7 Reasons to Cross a Finish Line During Your Divorce

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Divorce is often a long process. Apart from assembling the required documentation, writing checks to your attorney and making the requisite trips to IKEA (where you fight with college kids over the practical and value-minded inventory), you end up spending a lot of that time simply waiting.

Waiting for your divorce to be final.

Waiting for the legal approval to make changes to your name, your accounts and maybe your living situation.

Waiting for the uncertainty and the pain to end.

And maybe even waiting to live.

 

Let’s face it – waiting sucks. Feeling helpless sucks. Feeling insecure and lost as you tentatively start your new sucks.

And you know what can help all of that suck a little less?

A finish line.

No, really.

Learn more about how a finish line can help you here.

A Note of Gratitude

Posted on by stilllearning2b
gratitude

I wanted to take a moment to extend a note of gratitude to all of my readers, both those of you that have followed the blog from its inception over five years ago and those of you that just recently signed on. You’re all an important part of this site.

I have heard from so many of you, describing your raw emotions and challenging situations and in many cases, relating your triumph over such hardship. I grieve with you when you share your sorrows and I celebrate with you when you find freedom and peace. And I admire the strength and determination that shine through your words.

I am thankful for the ideas you give me for posts, both offered explicitly and those suggested in your replies. Without all of you, my well of ideas would have dried up long ago.

I especially appreciate those of you that are so generous with reaching out and helping other readers, offering encouragement, advice or even just a, “Me too.” I’ve always visualized this as a place where everyone can extend a hand to help someone who is a step behind. In that way, we can all make it through.

Thank you for your support, both of this blog and of each other. Without you, this site would not exist.

With humble gratitude,

Lisa

5 Tips For Managing Your Pre-Divorce Anxiety

Posted on by stilllearning2b

You’ve made the decision to divorce.

Maybe you’re ready for it to be over after months or years of trying to make it work, looking forward to closing this chapter so you can begin the next.

Perhaps you’ve accepted that this is your best – or only – course of action and you just want to get it done so that you don’t have to carry it at the front of your mind any longer.

Or possibly this divorce is unwanted, and the time spent waiting for it to be finalized is prolonging the agony.

 

Regardless of your situation, the months or years of legal limbo between the decision to divorce and the final paperwork can be a difficult time to manage. Over at DivorceForce, here are five ways to make this period a little easier.

This Year, I’m Ready

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Today marks my last day before the start of the next school year.

And this year, I’m ready.

I’ve had an opportunity to disconnect this summer. To slow down and uni-task. Lots of writing. Tons of yoga. Meditation without the worry of getting to work on time. And it’s amazing how restorative a little time away can be.

I’ve been able to travel so that I won’t feel envious when I hear of other’s summer adventures. Instead, I carry with me the fond memories of my adventures and my opportunities to reconnect with friends and family. And I have more travel on the calendar during the school year, much-needed breaks that I didn’t get last year.

I made a realistic goal list for myself for the summer weeks and I either accomplished all of it (I got the book done!) or intentionally put it on hold. As a result, I feel relaxed about the balancing act between school and writing.

In just a few short days, I’ll get to meet my new 6th graders (and start the “training” process all over again…I need coffee just thinking about it!) and I’ll get to see my known 7th and 8th graders again. I’m excited to see where we can go this year. Last year, the first for this school and this program, was successful. Now, we have a foundation built. That was the hard work. This should be the more fun part.

I’m not sure how much is due to keeping a daily gratitude journal this month (a habit I need to make sure I maintain once the days get crazy!), but I’m feeling grateful on this last day of break. Grateful for the time to spend my energy other directions and grateful to be returning to a job where I can make a difference (and play with math, which I promise is not an oxymoron!).

The food prep is done. The clothes laid out. And the bags of new school supplies are staged for the car. I’m refusing to check my work emails and staying present in today.

Even as I’m getting excited for tomorrow.

Because this year, I’m ready.

 

I Needed Him to Face the Consequences, Yet I Was the One Who Paid

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I entered the divorce process like a dizzy and blindfolded toddler attempting to swing at a candy-laden piñata. I had a singular focus, yet unable to see, I fumbled through it and frequently became disoriented even while I was obsessed with obtaining my desired outcome.

One of the few regrets I have is in how I navigated the divorce process. If I had it to do over again (please, God, no!), I would certainly make more an effort to separate my emotions and let go of the outcomes.

But because I didn’t know that the first time, I made these mistakes that ended up costing me.