Psychology May be a Soft Science, But She Drives a Hard Bargain
I used to think that I could reason my way through anything. I viewed psychology and the other soft sciences with derision, much preferring the absolutes of the harder sciences and mathematics. I thought I could if-then my way through anything, repair any damage with deduction, and apply analytical reasoning to solve any dilemma.
I was wrong.
Psychology may be a soft science, but she drives a hard bargain. She lets her influence be felt, even if her presence is ignored or denied. We can try to avoid her, turning our minds away, but she is still there. Influencing our thoughts, driving our behaviors, pressing on our insecurities. We can pretend as though we are strong enough to not feel her sway, but it is an illusion. In fact, the more she is ignored, the more powerful she becomes. She has the power to destroy, to eat from the inside out. It is best to befriend her, to listen to her and try to understand. Accept her ways and feel her influence. Allow her intuition to soften deduction. Embrace the feelings she shares with your analytical mind. Welcome her and she will only make you stronger, reinforcing reasoning with her gentle touch.
Psychology may drive a hard bargain, but it’s a bargain you’ll want to take.
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5 Tips for Dealing with a Down Day
It is good to remember that mood ebbs and flows and that we will all have days where we are feeling down. This article came at a perfect time for me today, as I am feeling a bit blue for no apparent reason (although I suspect lack of sleep is a culprit). I’ve spent the morning adding to the problem, berating myself to snap out of it and embrace the day. I am going to take some of the advice below and head out for a nice long run and accept my mood as it is, letting expectations slide away with the sweat.
5 Tips for Dealing with a Down Day.
Lessons From the Dojo
My boyfriend, a martial artist, posted this on his Facebook the other day:
BJJ (Brazilian Ju Jitsu) has taught me something very valuable lately about life. If you do not like the position that you are in then MOVE YOU and stop trying to move your opponent. You can not deal with that lock or choke by pushing your opponent away. You have to get your *** out of the way.
So, if you are not happy with your life then change what you are doing and stop worrying about changing what others in your life are doing to you. Only you can decide what your life will be.
My teacher was the end of my marriage; his is the mat. But, many of the lessons are the same.
These lessons are everywhere if we are willing to see them with open eyes, approach them with an open mind, and embrace them with an open heart.
You Make Me Happy
You make me happy. I used to say those words to my husband on a frequent basis. At that time, if you had asked me what I meant by those four words, I would would have replied that I was saying that I loved him and that I was happy being with him. I meant those words as a compliment, an endearment, an expression of love.
I don’t use those words anymore.
Let me be clear, I am very happy in my current relationship. But he doesn’t make me happy; rather, I am happy with him. Slight change in words, but a huge shift in meaning.
I began to realize that by telling him that he made me happy, I was putting all of the responsibility for my own well-being on his shoulders. That is a huge burden to carry and one that was unfair to him. I had given him the power to make me happy. Which means he also had the power to make me unhappy.
If I had left that power in his hands, he would have packed up my happiness with the rest of his belongings when he walked out the door. I snatched it back from him, determined to find a way to regain ownership of my well-being.
I now take responsibility for my own happiness. I can choose how I respond and how I approach. I can choose to be happy with or happy in spite of. That is my responsibility.
But, coffee still makes me happy:)
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 