Slaying the Dragon

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Regrettably, this is a metaphorical slaying only. No dragons (or ex husbands, as the case is here) were harmed in the making of this post.

Unfortunately.

 

It’s been a rough 24 hours after seeing my ex husband for the first time in over 3 years. I almost wish that I had called in sick to work today so that I could have taken care of myself sooner. As it was, I ended up crying at my desk for the first time since the divorce was in progress. Not exactly a good way to start the work week. Luckily, I pretty much had the tears (but not the shakes) under control by the time the kids got there.

I’m finally getting back to normal now after employing my favorite dragon-slaying strategies:

1) Ask

I can have a tendency to be stoic. “Oh, I’m fine,” when I’m not. Yesterday, I didn’t pretend. I told Brock exactly what I needed. I let appropriate friends know so that I could have support. I blogged about it, baring all. The messages of support that have been pouring in all day have been amazing. Strengthening. I was afraid that I would be laughed at for reacting so strongly. So far, nothing could be further from the truth. You guys are amazing.

2) Eat

I’m bad about this one. When I’m stressed, my body locks down and I lose all appetite. Once I don’t eat, it becomes easier to not eat. There was no way my body could tolerate food yesterday, but I made healthy, filling food a priority today. This kind of tension and anxiety burns a lot of fuel and I have to eat to stay sharp.

3) Laugh

I’ve always used humor to deal with difficulties. In the case of my ex, most of it is dark, revolving around revenge-type fantasies. In hypothetical retrospect, here’s what I could have done yesterday:

-Posted a crowd picture (with him in it) of the festival on my website and let my readers play “Where’s Dumbo.”

He is actually just out of the frame on this one.
He is actually just out of the frame on this one.

-Hacked into the computer that was hooked up to a huge screen at the festival and play my Jeff Probst episode.

-Redecorate the cornhole (probably a regional name for the game, basically lawn beanbags) boards with his mugshot.

-Give the woman that was with him one of my Lessons From the End of a Marriage business cards. If it was my former wife-in-law, she’s obviously a slow learner and could use a refresher. If it was another woman, she could the head’s up.

-Give him one of my Action Potential Wellness business cards. He sure looked like he could use it. I’m embarrassed by this, but I do have to giggle at his girth. Shallow? Yes. Cliche? Yes. But still funny. He is now only a few pounds shy of the belly that his father sported that was a favorite roost for the dogs.

-The festival is in a very liberal, hipster area of town. I could have located his car and plastered it with Romney, Confederate flag and anti-gay stickers. Tee hee.

-One of my friends that was there is a CPA. He could have offered his services to my ex, as I’m sure he has not paid off the IRS from the innocent spouse relief.

-I could have waited until he entered a porta potty and “accidentally” sealed the door and perhaps even tipped it over. By day 3 of a brewery-sponsered festival, they were fairly ripe.

4) Run

8+ miles of hard-pavement pounding through a beautiful neighborhood by the river. Running is so perfect for these times – it drains the energy from the body and lets the mind process. I feel restored. And sweaty.

5) Bang

Get your mind out of the gutter! I’m not talking about that kind of banging (not that it isn’t a critical component of dragon-slaying:) ). I’m talking here about head banging – AKA heavy metal. I can just hear my mom on this this one, “Oh Lisa,” shaking her head, “You should listen to calming music. Metal will only make you more anxious.” Nope, sorry mom. You’re wrong. I find when I am ramped up, trying to force calm just backfires (my morning meditation today would have been more at home on the heavy bag). Instead, I need to feed the energy so that I can bleed the energy. Pantera and Disturbed fit the bill nicely today.

6) Rest

And now for the final stage in slaying the dragon. I’ve released the energy, fueled the body and relaxed the mind. Now it’s time to rest and lay the dragon to rest. Hopefully for good.

spirit

Just Had to Smile

Posted on by stilllearning2b

It’s standardized testing season around these parts. That means my brain is frying, my nerves are jangling and my back is aching. But it also means that I spend the day with a group of 6th graders, a whole other animal than the about-to-be high schoolers that I’m used to in the spring. They have a fun energy and innocence about them.

I never talk about my “other” life with my kids at school. It’s not really appropriate and “How to Survive a Divorce” doesn’t exactly tie into the math curriculum:) I’m not sure how much my 8th graders know about me, but these 6th graders surely know nothing.

