Been Rejected? 6 Reasons It May NOT Be About You

Posted on by stilllearning2b
rejected

There’s no sugar coating it. Being rejected by a romantic partner sucks.

It stings when it’s a potential match on a dating site that doesn’t return your message. The rejection hurts when it comes from someone you’ve been dating for awhile. And it’s utterly devastating when that rejection originates from the person who vowed to love you forever.

One of the reasons that romantic rejection is so painful across the board is that we have a tendency to personalize it. To interpret the message, “I don’t want to be with you” as some version of “You’re a worthless and/or terrible person.” We then often follow that up with some lovely generalization – “Since this person doesn’t love me, nobody will love me.” And then our brains, happy to play along, begin to offer up endless examples and evidence to support these conclusions.

Ugh.

No wonder rejection sucks so badly.

It is so difficult to see a recent relationship and its demise with any sort of clarity. This is doubly true when there is rejection and an unwanted ending. But before you punish yourself for your shortcomings or allow yourself to wallow in a pit of self-pity, consider these possible reasons for the rejection that have little to do with your worth as a person and as a partner.

 

1 – You’re Not What They’re Looking For

Perhaps the easiest situation to face is when you’re rejected before the relationship has an opportunity to develop. At this early juncture, they are not really rejecting you because they do not yet know you.

Furthermore, no matter how utterly amazing you are, you’re not going to be the right kind of amazing for every person.

And that’s okay.

Scratch that. That’s MORE than okay. Because if you’re the type of person who is pleasing to everyone, it means that you’re not being true to yourself. And that’s a hell of lot more important than getting a follow-up text after a first date.

Sometimes this rejection happens after some time has passed. Like when you’re putting a puzzle together and you wedge a piece into place until eventually, you’re forced to admit that it doesn’t fit.

This type of rejection really is a blessing. You’re not wasting time on a person that isn’t a good match for you.

 

2 – They Are Unhappy With Themselves

Buckle up.

This is a biggie.

And so very common with people that end up cheating on their partners. Which, of course, brings with it a hefty serving of rejection.

When people are not in touch with their emotions, they become aware of their unhappiness, but they struggle to pinpoint its cause. And since it’s uncomfortable to look within and take responsibility for their own state of mind, they look to external causes.

So, tag. You’re it.

Sometimes this manifests as projection, as they paint you with everything they are struggling with themselves. Other times it may be more complex – depression, anxiety or addiction causing them to retreat. And then as the relationship suffers from a lack of attention, they blame you for being the wrong person.

This type of rejection is especially painful. At some level, you release that it’s pointless. That their snipe hunt for happiness won’t take them anywhere worth going. At the same time, it’s frustrating because you want to help them and once you’ve been rejected, you lose any influence you once had.

The biggest lesson here is not to take on their unhappiness. That is not your burden to bear. You cannot help them, so focus on your own recovery.

 

3 – They’re Bored

When we’re kids, we build up the idea of adulthood – “I’m going to stay up all night, eat junk food whenever I want and I’m going to become a [fill-in-the-blank with some high-impact, low imagined stress, big bucks kind of career].”

And then at some point in adulthood, we’re left thinking, “Is this all there is?”

Because no matter what we have going on, we are all creatures of habit. And habits inevitably become boring.

So sometimes you’re rejected because your partner has become bored. Restless. They want to throw everything out and start fresh.

Which I think is an urge we can all relate to on some level. Yet we don’t all indulge it in a reckless and selfish way.

This type of rejection really is about them. They’re not willing or able to engage with you as a team to explore how to bring more excitement into your lives. Instead, they’re taking the nuclear option and you’re in the blast zone.

Use this (unwanted but gifted) opportunity to shake up your own life. Besides, getting out of your comfort zone is a great way to rebuild your confidence after you’ve been rejected.

 

4 – Your Paths Have Diverged

How many of your friends from middle school are you still in touch with? And those that you no longer see, is that because they’re miserable people? Or unlovable?

Or simply becomes you’ve moved on in different directions?

Of course, it is infinitely more painful when your partner’s path diverges from yours. But it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

From What Makes a Marriage Successful:

I’ve always found it funny/sad how we classify marital success purely by its duration. I mean, imagine if we applied this same metric to other areas of our lives –

She was a really great student – she was in school for fifty years!

He was an amazing dog, but he was a failure as a pet because he died before he turned ten.

