No goodbye is ever easy.
You’re never quite ready even when you know it’s the right thing.
An hour ago, it was time to say goodbye to Maddy, the feline fuzz-ball that’s been with me through all of the transitions over the last 18 years.
As far as goodbyes go, it was a good one. She lived strong and happy until her final hours, Brock and I were both able to be with her and she never seemed to feel any pain.
But it’s still not easy.
I see her hairs everywhere. The closed door on the closet that, until moments ago, still held her littler box is shut for the first time since she became sick a year and a half ago. Tiger is mopey and refuses to leave my side.
I’m grateful I could be there at the end. As many animals as I’ve had, I was never there. I was too young for one, lived in a different city for another and the dogs from my former life all had new owners before it was time.
So it felt right to be there today. To hold that old body again returned to the weightlessness of her youth. To wrap her in the same soft blanket that soothed both of us during that awful year. And to see the peace and acceptance in her eyes.
No goodbye is ever easy.
But it’s a worthwhile tradeoff for a hello that lasted 18 wonderful years.
Lessons From the End of a Marriage 