He May be a Character, but I Narrate the Story

Posted on by stilllearning2b
books
books (Photo credit: bitmask)

This one mental shift helped me let go of some of the anger I was holding towards my ex-husband.

Initially, I viewed both of us as characters in some twisted romance turned psychological drama.  He, of course, was the antagonist, performing all sorts of unspeakable acts towards me.  I was fearful of turning each page, afraid of what horrors would await me.  I felt powerless, victimized.

Then I realized, although I may not have the power to write my story, I can shift into the position of the narrator, while still remaining in the story.  As the narrator, I have the ability to interpret his actions, guide the story, and shift the focus.  I could not control the actions of the antagonist, but I could surely control how I wove them into the story.  This guise also allows me to step back from the action, gaining perspective and a broader view.

He will always be a character in my story, but as my own narrator, I choose to make him a minor one.

Detox Your Mind in 5-Minutes: The Power of Quantum Cleansing

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Since the divorce, I feel like I’ve done a better job of living with macro-mindfulness; I no longer live my life on autopilot.  I still have room (a LOT of room!) for improvement in the area of micro-mindfulness, being present in the smaller moments.  This is especially true for me at work, where it is so easy to get swept up in the frenetic pace of a middle school.  I’m going to see if I can find a way to sneak in a version of the technique below at least a couple times throughout the day.  Maybe a placard on my desk that reads, “Don’t bother the teacher; she is re-centering and will be back with you shortly” ?

Detox Your Mind in 5-Minutes: The Power of Quantum Cleansing.

Confidence Run

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It’s been awhile since I’ve run a double-digit distance.  Today,I decided to tackle 10 miles, mainly to try to convince the naysayers living in my head that I was not totally crazy to sign up for a marathon this fall.  I have noticed that when I slack off of running, I start to get fearful that I will be able to do it again.  I find the best remedy for this negativity is to run.  Not elegant, but it works.

During today’s run, two of the three members of the running triumvirate decided to show: lungs and mind were present and accounted for.  Unfortunately, my lower legs and feet did not get the memo.  I blame this on two things.  First, I missed my normal yoga class this week and the DYI variety just does not seem to stretch me as deep or as long.  Secondly, apart from running shoes, I am very frugal with my footwear.  Considering I stand for 7-9 hours a day on concrete floors, this is not necessarily a good trait to have.  I am making a public vow to get a couple of decent pairs of work shoes over spring break and try to replace them before the end of the next decade.

Overall, it was a good run.  I kept a respectable sub 7:30 pace and the heat didn’t bother me too much (I thank the hot power yoga for that).  Still, it is a little daunting that I’ll have to run over 2 1/2 times that distance soon.  Yikes.  Best not to think about it too much, especially while I’m resting my achy feet!

On the Menu: Cancer-Fighting Tacos, Black Beans Plus, and Banana Chocolate Chip Chia Pudding

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I have today off (yippee!), so I am doing my cooking today.  I started off this morning with a doctor’s appointment.  It went really well.  She was the one who took care of me at my lowest (emotionally and physically, as I lost 20 lbs after he left).  It was great to see her and she enjoyed seeing me healthy and happy.  Now that I’m back to fighting weight, let’s get to the menu!

Soft Tacos With Mushrooms, Cabbage and Chipotle Ranchero Salsa

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My main dish this week consists of these unique tacos from The New York Times.  I love their flavor, ease of cooking, and low calorie stats.  I have never bothered to make the salsa; I simply stir a little Tabasco Chipotle Sauce into my normal, cheap, industrial size salsa.  The queso fresca is so delightfully salty and tangy that I never feel the need to add any additional salt.

Black Beans Plus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wanted some extra protein as well as some red veggies for the week.  I began by lightly sauteing red bell peppers, onion, and a little garlic in olive oil.  I then added some black pepper and chipotle seasoning from Penzey’s Spices.  Next, I stirred in 2 cans of black beans (drained) and simmered gently to let the flavors mingle.  Finally, I topped it with some freshly squeezed lime juice and some tomato slices.

Banana Chocolate Chip Chia Pudding

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One of my boyfriend’s favorite local restaurants is known for their banana chocolate chip pudding.  Their version is decadent.  Mine is not, but it still tastes pretty darn amazing.  I mixed the following in the blender: 1 ripe banana, 2 cups unsweetened vanilla almond milk, 2 scoops vanilla protein powder, 1 tsp vanilla, and a dash of cinnamon.  I pored this into a bowl and added 1/3 cup chia seeds and 1/3 cup mini dark chocolate chips.  Leave out for 1 hour, stirring frequently.  Transfer to fridge.  It will set in a few hours.  Top with additional chocolate chips to serve.

I had some of the taco filling left over, so it became my lunch:)  I kept myself away from the pudding though…

 

 

Wisdom From Grandma’s Fridge

Posted on by stilllearning2b

My grandmother loves pictures. Her entire house is a scrapbook, a display of photographs spanning decades, cataloging the lives of those she loves.  Her fridge is the ever-changing display of the pictures she wants to look at most.  I don’t get to grandma’s nearly as often as I would like, but when I do, I always look at the pictures on the fridge to quickly catch up.

It has been interesting to see my own picture evolve over the years, especially the ones taken with others.  When I was a child, many of my pictures contained one or both of my parents or one of my grandparents.  Later, many of them featured my cousins.  In my latter teenage years, my ex began to enter the pictures.  I remember two of her fridge in particular: one taken in the airport when we were departing from a trip to visit my grandmother and another from when I was awarded teacher of the year.

When he left, obviously those pictures had to be replaced.

The first replacement was taken with the police officer who arrested my ex-husband.  It was somewhat surreal to see that photo surrounded by pictures of family.  But that man became family of a sort that summer, as he looked out for me  as family would.  This picture was taken less than two weeks after he left.  My ex was in jail at the time of the photo.

The next replacement was a picture taken with my current partner (at a baseball game, one of my new passions) after we had only been seeing each other a few weeks.

“Grandma, I exclaimed!,” shocked at seeing his face up there so soon. “It has only been a few weeks; isn’t it kind of soon to have his picture up.”

“It’s not like it’s up there with glue,” she calmly replied with a sly smile.

That day I received a bit of Zen wisdom from my grandmother and her fridge.  Nothing is permanent; everything will change.

I am happy to report that almost four years later, the picture has been replaced, but the man in it has not.