It was a wonderful dinner. The service was so slow that the meal lasted for hours!

I’m afraid I have to give the book only one star because it ended.

Pretty crazy, huh?

So why do we then so easily apply this faulty logic to marriages? Classifying them as failures if they end and successes if they persist?

 

This type of rejection is a loss, a mourning. Yet it may also be the right – and brave – call to make. Sometimes it’s best to finish the meal before it spoils and hold the experience in memory.

 

5 – They Are Attempting to Avoid the Work of Relationships

When the honeymoon period ends, the real relationship begins.

ALL relationships of any duration and authenticity require effort. Sacrifice. Compromise and communication.

And some people are just lazy. Or deluded.

So when a relationship hits that first gravel road of reality after the open highway, they decide that a new ride will smooth everything over.

This type of rejection is a reality-check. You deserve someone who will fight with you when life becomes tough. Instead, you’ve learned how they “handle” problems.

Your lesson here? Pay close attention with your next relationship. Look for courage, persistence and a good grounding in reality. You want the iron horse that can go the distance, not the shiny trinket that will soon tarnish.

 

6 – They’re Experiencing Shame

Shame says, “If you see me. Really see me. You won’t love me.”

And so when someone is in the depths of shame, they often reject others who get too close out of a fear of being seen – and rejected – themselves.

This rejection is tragic. They’re setting you out at the very time they need support and love the most. Yet the more you push for them to open up, the tighter they coil around themselves.

This is an opening that can only be done on their schedule. And by rejecting you, they’ve told you not to put your life on hold while they try to sort theirs out.

Depending upon the circumstances, you may be receptive to a reunion down the road if they do their own healing work. Or, you may decide that it’s too painful and you need to move on. Both are okay.

It is not your job to fix them. That’s the enduring lesson here. Oxygen mask and all that jazz.

 

You’ve been rejected.

It hurts.

It’s confusing.

And it’s scary being alone.

And yes, there may be some painful truths in the rejection that you need to accept. At the same time, don’t be so quick to assume all culpability. More often than not, the reality is somewhere in the middle.

 

I want to leave you with this, the mantra that I recited to myself every night after my husband abandoned me –

Never allow one person to determine your worth.

They may have rejected you. Don’t make the mistake of rejecting yourself.

 

Want more? Just Because it Happened TO You, Does Not Mean it Happened BECAUSE of You

Pep Talk

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I’m feeling anxious today.

But before I get to that, I have to share with you a few pictures from my spring break this year. It was the inaugural trip with a dear friend of mine (even though I lived with her for the better part of year after my divorce, we have never had the opportunity to travel together).

Since she has had a HARD couple of years and has an elementary-aged daughter that keeps her busy, I gave her the choice of locations. After giving up on the Everglades for being too far, we settled on the Okefenokee Swamp. Which, as it turns out, is absolutely stunning, especially before the heat has settled in.

It was an amazing trip. The best part was simply the time with my friend to decompress and catch up with no external pressures.

The swamp was amazing, but I think my favorite times were evening nibbles out on the dock outside of our cabin (Seriously, this cabin was amazing. Hit me up if you need a place to stay near Valdosta, Georgia and I’ll put you in touch).

On one of those meandering conversations, my friend mentioned that my ex-husband’s picture appeared on her “suggested friends” list on Facebook. It wasn’t his profile, rather he was pictured with a woman that Facebook decided my friend might know.

Let me explain why this is unsettling. At the time of the divorce, I had no social media and neither, as far as I know, did my ex-husband (or, if he did, it was under some other identity). I have never befriended anybody from his life on social media and in almost ten years, I have never had that world intrude on mine.

However, since there apparently must be some connection between my ex’s current female companion (which was NOT the other wife, according to my friend) and my close friend, there are now fewer than seven degrees of separation between us.

Ugh.

I don’t like the feeling of that. And, perhaps most unsettling, it’s made me tempted to look him up for the first time in over nine years. I won’t give into the urge, but I really, really, really don’t like that I’m feeling it. (And as an aside, I feel for the other woman; I hope she’s okay.)

But that’s still not the root of the anxiety.

In a few hours, I’m heading into town to go to a beer festival.

Sounds fun, right?

Well, it should be. But I’m also anxious that I’m going to run into him.

The last time I spoke with him was almost ten years ago. The last time I saw him was just under six. At a festival. In town. Here’s my post about the experience and here’s my reaction once the shock had faded.

