Taming the Monkey Mind: Accepting the Way of the Monkey

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Monkey and baby

As I mentioned in my last Monkey Mind post, I am done with the enumeration of my meditation practice.  I feel as though I have begun to make it a part of me and the key is just to commit to it every day.  In this way, the remainder of the 28 days will pass and hopefully many more.

My lesson of late has been one of acceptance.  It is foolish to expect monkeys to act like disciplined martial arts students; they have a wild way about them that resists too much control. Trying to collect the monkey mind is like trying to hold water in a sieve, you focus on one area, and the critters escape out the other holes.  I am learning to cover all the escape routes in my mind with a thin layer of intention, rather than focusing too intently on one gap or another.  I still lose focus, but it is more nuanced, more relaxed and less like a game of Whack a Mole.  I think I’m finally understanding that oxymoron of “relaxed intention.”

On an aside, I am finding that I meditate much better in a prone position.  I’m not sure why this is, perhaps it sends a message to my mind that it is time to relax.  I would like to become more comfortable practicing in the seated position, but I am not going to push it at this point.

I am excited about my practice this afternoon.  (Uh-oh, here I go with those expectations again…)  I have been wanting to meditate lying in the warm sun, feeling the rays sooth me with their heat.  Today should be a good day for that.  Unless it isn’t, and I shall have to accept that.

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Halfway Point

Posted on by stilllearning2b
Halfway Line Halfway Line on football pitch on...
Halfway Line Halfway Line on football pitch on Tokyngton recreation ground (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Usually when I run, the hardest part for me is getting to the halfway point.  After that, my Nike iFit begins to count backwards (ex. 5 miles to go) and my brain begins to relax.  For the first half, I feel like I’m choosing to run away from something (the start line, the car, the house).  Once I hit the midway marker, I begin to run towards something.

The 28 day meditation challenge has occupied a similar spot in my brain.  At first, I was mainly concerned with ticking off the days, ensuring that I didn’t miss any.  Now, that part seems easy.  I can let go of the training log and focus more on the destination.  It’s interesting, the aspect that was the most difficult for me at first (practicing daily), has become simple.  In fact, I think my key to incorporating meditation into my life long term is not to commit to doing it a few times a week, but to vow to practice daily.  It is not like running, where the body needs a rest, and those days off are where my practice tends t slip into oblivion.  I think the key for me will be to incorporate meditation daily in some form for some amount of time.

As far as the practice itself, that monkey mind isn’t much quieter, but it doesn’t bother me as much anymore.  I am able to calmly quiet it again. And again.  And again.  What I have found; however, is a change in my monkey mind in the other moments of my life.  I seem to be able to stay more calm and centered.  A good skill for a middle school teacher to have in the days leading up to spring break!

Monkey 343
Monkey 343 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

The article below reminds us that happiness is found in the present, not through future plans or past ruminations.  Stay now.

Let Go, Forgive, and Be Grateful Right Now.

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Day 13

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Funny sleeping monkey

Today was a day I was very thankful to have meditation in my toolkit.  I had to go to mediation today to clear up one of my ex’s messes.  Now, to help you understand how stressed this makes me, I’ll tell you a couple embarrassing facts about myself.  First, I suffer from anxiety when I owe an overdue fine to the library.  No, I’m not exaggerating.  I wish I was.  I’ll be stressed and fixated until I can settle my $.20 fine and return the materials.  Another example?  I recently purchased a prepaid toll sticker for a local highway.  Every time I drive through, I am nervous until I see the green light flash, even though I know there are sufficient funds in the account.  I’m not sure where this pathological anxiety about money comes from, but it is there.  You pair that with my ex-husband’s secret out of control spending and hidden accounts, and you have a disaster waiting to happen.

I started today with a hard 11 mile run (my personal Xanax).  I ended up with my fastest pace ever for distance (7:01 average pace).  I figured I would tire that monkey out before trying to subdue it.  The meditation following the run went well.  I have discovered the Deep Energy podcasts and found that the music works really well for me for meditation.  I think it is going to be my go-to from now on.

I worked to maintain my mindful and calm state as I drove to the office where the mediation was to occur.  NPR was apparently aware of my intent, as they played Beethoven’s 5th Symphony for me as I sped down the highway (at least, I assume they had me in mind when they made the selection). It followed, almost to a turn, the path to a great little restaurant I went to over the summer to enjoy my first-ever gluten free pancakes that I did not have to make (oh, they were heavenly!).  I even took the same wrong turn today.  I began to actually enjoy the ride as I remembered that summer day.  I then drove through a neighborhood where I ran a Chili Festival 5K with a friend of mine a couple of years ago.  More smiles and good memories.

