaction Is Often Not The Real Reaction

“What am I going to tell my mom?” were the first, shameful words out of my mouth when I learned my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was pregnant. I was 14. He was 16. We had only been dating a few weeks. I was still years away from being ready to be sexually active. He welcomed that becauseContinue reading “Why the First Reaction Is Often Not The Real Reaction”

How to Supercharge Your “I” Statements

As the child of a marriage and family therapist, I think my first complete sentences came in the form of “I” statements, a conversation tactic often recommended by counselors to express your needs without attacking or blaming the other person. For example, “I feel frustrated when you leave your socks on the floor. I wouldContinue reading “How to Supercharge Your “I” Statements”

Use Your Words

I like to read advice columns and forums where people seek guidance and direction. It’s interesting to find where people struggle and comforting to find the universal life themes interwoven in many of the dilemmas. But there is one common theme I don’t quite understand – asking a stranger a question that you really need toContinue reading “Use Your Words”