The Importance of Love Mentors

Posted on by stilllearning2b

RelationshipsI have always tried to surround myself with mentors to help me grow in the various areas of my life.  I have people I look towards to help me improve as a teacher, others that help me move towards my wellness aspirations, and yet others I turn to for practical advice.  As my divorce unfolded, I realized I had an opening for a new type of coach:  a love mentor.

One of the happy side effects of undergoing a major life transition is that people feel comfortable sharing their own stories.  As I began to hear some of the love and marriage stories from the people in my life, I was shocked to find that many of them had been through divorce and love trauma in a former, yet unrevealed, life.  I heard the stories of betrayal, loss, and despair, yet I could look at their lives, filled with joy and, in many cases, a new relationship that had persisted over many years.

In those dark days when I wondered if I could ever love again, I found inspiration from my love mentors.  When I felt discouraged that I spent 16 years heading to a dead end, I gazed upon the decades many of them had spent with their new loves.  I saw how love could look different that what I had known, but still be beautiful.  I heard about the challenges and joys in second marriages.  My love mentors helped me find wisdom and hope through their stories.

Albatross of Opportunity

Posted on by stilllearning2b

 

 

“Everything happens for a reason.”

Has anyone ever  said that to  you?  Or, have you perhaps uttered it to someone facing a challenge.  That phrase, although I do appreciate its intent,is one of my pet peeves.  I guess because I am a student of secular humanism, or perhaps because I do not have a fatalistic view of the world, I believe that things happen.  Then,  it’s up to you what you do with it.

My ex leaving didn’t catapult me to where I am now, nor did it send me down some stream, meandering to my current location.  I had no say in him leaving, but I am where I am due to conscious decisions and and hell of lot of hard work.

I encourage you to see the struggles in your life as an albatross of opportunity.  There will be physcological pain and suffering, but you can choose to use that to initiate desired change in your life.  Accept that  bird around your neck for a time, but when it’s purpose has been served, loosen the bonds and set it free.

Downshift

Posted on by stilllearning2b

My biggest struggle in life has always been slowing  down.  I think I was born with my shifter stuck in high gear.  I’ve made progress in that arena, especially as I have welcomed yoga and meditation into my life.  I still have a ways to go, and I am  going to start by using these ten tips on how to slow down.

Sometimes It’s About What You Can Reach

Posted on by stilllearning2b

A small bowl of hot smoked Spanish paprika (pi...

I was engaged in my usual Sunday cook-a-thon last week when I faced a small dilema.   I wanted the smoked paprika (fancy, I know) for the recipe, but it was out of reach.  I keep this particular item on the top shelf of the spice cabinet due to its infrequent use.  Normally, I simply climb up on the counter below to reach the items on the top shelf.  At this particular time; however, my very full and very hot slow cooker was occupying the exact counter real estate where I would need to place my knees.

At first, I became frustrated.  I felt like the recipe wouldn’t be perfect without the addition of the smoked paprika.  Then, I glanced up, spying the perfectly normal and perfectly accessible paprika right in front of me.  It would do just fine.

Some days and some situations are not about trying to achieve perfection.  When you’re in a rough patch, trying to maintain a high standard can be daunting and add unneeded stress.  It is okay to redefine your goals and adjust accordingly.  Sometimes, it’s all about what you can reach.

And, for the record, no I did not think about pulling a chair over to reach the paprika.  There is probably a lesson in that too…

Statistically Speaking, It’s Probably Just Turbulence

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Anxiety has a way of making us think that every uncomfortable situation is the equivalence of a plane crash, but statistically speaking, it’s probably just turbulence.