My reaction surprised me. Scratch that. The sheer intensity of my reaction scared me.

And so with him more on mind than I’d like and heading into a similar situation, I’m afraid that I may see him again. Actually, I’m afraid of my reaction if I see him again.

I like to think I’ve moved on. That he doesn’t impact me anymore. And for the most part, that’s true. But if I see him, I may just find out otherwise – that there is still trauma in my body waiting to be released.

So I’m anxious.

And giving myself a pep talk –

“It’s okay if you see him. It does not change anything. Even if he is in town, he is not in your life. You have no connections with him anymore; he cannot hurt you. Those reactions you’re having are not due to him in the present, they are simply aftershocks from the earthquake so long ago. You are stronger now then you were then. Wiser. And you know that this will fade. Keep breathing. You got this.”

Critical Signs That Your Emotional Walls Are Too High

Posted on by stilllearning2b
emotional walls

After experiencing heartbreak, it’s natural to take a protective stance, to build emotional walls in an attempt to head off any additional pain and loss. These precautionary barricades serve an important purpose at first, as they help to shield us from additional assaults while we’re still tending to the wounds that require immediate attention and we are too fragile to withstand any further insults.

Yet left unchecked, these emotional walls that were initially constructed to provide security inadvertently become our own self-built prison. The possibility of connection exchanged for an illusion of safety. Left too long or built too high, we languish behind those emotional walls. Reassuring ourselves that at least we won’t get hurt again while at the same time allowing loneliness to slowly infect from within.

It’s difficult to accept that we’ve inadvertently walled ourselves in, depriving ourselves of the very things that nourish a heart and soul. It can be downright terrifying to take the risk to open up and again be vulnerable when the memory of the pain is still screaming in your ear.

Yet often the best places can only be reached by taking a leap of faith.

 

The following are signs that your emotional walls may be too high:

 

You Panic When You Become Vulnerable

It’s often referred to as flooding – that physical sense of overwhelming emotion. Your stomach churns. The blood rushes. And you’re filled with either an immediate need to escape or a total and complete shut-down.

This fight-or-flight reaction is completely normal when you’re in actual danger. However, when the response is this intense just because somebody saw through your defense, it’s an indicator that your emotional walls are too impenetrable.

Pay attention to those physical signs. Are they appropriate for the situation or are they an overreaction? If you find that you frequently panic or flood when emotions are present, it may be a sign that it’s time to learn how to live with these emotions (instead of simply trying to keep them at bay).

 

You Cut People Out As Soon As They Get Too Close

In general, there is an emotional dance that happens as you get to know somebody. Over time, the boundaries are renegotiated as trust is built and further access is allowed.

When the emotional walls are too high, this dance becomes interrupted as soon as the hidden tripwire is activated. And once this alarm sounds, the perceived interloper is immediately removed from the premises. Often for good.

There are certainly times when it is completely appropriate and healthy to remove somebody from your life. But if you have a history of cutting people out of your life, it may be a sign that you are afraid of letting them in. Examine your reasons for eliminating others from your life. Are they justified, or do they come down to excuses?

 

You Continually Choose Unavailable Partners

Do you know the best part about choosing unavailable partners? You always have a ready-made reason for the relationship not working out.

Consider who you are attracted to. Are they already in a relationship? Or are they hiding behind their own walls after facing heartbreak? Perhaps they are physically unavailable due to their location or the demands on their time?

When you’re staying in your comfort zone behind too-high emotional walls, unavailable partners are attractive because they will not try to get too close and they won’t challenge your duck-and-cover strategy. At the same time, accepting these partners is a guarantee that you will remain alone behind your walls.

 

You Become Defensive Whenever Somebody Questions Your Emotional Walls

“I’m not closed-off!” you insist when somebody notes your unwillingness to be vulnerable and authentic. “It’s just that I haven’t met the right person,” you continue, in an attempt to redirect the attention elsewhere. Or, perhaps you bring up your previous heartbreaks to justify your stance, “You would understand if you had felt pain like I have.”

A defensive response is often indicative of two things – 1) somebody is pushing against an area of tenderness and 2) they are uncovering some truth that you’re not ready to hear. Pay attention to who is hightailing your emotional walls. Are these people who are coming from a place of genuine concern (if so, it may behoove you to listen) or they predatory-types who want you to let them in (bye, Felecia)?

