Moving On
Sweat and Tears
The tears were close to the surface this morning.
Tears of frustration born from his decisions nickel and diming away my future.
Tears of anger at myself for falling for his swindle.
Tears of shame at how I am perceived as I act as the face of his mess
While he continues to run away.
I welcomed the hot breathe of the yoga studio today,
Seeking purification and strength within its walls.
I set my intention, looking for acceptance.
I was told to “let it go,”
But I held on for dear life.
As I pressed into my first down dog,the hot tears formed furrows
In the beads of sweat rolling down my face.
I struggled to keep my breath as the sobs stole the rhythm from my vinyasa,
The body trying to share its wisdom with the mind.
“Feel deeper,” echoed the instructor’s voice as we were bent over in a forward fold,
The tap-tap-tap of sweat hitting the floor telling the tales of the heat.
“You will not be given more than you can bear.”
My hips felt like they were being wrenched apart,
Following in the footsteps of my heart.
“Let it go.”
I breathed into the pain, trying to soften.
“Don’t let the difficulty opening the hips translate to tension in the neck;”
“Don’t let something that is challenging destroy something which is working beautifully.”
Folding into child’s pose, I took a moment and let that soak in.
My current struggle is temporary, my gratitude is not.
“Let it go”
I walked out of the studio, the pouring summer rains,
Washing the sweat and tears from my enlightened body.
Ready to sever the final ugly tie to the past,
Trusting that the price will not be too much to bear.
I am ready
to let it go.
;
;
Related articles
- Tears look like sweat: yoga for grief (justherejustnow.wordpress.com)
- Breathing In Rhythm: The Relationship Between Yoga & Music. ~ Rich Mangicaro (elephantjournal.com)
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6 Lessons in Learning to Live Life Without Your Loved One
These lessons also apply to loss through divorce or separation.
6 Lessons in Learning to Live Life Without Your Loved One.
The most difficult lesson for me was to allow myself to feel the grief and the pain. I became an expert at filling my life with distractions (luckily, healthy ones, but distractions nonetheless). I was afraid that if I let the feelings in, that they would become a tsunami, crushing me under their power.
I had to make conscious decisions in the beginning to let myself feel some of it. My mind acted like a seawall, allowing some of the wave through, but holding part back. I was able to feel and process a little at a time, so that no one experience was too overwhelming. This piecemeal approach takes time, but it has worked for me because it breaks it down into manageable chunks, whereas the whole would be too much to bear.
6 Lessons in Learning to Live Life Without Your Loved One
These lessons also apply to loss through divorce or separation.
6 Lessons in Learning to Live Life Without Your Loved One.
The most difficult lesson for me was to allow myself to feel the grief and the pain. I became an expert at filling my life with distractions (luckily, healthy ones, but distractions nonetheless). I was afraid that if I let the feelings in, that they would become a tsunami, crushing me under their power.
I had to make conscious decisions in the beginning to let myself feel some of it. My mind acted like a seawall, allowing some of the wave through, but holding part back. I was able to feel and process a little at a time, so that no one experience was too overwhelming. This piecemeal approach takes time, but it has worked for me because it breaks it down into manageable chunks, whereas the whole would be too much to bear.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 