Taming the Monkey Mind: Natural Habitat

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Well, it was bound to happen.  I missed two days of intentional, sustained meditation.  We took advantage of the holiday weekend and spent 3 days camping.  I’m not sure if it was the change of routine, the constant companionship, or the downshift of rhythm lessening the need, but I completely forgot to meditate for the two full days we spent camping and hiking.  Even though I did not engage in sustained practice, I certainly practiced mindfulness.  In fact, this is one of the factors I like most about being in nature, everything is simplified and it is so much easier to be present.  I love waking up with sun, bedding down soon after the stars fill the sky, and moving with the rhythms of the world around me.  I thrill in finding the awaking spring flowers, the trickle of a stream that transitions to the roar of a waterfall, and becoming entranced in the dancing flames of a campfire.  I feel as peaceful and refreshed as I do after meditation.  Maybe I didn’t intentionally practice because I actually spent much of the time in a meditative state?

In the past, if I let a day or more slip by without doing an intended action, I would have been very hard on myself.  This time, I am being more gentle; just like I guide my mind back to breath, I am guiding myself back to a daily practice.  In fact, I began again within hours of arriving home (after a shower and doing some laundry and dishes…ever noticed how “camp” hygiene becomes disgusting as soon as you return home???).  This monkey may have spent some time in the wild, but that does not been that it has become feral.

മലയാളം: ചള്ളിയാൻ എടുത്തത്

 

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Total Immersion

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I woke up at 2:30 this morning, unable to go back to sleep.  I do that sometimes.

I moved to the couch in my office, picked up my computer, and promptly began to research yoga and meditation retreats. You know, as one does in the middle of the night when slumber is elusive.

I feel like I have done pretty well taming my monkey mind, but I would love to test the premise of total immersion in the context of mindfulness.  I think that my monkey would do well surrounded by tamed neural simians and trained synaptic handlers.  I am drawn to the thought of spending a few days or even a week focusing only on my monkey’s well-being, far away from all the distractions that tend to catch his eye (yes, my monkey-mind is a him; I’m not sure why). Much like Cesar Millan uses his pack to train other dogs, I want to use tamed monkeys to guide my own.

I have done something similar once before.  In the fall after July Disasster, I spent a long weekend at the Mandala Wellness Center for yoga, meditation, and therapy as a solo retreat.  It was there that I found my breath again.  It was there that I moved back into my body.

I am looking for something different now.  I no longer need a personal retreat and I do not require the presence and attention of a therapist.  Instead, this time I want to be in the presence of others who are on a similar journey.  I want to share in the experience. I am no longer looking for healing, rather I am looking to make the good better.

There are many options nearby, but I cannot justify the price.  Options overseas are cheaper, but the airfare is cost prohibitive.  It seems as though the ready made options are out, but I am not giving up.  I am going to see if I can cobble together my own total immersion experience on a budget.  Without sleeping in my car outside an urban yoga studio, that is.

If anyone has any suggestions or knows of any wallet-friendly retreats, please let me or my monkey know:)

 

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Accepting the Way of the Monkey

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Monkey and baby

As I mentioned in my last Monkey Mind post, I am done with the enumeration of my meditation practice.  I feel as though I have begun to make it a part of me and the key is just to commit to it every day.  In this way, the remainder of the 28 days will pass and hopefully many more.

My lesson of late has been one of acceptance.  It is foolish to expect monkeys to act like disciplined martial arts students; they have a wild way about them that resists too much control. Trying to collect the monkey mind is like trying to hold water in a sieve, you focus on one area, and the critters escape out the other holes.  I am learning to cover all the escape routes in my mind with a thin layer of intention, rather than focusing too intently on one gap or another.  I still lose focus, but it is more nuanced, more relaxed and less like a game of Whack a Mole.  I think I’m finally understanding that oxymoron of “relaxed intention.”

On an aside, I am finding that I meditate much better in a prone position.  I’m not sure why this is, perhaps it sends a message to my mind that it is time to relax.  I would like to become more comfortable practicing in the seated position, but I am not going to push it at this point.

I am excited about my practice this afternoon.  (Uh-oh, here I go with those expectations again…)  I have been wanting to meditate lying in the warm sun, feeling the rays sooth me with their heat.  Today should be a good day for that.  Unless it isn’t, and I shall have to accept that.

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Child’s Pose

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Balasana

Sometimes I forget my own lessons.  I let expectation build.  I am too hard on myself.  I try to fight what is instead of working with it.

Yesterday afternoon, I started feeling a bit sick.  Nothing too bad, but my stomach was definitely telling me to take it easy.  I tried arguing with my digestive system for awhile, determined to continue on with my plans for the evening.  My stomach (and my boyfriend, who was speaking for the GI tract) gained the upper hand.  I relented.  I rested.  But I was still having trouble letting go of the “wasted” evening during spring break.

I hoped to wake today feeling fully restored so that I could attend my usual hot power yoga class.  I don’t think that’s going to happen; something about hot yoga while running a fever doesn’t seem too smart.  I am trying hard this morning to accept this change in plans (and the others that will spiral out of it).  I am working to shift my expectations.  I can tell that my body needs to rest, but I am not too sick to do some things.  I will embrace this day of perusing book shelves, walking the aisles of Whole Foods to see what new foods entice me, and writing while sitting in the sun.

In yoga, the practice often begins in child’s pose and the pose can be re-assumed at any point in order to rest.  I used to see taking the pose as a sign of defeat, “I am too weak to handle this practice.”  Now, I see the wisdom in taking a respite, in taking time to gather and rest.  I have found that it improves the quality of the rest of the practice.

I am taking a metaphorical child’s pose today.  I am going to rest the body and recenter the mind.  I am going to let go of my old hopes and plans, and fully embrace the day as it comes.

Taming the Monkey Mind: Day 11

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Today is one of those days that deserves a name, a title that anchors it in my mind and lets me retrieve the file at will. I dub today, The Opening.

I have recently developed my own Sunday ritual. My morning begins with a 90 minute power hot yoga class. Now that spring has arrived, I follow this class with a visit to the nearby botanical gardens for an hour or so. It is a perfect combination, as it makes good use of drive time and the plants don’t seem to mind the fact that I am sweaty and stinky from yoga (or at least they are too polite to say so).

This particular yoga class has been a delightful challenge for me. Every week I learn something new about a pose or about myself. It pushes me beyond my comfort zone in so many ways. My biggest obstacle in yoga has always been my hips; they are tight from running, lack of stretching, and my natural biomechanics. But, most of all, they are tight because it is where I hold tension. Those hips are starting to open. As those binding ligaments loosen, I can start to feel my mind relax as well. Stress moves out and acceptance moves in to take its place. My yoga instructor says, “Open hips, open heart.” I think she may be on to something.

I had to smile when I entered the gardens today. On my last visit two weeks ago, The petals on the tulips were closed tight, rigid and upright. Today, they were splayed open, faces towards the sun. Those tulips mirrored my own feelings.

The gardens were beautiful today, full of riotous color and fresh verdant growth. Of course, that also means they were full of onlookers; the quiet solitude of the early spring a thing of the past. I decided to approach my visit a little differently today. I pulled out my phone, interested my headphones, and started a track that contains meditative music that follows a diurnal rhythm. This allowed me to be in my own world and not be aware of the people filling the garden. I took a different route through the planting, maintaining a calm mind. This was my meditation today. I had no goals, no destination. I allowed myself to just be in the space. It was wonderful. Restorative.

I now feel open, face turned towards the sun.

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