Thought Patterns

15 Responses

  1. Since I am a math teacher…I totally get this…great explanation.

  2. Magnumsmom says:

    I try, really try. Sadly I got my self-esteem from him. I feel if he left me I am not worthy of loving. Trying to change the input, my lawyer, the judge even my kids say he is an a-hole. But the heart doesn’t listen. Thanks for your input.

  3. Susan says:

    For Magnumsmom, if I may….It will come. It takes time. We, who have gone before, salute you and pray for you. One day you absolutely realize that you are worth it, wonderfully and perfectly made as you are. Keep reading Lisa, she has helped me a great deal.

  4. blogventer says:

    Okay, I have to admit I almost didn’t read this post, once you started w/ the math-stuff. But you’d promised to make it easy, so I soldiered on. Glad I did. What I take away from this is a reinforcement of something I experienced several weeks ago, and again, recently:

    A month or two ago H wanted to watch a movie with me. I hedged, not knowing if I could handle spending time around this man who has alternately ignored me/made me feel like the bad-guy since D-day (except when it’s about the kids). But, wanting to keep peace, and to see if we could somehow remain civil, I agreed. We settled on an action-flick. (I didn’t want to watch a rom-com with him.) Halfway in, I realized the main-guy’s daughter had the same name as H’s AP. And I knew that eventually the main-guy would say, “I love you, (her name).” Also, it was revealed that the main-guy had cheated on his wife (his daughter’s now-deceased mother) during their marriage. It was too much to be watching this movie, sitting on opposite ends of the sofa w/ H. With the action at high-climax, I bolted. (H never tried to find out why.) –> Recursive thinking. (?)

    But I realized later that If I’d been watching the movie alone I probably could have handled it, Similarly, I’ve had no problems watching rom-coms alone, w/o H. And recently, I read a book where the romantic male-lead had the same first name as my abusive ex-boyfriend. But I managed, for the most part, to not let this ruin the story for me. A few times it almost became an exercise in pushing past triggers, but I did it.–> Input-Output thinking. (?)

  5. The hardest part of my divorce…..
    Accepting that no matter what any outside stimulus occurred, I am still responsible for my life. I allowed “him to beat me into nothing “.
    I appreciate your breakdown of patterns.
    Very helpful and timely. If you find a short cut between knowing and doing. ….I am so there. ;).

    • I wish there was a shortcut…

      Still, it’s powerful to realize that you can choose your response regardless of the stimulus. One of those things things that is so simple but by no means easy.

  6. Chico says:

    Meditation is a great method to train your brain to do just what you suggested.

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