 

You Strive to Keep Areas of Your Life Completely Separated

It is completely normal to act differently with different people and to have distinct groups of friends related to areas of your life. But if you’re overly concerned about any overlap between these groups, it may be a sign that you’re trying to prevent any one person or group from getting to know you too well.

 

You Use Projection to Assume What Others Are Feeling

“They wouldn’t want to know,” you tell yourself as you bite your lip to avoid opening up. We all have a tendency to assume that others feel the way we do and to tell ourselves what we want to hear. Taken together, this means that when your emotional walls are too high, you are going to unconsciously reinforce that decision by assuming the intentions of those around you.

 

You Try to Control the Outcome

Ultimately, the construction and maintenance of emotional walls comes down to control. After experiencing the excruciating pain of loss, you strive to never feel it again. And since you cannot prevent others from leaving, you instead keep them from getting in.

And, of course, that is your choice. Letting down the walls carries with it some real risk. You may be invaded by those intending to do you harm. Or, you may find love only to suffer its end. Whenever we open ourselves to another, we are giving them the opportunity to cause pain.

The problems arise when we are not happy or fulfilled and we don’t recognize that ultimately we are the cause of our discontent. Or, more specifically, our self-made walls are. That those barricades that provided needed protection from the elements for healing to occur have now become obsolete or even detrimental.

At the end of the day, only you can decide for yourself –

Is love worth the risk?

 

Related: 9 Reasons You’re Struggling to Find Love Again

 

 

10 Ways to Survive at Work When You’re Divorcing

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just push a pause button on life while we’re trying to get it together during divorce? Unfortunately, such a button has yet to be invented. And so we are stuck trying to keep up with our responsibilities at work while our emotions and personal lives are pulling us down.

And it’s not easy.

Here are 10 easy things you can do to help make it a little less tough that don’t require calling in sick for the next year:)

10 Ways to Survive at Work When You’re Divorcing

 

Life doesn’t stop when your marriage does. Here are some ideas on how to hold it together at work while your life is falling apart –

 

1 – Appoint a Point Person

 

Depending upon your nature and the culture of your workplace, you may decide to be open and transparent about your current situation or you may decide to keep it under wraps. Regardless of your position, I encourage you to confide in at least one person at work. Choose wisely – you’re looking for somebody who will be supportive rather than a busybody and will be understanding and helpful even if only provided with the barest of details.

Divorce can be very isolating and when you spend the majority of your day around people who don’t know about your situation, it can feel as though you’re in quarantine. Having a point person at work gives you a release valve. A friendly face and an encouraging word go a long way when you feel completely discouraged.

 

2 – Find a Safe Place

 

No matter how accepting your workplace is, you probably want to try to avoid tears at your desk or screams of profanity over the phone in the break room. Take a moment to scout out a safe place, a secluded spot inside or outside your work where you can retreat when you need a moment to get yourself together.

 

3 – Develop an Elevator Speech

 

Even if you decide not to reveal the unraveling of your marriage, people will notice that something is different. And being questioned when you’re raw can strip away any semblance of sanity and togetherness you are projecting.

So write your elevator speech, a canned and brief response that can be uttered in response to any probing questions. One that I often used – “I’m in the middle of a major life renovation.” Once you write your speech, practice it until you can say it without emotion.

 

4 – Clear Your Head

 

Institute an emotional purging ritual that you engage in before you begin your work day. I used a timer set for 8 minutes and a journal where I would write out all of the negativity and fears that arose during the night.

Follow your purge with a few moments of mindfulness. This can be as simple as ten deep breaths with intention and focus. This combination of release and awareness will help to keep your emotions in check throughout the work day.

 

5 – Block Messages

 

Divorce has a way of being intrusive. And whether it’s a call from your lawyer about another needed document or a text from your ex about custody, those messages can completely derail your work day. Most of these messages demand attention, but are not emergencies. So block them for the duration or part of your work day and set aside time each day to read, listen and respond to divorce-related news. Just by attending to the information on your own schedule will go a long way to making you feel in control of your emotions.

6 – Get Up and Move

A still body fosters a restless mind. If your job is mainly sedentary or keeps you in one primary location, make an effort to take movement breaks. If you can, strive to move with enough energy to elevate your heart rate, as the corresponding release of neurotransmitters will help to calm your mind and reset your mental state for work.

