Sleeping With the Anemone

 

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I love teaching on a big-picture basis. I like nothing more than seeing the lightbulbs as students master a new concept. I love the challenge of devising new ways to present complicated information. I thrive on the messages from former students that they now understand and enjoy math. I enjoy “adopting” 120 new personalities every year and watching them grow and change throughout the year. Once they have been in my classroom, they will always be one of “my kids,” even after they have kids of their own (yes, I have been teaching that long!).

I love teaching on a big-picture basis, but I can have a tendency to get bogged down in the details of low pay, never-ending meetings and ever-changing legislation. This is never more true than in the spring, as we gear up for the standardized testing season. My eyes and brain blur as I analyze data and compile reports. My energy wans just as the students become ever more excited for spring break and the elusive call of summer vacation. By March, students and teachers can grow cranky with each other, much like a family at the end of a long road trip. Are we there yet?

Sometimes I can forget the big picture.

And, sometimes, a magical moment brings it all into focus again. This weekend was filled with those moments.

I chaperoned an overnight field trip with 200 7th graders to the Georgia Aquarium, billed as the world’s largest.

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The luggage of 200 teenagers!

We arrived at the aquarium Friday afternoon, just as the last of the general public was making their way to the exits. The aquarium atrium, which I had never seen without shoulder to shoulder crowds, stood empty and quiet.

Kinda feel like Night at the Museum! Luckily, all the life was safely behind glass:)
Kinda feel like Night at the Museum! Luckily, all the life was safely behind glass:)

As we were led by our guides on a behind the scenes tour, I watched the students’ faces. Seeing their excitement and curiosity was infectious.

The "wave maker" from the top of one of the tanks
The “wave maker” from the top of one of the tanks
The world's largest tank from above. You can see one of the whale sharks at the front of the picture.
The world’s largest tank from above. You can see one of the whale sharks at the front of the picture.
I love jellyfish, but only from a safe distance!
I love jellyfish, but only from a safe distance!

By 11:00 (waaay past my bedtime1), the girls and female chaperones made our way to the large tank viewing area to bed down for the night.

This was the view from my sleeping bag.
This was the view from my sleeping bag.

I found myself sleeping much like I imagine new parents do – listening for trouble and staying constantly on alert. Every time I do an overnight trip with students, I have much more respect for the huge responsibility carried by parents.

This trip, with its learning and exploration unencumbered by paperwork and testing, reminded me of the big picture. I teach because I love the enthusiasm and inquisitiveness that fuels learning. I teach because I want every child to reach their potential. I teach because I don’t want a lack of knowledge to ever hold someone back from their dreams. I teach to share my passions with the hope that my students will pass it on.

And sleeping with the fishes is pretty cool too:)

I'm used to sleeping with a pit bull, so a whale shark isn't too strange!
I’m used to sleeping with a pit bull, so a whale shark isn’t too strange!

The End of the School Year

St. Pat's high school

The end of the school year is always a gentle reminder that it is the nature of things to end.  It is both a time for lamenting what has passed and celebrating the journey so far.  It is a time for clearing out the old in order to make room for the unknown.  It is a time for taking a respite, a breath, before the next chapter begins, as it always does, with new faces and new names.  Familiar and yet foreign and the cycle begins anew.

 

 

We Are More Malleable Than We Realize

Rendering of human brain.

I was in a gifted pull-out program in middle school.  My teacher decided to administer an inventory to determine where each of us fell on a left-brain (analytical, math) / right-brain (creative,language) scale.  Someone who was perfectly balanced (do these people exist?) would secure of score of 0.  Right-brain folks would be assigned positive numbers, and left-brained, negative.  Once we all had our scores, she had us line up along the board in order of our scores, leaving spaces where there were no students with the indicated number.  The entire class fit alongside the front of the room, with one boy straddling the door frame of the trailer classroom.  I was in the parking lot.

The rest of the class had scores within 10 points of center.  I was a 32.  A number which screams, “Danger! Danger!  This person will not be able to function in adulthood.  She will be fully consumed with creative endeavors and will have her head so high in the clouds her feet won’t touch the ground.”

So, as you would expect, I became a math teacher.

Okay, so it wasn’t really that simple.  I was born with that extreme right brain and my early childhood nurtured it, as I was encouraged to participate in all sorts of deliciously creative endeavors.  Once I entered school, I realized that I would have to change in order to be successful in this new environment (I also had a people-pleaser, perfectionistic streak or I probably would have stayed with the finger paints).  I began to adapt.  I learned how to exist in a left-brained world.  The better I got at it, the more I was drawn to math (after almost failing Algebra II, I might add).  It didn’t fully cement until college.  The pendulum swung the other way and I fully embraced the world on the other side of that middle school line.

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We are more malleable than we ever think we are.  We develop mental pictures of ourselves from a very early age, formed by our experiences and our encounters.  It is then so easy to live within those confines, to fully buy-in to those early mental constructs.  But we don’t have to.

In order to become more malleable, it is first necessary to soften.  Just as the thermostat helps the body reach that goal in hot yoga, applying warmth to your life helps to make your brain more malleable.  Practice acceptance.  Find support.  Be still and silence the inner critic.  Try to avoid the influence of the cold, as it only serves to make one more brittle.  Picture yourself basking in the sun, the heat softening you and allowing you to assume any form you wish, not limited by any prior assumptions.

And, you never know, you just might become a math teacher.