Gravity

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Like many other kids, I entertained the notion of becoming an astronaut. On family camping trips, I would gaze up at the stars and imagine what it would be like to travel between them. I thrilled in the images of astronauts unbound by the limits of gravity, every small action becoming a dance through space. The life of a star-walker seemed so free. So captivating. So inviting.

But I didn’t see the big picture yet.

Like many other kids of the 80s, my school went positively hog-wild for the Challenger expedition. We wrote letters to Christa McAuliffe. We carefully selected payloads and supplies from lists, balancing needs against weights, preparing on paper for a trip we hoped we would one day make. We watched videos of the crew aimed at schoolchildren and we learned lessons recommended by NASA. The inflatable planetarium paid a visit and we were taught rudimentary celestial navigation. Our school even built a mock-up of the cockpit of the shuttle out of cardboard and foil where we would take turns running pretend missions.

By the time the actual launch date arrived, there was a thrum of energy vibrating through the school. All of our pseudo-preparations led  us to feel like we were a part of that mission, an integral as the commander. That morning was endless as we waited for the lunch-time launch. TVs were located and rabbit ears adjusted to tune-in to the launch. Regular programming, both on TV and in the school, was suspended for the mission.

I remember the gasp more than the explosion. My teacher’s sharp intake of breath followed shortly by the news anchor’s wail. The kids needed another moment to reach understanding and then our cries began. For most of us, this was the first tragedy on a grand scale that we had ever experienced.

Interestingly, the disaster itself did not dull the allure of space for me. Instead, it drove me to understand more. As I sought out my own information, I realized that the videos and lessons presented to us were sanitized for our protection. We weren’t taught the realities of space travel; we were presented with the shiny happy Disney version.

One picture in one book rendered me speechless. It was an image of the command capsule from a pre-shuttle program splashdown. One astronaut was already on board the rescue boat, collapsed under his own weight. Another was being hauled from the hatch, his muscles unable to provide much assistance. On the next page, was the image that was always presented to the public – the entire crew standing together after the mission with smiles on their faces and hands waving in the air.

Just to take that picture, that little piece of fiction, in the days after landing would have exhausted the crew. Despite their healthy appearances, they could hardly walk. In the absence of gravity, their muscles atrophied. They became weak and unable to meet the demands of their own world.

 

A life of little resistance seems so tempting. The thought of floating through without struggle and being untethered to any ballast is appealing.

But the reality is not so attractive.

We need resistance to grow sturdy.

We need struggle to become strong.

 

During my divorce, I felt like I was trying to walk on Jupiter, my 120 lbs magnified by the gaseous giant to a staggering 283 lbs. Every action required immense effort as I struggled to complete even the most arbitrary tasks against the pull of the pain.

But each day, I grew a little stronger. More adapted to my new environment. I became less aware of the increased resistance as I became tougher.

And when it was time for my return to earth, I felt like I was floating.

The strength built for struggle filled normal life with ease.

Star walking on earth.

 

 

 

Resistance is Futile

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Resistance is futile.

So why do I grip in my hamstrings as I bend to touch my toes?

Resistance is futile.

So why do I kick up excuses at well-aimed suggestions?

Resistance is futile.

So why do I struggle against change?

 

Perhaps because resistance is human.

 

We assume that everything will be a struggle and so we prepare to fight.

We want to maintain the status quo rather than face the fear of the unknown so we put up opposition.

We strive to hold on to what we have even when we would better to let go.

 

Resistance may be futile, but we have raised that futility to an art form.

 

And recently, I’ve deserved gallery space to highlight my performance art of resistance.

Rather than accept the nature of a middle school preparing for the spring testing season, I’ve been struggling against it. Wasting energy wishing it was different and bemoaning the state it’s in. The reality is that it is not going to change. I can look back at my March posts from the previous two years and see the same struggle. Yet, if I choose not to resist, if I go with the flow of March and April, May will come at the same pace as it would if I railed against the reality. And I would probably be in a better place to greet it.

Rather than accept the overwhelming nature of learning a new career (the one I just passed a test and obtained licensure for), I’ve been struggling against the natural learning curve. I’m dependent upon others for training and I’m letting myself grow frustrated when it can’t happen on my timeline. But that frustration doesn’t change anything other than my attitude.

But wait, it gets better.

Rather than accept the weather of the day, I’ve been resisting the remnants of winter and exiting my hibernation prematurely. I’ve been spotted wearing open toed shoes and sleeveless tops. While silently complaining about the weather.

Rather than allowing myself my much-needed cognitive cool-down in the evenings, I’ve been working up until I head to bed. The result? My body tries to sleep while my brain resists, generating ideas and solving problems that interrupt my sleep.

Rather than recognizing my computer’s slowing as a sign to restart, I soldier on while pages take eons to load and applications crash.

 

Wow. It all seems so silly when I write it down. I’ve basically been shadow boxing. Against myself. Resisting for the sake of resistance.

But resistance is futile.

Even if I put down my gloves, May will come, I will learn my new trade and the weather will warm.

Last night, I gave myself the gift of a rebooted computer (who is now loading happily) and an evening without thought of work or writing.

And I feel much better after giving up the struggle.

 

There are certainly times in life where you have to fight. But those are fewer and farther between than we usually realize. Take the time to look at the struggle in your life and eliminate the battles that are against yourself. Save your energy for the real fights.

 

Transistance

Posted on by stilllearning2b

transistance [tran′zis·təns]

(electronics)
The characteristic that makes possible the control of voltages or currents so as to accomplish gain or switching action in a circuit; examples of transistance occur in transistors, diodes, and saturable reactors.

McGraw-Hill Dictionary of Scientific & Technical Terms, 6E, Copyright © 2003 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

transistance [tran′zis·təns]

(psychology)

The characteristic of being resistant to transitions.

Me. Sometimes I feel the need to make up a new word or ascribe a new meaning to an established word in order to say what I want to say. This is one of those cases. Apologies in advance if that offends you.

Anyone involved with education is familiar with the enormous transitions from school to summer and then back again. As a teacher, I am involved with shutting down and then restarting an entire organization every year. It is a transition on a macro scale. Embedded within that transition, each person involved is also facing change. I see it in the rising freshmen in the spring and the incoming sixth graders in the fall. I see it on the faces of the parents as they witness their “babies” growing into maturity. I see it in the teachers as we adapt to new curriculum and new routines. It is an exciting and stressful time for all.

But why is it stressful? The coming of another school year and the aging of children are expected. Normal. So why the anxiety that bleeds into the buzz?

Transistance.

We so easily fall into the trap of thinking that the way things are now is the way they are always going to be. We might plan for tomorrow yet we see it from the perspective of today. That creates a friction between our psyches and the “now” that results in a resistance to change. We know transitions are inevitable yet it is difficult to imagine the biting wind of a winter storm while baking in the summer sun.

The only thing constant is change. Heraclitus

I did not used to be as aware of the affect that transitions had on me. I would find that I didn’t sleep as well or that my mind felt scattered, but I never really dug down into it. I am trying to be more mindful of the transitory periods in my life so that approach them proactively. I make sure to take a little extra time to be quiet: yoga, meditation, or a solo hike or run. I do a better job listening to my body even it that means going to bed before 9:00 p.m. I remind myself that the stress of transition is also temporary and that a new normal will once again be reached. I still experience transistance. We all do. But now I can face it with a smile.

How about you? Have you experienced any transitions lately? Did you have transistance? How do you cope with transitions?