 

7 – Schedule Strategically

 

Some bad days seem to come out of nowhere. But others can be anticipated. If you have an upcoming day that you suspect will be rough – a court appearance, an anniversary, a birthday – use your schedule strategically. Need a day off work? Maybe it’s a good time for a doctor’s appointment. Need something to look forward to after a bum day? Schedule a vacation. Also, if you have control over your workload, you can intentionally ramp it up as a distraction or lighten the load if you need a break.

 

8 – Find a Centering Focus

 

Place something in your workspace that acts as a center, a prompt to take a deep breath. A sign that it will eventually be okay. A reminder of what is really important. It can be a picture, a quote or even an object. Think of it as your mascot or slogan for your new life.

 

9 – Stock Up on Sticky Notes

 

Your brain won’t work right for a period of time. It’s suffering from a TLI (Traumatic Life Injury) and it’s processing and memory capabilities will be reduced. I used to make fun of my mom for her abundance of sticky notes. And then I went through divorce and papered my own surroundings!

Don’t try to keep everything in your working memory; devise and implement some sort of note-taking strategy. Think of it as an external hard drive for your overtaxed brain.

 

10 – Get Into the Flow

 

Work can be a blessing during divorce. Allow yourself to become immersed in your responsibilities. Seek to enter a state of flow, where the outside world fades away and time seems to suspend. Let your work remind you of your strengths and your value.

Above all, be kind to yourself during this time. You’re facing some major changes and it’s only natural that the impact will bleed into your work. And the more you learn to accept and work with the reverberations, the less they will rattle you.

7 Vital Lessons Divorce Teaches Children

Posted on by stilllearning2b
children

I was in elementary school when my parents divorced and my dad moved out. I remember being confused – how could a family suddenly be not-a-family? I was sad – not only did I miss my dad, but I saw that mom was hurting. And I was ashamed, concerned that somehow my friends would judge me and my family because of the split. As I grew older, I began to internalize some of the events and developed a feeling that I wasn’t enough.

There’s no doubt about it, their divorce impacted me.

And not all of the effects were negative.

In fact, I now credit their divorce (and the way it was handled with me) with being the source for some of the most important messages I received in childhood.

I know that divorce is the last thing you ever wanted your children to experience. But there are ways to make the best of it.

Seven Vital Lessons Divorce Teaches Children

From the first moment you gazed into your newborn’s eyes, a need to protect them from all harm has permeated your every cell.   Yet no matter how deftly you wield your shield, you cannot block all of life’s slings and arrows from reaching your child. And for many children, their parent’s divorce is the first major emotional injury they face.

It’s difficult to watch your child suffer. Their pain ricochets through you like an unreturned racquetball in an empty court. You feel helpless as your normal platitudes and kisses fail to sooth this particular wound and guilty that you failed to protect them in the first place.

It’s easy to focus on the harm that divorce brings to children. After all, it’s no secret that the dissolution of a household is traumatic to all of its inhabitants and that children have a tendency to internalize and personalize the marital issues around them. Yet pain is not the only offering from divorce; it also provides opportunity. The following are seven vital lessons that children can learn through divorce:

1 – Loss Is a Part of Life; We Inhale Love and Exhale Grief

Everyone remembers their first major loss – whether it was the death of a childhood pet, the passing of a grandparent or the separation of their parents. This manner in which a child’s first experience with grief is handled sets the stage for how loss is perceived for the rest of their lives.

Divorce provides an opportunity for children to begin to accept that life is filled with beginnings and endings. It is an occasion for them to become familiar with the particular nature of grief as they learn to ride its ebbs and flows.

It is a classroom of sorts, a time for teaching about the importance of remembrance and ritual and for discovering the power in letting go. It can be a time for learning that it’s okay to feel all of the emotions. And also to not feel anything at all.

Divorce is a time of rending, yet it also can be a time of sewing the guiding threads into the fabric of your children’s spirits. Let this experience give them the courage and the wisdom to face life’s other hardships and unavoidable losses.

2 – Change Is Inevitable and Always Awkward at First

 

I remember being so sure – “I will ALWAYS love Cabbage Patch dolls.” “I will want waffles for breakfast for EVER and EVER.” And of course, as I told my friend confidently one day, “My parents will NEVER divorce.”

And then inevitably, my interest for dolls was traded for an enthusiasm for pop stars, I grew tired of waffles and my parents split up. Because, as I was beginning to learn, change is a certainty.

