Surrender

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It is natural to resist.

To struggle.

To put up a fight.

It is natural for us but that does not mean that it always helps us.

I receive a lesson in surrendering twice a day when it is animal feeding time. The cat, Maddy, comes first. She usually is loud and insistent as she tries to lead me to her food dish. She likes to wind in and out of my feet making the journey difficult especially if I have to come down the stairs. She then positions her body over the food dish, making it challenging to pour the kibble around her ready frame. At least once a week, she pushes up against my arm while I am pouring, thus spilling food across the floor. She gets fed, but we all end up frustrated in the process.

A full dish with no cat in sight. A VERY unusual situation! She probably knew I wanted a picture…

The dog, Tiger, is in total contrast to the feline. As soon as I make a move towards his dish, he slides into a prone position with his head down and averts his gaze as I mix his food. He stays in that position until the food is on the floor and he is told “okay.” By surrendering to the process, he (and the rest of the household!) is calm and peaceful while the food is served.

There are certainly times in life when it is appropriate to take up arms and be ready to fight for your rights or those of your loved ones. There are times when pushing through is the only way and surrendering will only leave you trampled in the dust.

But those times are much fewer and far between than we realize. Think of your own life. Do you ever fight for a meal that is coming anyway? Do you protest even when others are moving to your aide? Do you inadvertently trip those around you or block what you desire?

Tiger patiently waiting for his breakfast.

I know I do.

I have a tendency to see surrendering as a weakness, a sign of giving up and giving in. I fight, not against any real adversary, but for control. The desire for the illusion of control is what holds us back from acceptance. It is a fruitless fight, that battle for control. You may as well be in a brawl with a ghost, struggling to hold tight to an apparition. There is power in surrender. It shows that you are strong enough to let go of control and trust that you will remain standing nonetheless. There is peace in surrender as the pointless clash is let go. Learn when to trade in your sword for a white flag and yield to that which causes you struggle.

Luckily feeding time comes twice a day so that I can remember the value in surrendering. And the fact that cats are not very trainable.

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The Synergy of Mental and Physical Strength

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Which do you feel like you have more of: mental strength or physical strength?  Regardless of your answer, you can use your strength to address the area in which you have room to improve.

How to Grow Mental Strength From Physical

Use your physical attributes to set up situations where you gain confidence in your strength and abilities.

If you chat with people at the starting line of most races, you will find that many them  started racing around the time of a personal crisis.  In order to help build their inner strength and confidence, they created a physical obstacle that they knew they could overcome.

I joined these multitudes for my first half marathon (in fact, my first race ever) a few months after my husband left.  needed a physical goal that was challenging but doable to train my mind for the long haul ahead.  It was two hours of hell on that course, but I made it through and, in doing so, knew that I could face other marathons, even of the emotional kind.

How to Grow Physical Strength From Mental

Use your fortitude to overcome your physical obstacles and discomfort.

I had this experience in high school; I had major sensory and mobility issues with my right arm due to a nerve conduction problem.  As a result of the pain and disability, I lost strength and endurance.  My body was weak and uncoordinated.  As my release from physical therapy crew near, I looked for a way to increase my strength.  I had always been drawn to the Monkees (yes, I did have a huge crush on Davy Jones) and the show had introduced me to the sport of fencing.  I decided that was what I wanted to try and I was lucky enough to have an excellent instructor in town and a mom that would make  it happen.

The first day I walked into the salle (fencing school), I couldn’t even hold the weapon in my hand.  My instructor thought I was a fool.  Who would commit to learning to fence when they couldn’t even hold a three-pound foil for a few seconds?  This was where the mind came in.  I was determined to make it happen.  I used my stubbornness to push my body further than it wanted to go, and  as a result, gained strength, endurance, and mobility.

For most of us, we will have times when one area is stronger than the other.  Funnel the strength you do have into the area that is lacking to achieve overall balance, vitality, and resilience.