I entered the mediation relatively calm, the monkeys only chattering slightly in the background.  The entire process went well and went quickly.  More proof that most of my fears are due to anticipation rather than reality.

NPR cooperated again, playing light and lively Mozart on my way home.

I am glad that I have been training the monkeys; they did me proud today.  Now, I think I’ll visit the library’s website and renew my materials.  Just in case, you understand.

 

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Day 11

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Today is one of those days that deserves a name, a title that anchors it in my mind and lets me retrieve the file at will. I dub today, The Opening.

I have recently developed my own Sunday ritual. My morning begins with a 90 minute power hot yoga class. Now that spring has arrived, I follow this class with a visit to the nearby botanical gardens for an hour or so. It is a perfect combination, as it makes good use of drive time and the plants don’t seem to mind the fact that I am sweaty and stinky from yoga (or at least they are too polite to say so).

This particular yoga class has been a delightful challenge for me. Every week I learn something new about a pose or about myself. It pushes me beyond my comfort zone in so many ways. My biggest obstacle in yoga has always been my hips; they are tight from running, lack of stretching, and my natural biomechanics. But, most of all, they are tight because it is where I hold tension. Those hips are starting to open. As those binding ligaments loosen, I can start to feel my mind relax as well. Stress moves out and acceptance moves in to take its place. My yoga instructor says, “Open hips, open heart.” I think she may be on to something.

I had to smile when I entered the gardens today. On my last visit two weeks ago, The petals on the tulips were closed tight, rigid and upright. Today, they were splayed open, faces towards the sun. Those tulips mirrored my own feelings.

The gardens were beautiful today, full of riotous color and fresh verdant growth. Of course, that also means they were full of onlookers; the quiet solitude of the early spring a thing of the past. I decided to approach my visit a little differently today. I pulled out my phone, interested my headphones, and started a track that contains meditative music that follows a diurnal rhythm. This allowed me to be in my own world and not be aware of the people filling the garden. I took a different route through the planting, maintaining a calm mind. This was my meditation today. I had no goals, no destination. I allowed myself to just be in the space. It was wonderful. Restorative.

I now feel open, face turned towards the sun.

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Taming the Monkey Mind: Days 8 & 9

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Don’t worry, the monkeys didn’t get me.  Not that they didn’t try…

Thursday was one of those days.  If I hadn’t made a public commitment to meditate for 28 consecutive days, I am afraid that Thursday would have marked the end of my streak.

I have pretty much established the routine of meditating for around 20 minutes in the morning before work.  Thursday’s schedule was off because my boyfriend was out of town, which leaves me with morning dog care.  I elected to not get up earlier (5:00 am is early enough on the day I teach two extra classes) and to meditate after work.  When I came home that afternoon to find my boyfriend’s car unexpectedly in the garage, my first thought was, “Yeah, he’s home,” followed by, “I need to make sure I don’t neglect meditation tonight.”  He and I do not get much evening time together between his martial arts and work schedules and my inflexible teaching hours.  That time we do have is precious, and I want to take advantage of it.

So, here’s how Thursday night went down.  After a warm greeting, small snack, and quick chat, I went to change into workout clothes.  I had already decided to run 3 miles that day along with 10 100-yard sprints, so I headed to the park to make it happen.  The running went well and allowed me to discharge the yuck from the day (Thursday’s are especially yucky, thus the intensity of the sprints was needed).

Then, a short drive home was followed by a second snack (dinner in 3 stages), and a shower.  My boyfriend was interested in trying (together) an 8:00 pm yoga class at our gym, which left me with about 30 minutes to myself before we would have to leave.  Now, at this point in the day, I had literally only sat to drive to and from work and to ingest food.  I had spent my day meeting the needs of others, which the exception of the run.  I was exhausted, physically and mentally.  All I really wanted to do was collapse and read for those 30 minutes.  But, I had made a commitment.

It was not a successful meditation as far as my mental focus was concerned.  But it was still a success for me.  First, I didn’t neglect the practice on a day when it would have been so easy to do just that.  Secondly, I noticed that, even though my mind was frenetic, my breathing was deep, even, and calm.  That is major progress.

We enjoyed the yoga class, and I even managed to sneak in a mini meditation during chavasana, with was made especially nice by the instructor’s expert classical guitar playing.

A small monkey. Singapore.
A small monkey. Singapore. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On Friday, I was back into the groove of my morning practice.  Or so I thought.  I used a guided meditation podcast that I had downloaded a few days prior.  I failed to notice that the playback speed was set to 2x.  Now that makes for an interesting meditation.  I guess it is one way to fit in it to a hectic schedule, but I must say, I wouldn’t recommend it.

So, the lessons from days 8 & 9: commit even when the practice isn’t perfect, meditation changes your breathing even when your mind isn’t aware of it, and check the playback speed before getting your om on.

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