Kids (and most adults) struggle with change. They become irritable or withdrawn as they adapt to a new school or even a new teacher. They grapple with the transformations of their friends and friend-groups as the years progress. When the hormones hit and the growth spurts stretch their limbs, they rattle around in their new bodies until they finally settle in.

Divorce is a time for acknowledging the challenge that accompanies change, as the whole family learns to navigate a new reality. It is an opportunity to address the constancy of transformation and the balance of learning when to steer and when to let go. When the focus becomes more on adaptation rather than resistance, change becomes easier. And it’s possible to dance even before you’ve fully found your sea-legs.

3 – Humans Are Fallible (and Parents Are Human)

 

Like many kids, I put my parents right up there with Wonder Woman and Superman when I was little. They were all-powerful, always knew just what to do and could do no wrong. And then one day, my father sat me down and told me he was moving out. Which meant that somehow my parents didn’t have everything figured out.

I remember becoming fascinated with the hidden internal life of the adults around me. I started to catch the little twitch of uncertainty in my teacher’s eye as she disciplined the class troublemaker. I noticed the tinge of fear on my doctor’s face as she escorted a family back into the waiting room. And I became aware of the sadness and hesitancy within my own parents as they ended their marriage.

In some ways, learning that adults didn’t know everything was a scary realization, as the metaphorical safety net lost some of its bindings. Yet it was also comforting to discover that I wasn’t expected to undergo some sort of super hero training before I could obtain my adult status.

Divorce is a window for children into the lives of adults. It’s a time to normalize the human experience and remove the shadow of shame that can follow on the heels of a perceived failure. During divorce, you can not only show your children that you’re human, you can give them permission to imperfect as well.

4 – Wishes Are Not Enough and You Can’t Control the Way the Wind Blows

 

“Close your eyes and make a wish,” we’re told every year through childhood. Later, we’re cautioned that if we reveal the desire, it won’t come true. But we’re rarely told the truth that wishing isn’t enough and that there are some things that we cannot influence.

Kids often grapple with understanding the difference between wanting something and having something. They can’t yet comprehend the limits of budget or the constraints implied by time and distance. This same illusion of desire can easily follow divorce, as children believe that they can bring their parents back together through mere will alone.

It’s a painful awareness, that simply wanting something to be true cannot make it so. Yet, it’s a valuable lesson and one better delivered early in life. Because the sooner a child understands the limits of their influence, the sooner they can begin focusing on tuning the instruments within their own orchestra.

 

 

5 – When You Own Your Own Stuff, Nobody Else Can Own You

 

Your kids learn from watching you.

When they see you implement and uphold boundaries, refusing to be the doormat for some else’s dirty shoes, they learn that it’s okay to say “No.” When they witness you being gracious in spite of pain, they begin to understand the power of kindness. When they watch you take a deep breath and take a big leap, they learn that you can act in spite of fear. When they notice that you avoid blaming their other parent and instead you find a way to make it work, they learn the limitations of victimhood.

During the uncertainty and sorrow of divorce, you can teach your children the power of choosing how you respond. You can model for them how much a reaction – or non-reaction – can alter a situation. And you can help them learn to take the responsibility for their own choices and responses because once they can do that, they can do anything.

 

 

6 – Life Can Be Hard, but It Goes On

 

When learning about their parent’s upcoming divorce, many kids first response is a question, “But will [my birthday, Six Flags, my recital, etc.] still happen?” Part of this comes from the natural self-centeredness of children and part of comes from their need to know that their life, even if it looks somewhat different, will still continue.

Divorce provides an opportunity for children to learn that life, although difficult at times, still goes on. The dog still needs to be fed, the homework must still be completed and summer vacation is still on the horizon. Life is a series of moments. Some bring smiles and some bring tears. And there’s always another moment waiting in the wings.

 

 

7 – A Parent’s Love is Bigger Than the Sky

“If you can fall out of love with daddy, can you fall out of love with me?”

Those were the words my client’s daughter uttered after learning about the upcoming divorce.

“Never. A parent’s love for their child is special. It is bigger than sky and deeper than the deepest ocean. It goes on further than the furthest telescope can see and shines brighter than brightest star. I know a lot of things have changed, but my love for you never will.”

And right there, in those words, is the biggest lesson you can give your child through divorce. That no matter what, you will always love them.