I spotted a young adult novel by Jeff Probst in the hands of one of my 6th graders yesterday. I just had to smile:)

ANdres

 

Full Episode Online – Dumped by Text by Bigamist Husband

Posted on by stilllearning2b

If you wanted to see me on Jeff Probst but missed the original airing, you can now see the entire episode online.

Time Travel

Posted on by stilllearning2b

I’ve been time traveling lately. I should have known this was a risk when I picked up the audio version of The Time Traveler’s Wife from the local library to carry me to and from work. I guess the book should have come with a warning label that time travel is a possible side effect.

My own journey started a few weeks ago when I was contacted by a producer for The Jeff Probst Show. After several phone conversations, they invited me to do the show and informed me that a field production team would be at my house in three days to do part of the shoot and would be flown out to Los Angeles to do the show the following Tuesday. This was my first jolt through time; those three days past in a blink as I went shopping for an outfit, got my hair done (sorry Great Clips, had to upgrade this one), and prepared my classroom for a sub.

This is my normal name plate.

This was my name plate at the show. Surreal!

The field team showed up on Saturday afternoon. I immediately loved the field producer, a guy that used to work with Jeff on Survivor. (As an aside, my mom asked if I would do Survivor. My response? “I feel like I already have!”) He made me feel comfortable from the outset (not an easy task as I was preparing to film my first-ever real television experience). It was decided that I should don running clothes (so much for the carefully selected outfit 🙂 ) and that we would film at one of my running paths. I perched on a bench, surround by booms and cameras, while the producer knelt over a trash can (his stint on Survivor came in handy here!) just off camera to meet me at eye level. He led me through my story. I split in two at this point, one part of me reliving the early days of the courtship and marriage with my ex and the other sitting on a bench in a park that has only been known to me in my new life working on a project the old me could never have envisioned. The producer was amazing. He was gentle as he led me through the landmines of my past. He even teared up at one point.

Not a normal feature in my living room:)

As we lost our light, we moved back to the house to finish shooting. At one point, old wedding photos sat in current, re-purposed frames on my kitchen island. It was a shock, the past colliding with the present on the counter top. It was the first (and probably only) time my boyfriend has ever seen a picture of the ex-husband. It’s not like I keep his visage over the fireplace 🙂 All in all, it was a great day that left me exhausted and exhilarated.

Tuesday brought the literal time travel as I flew for almost 5 hours yet the clock told me it had been only 2. The last time I had been in L.A., I was about 11 and I was with my dad. I was convinced I was going to see Jon Bon Jovi on that trip. This time, I wasn’t concerned about seeing any 80’s rockers, I just wanted dinner…err…lunch. I had sure changed in the intervening years since that childhood visit, but Hollywood Boulevard is apparently resistant to time as it looked and smelled about the same.

I was in bed by 7:00 that evening, determined not to shift my sleep schedule for a one night stay. Of course, this meant I was up by 3:00 even though I wasn’t going to be picked up until 8:30. That left plenty of time for yoga. And nervousness. Which led to more yoga:)

Everyone at the studio was amazing. They were all super friendly, über professional, and very real. I got the sense they they cared about their product, cared about each other, and even cared about me.  It was a surreal feeling being led to my own greenroom instead of my classroom. I had my hair and makeup done when I would have been teaching equations. Strange. It turns out though that teaching was good preparation for this. I was complemented a few times that I was easy to work with since I talked in sound bites. I had to laugh and explain that it’s natural for me now since I teach 8th grade. They blank out after a couple sentences. I also wasn’t nervous about being in front of an audience. Jeff’s studio holds just under 150 people. Adults. That is so much easier than a cafeteria full of middle schoolers!

What I was nervous about was my story. They came up with an ingenious idea to start the segment that upped the drama and also upped my emotion. That was time travel in the most powerful way. It instantly took me back.

The show went well and oh-so fast. I barely remember the last segment after Jeff surprised me with some current information about my ex-husband. I walked off stage when it was over and made it back to my green room. Another team came followed me in to do an additional interview for their website based on some of the lessons from my book. It was so strange seeing my book in stranger’s hands.

If you have not seen The Jeff Probst Show yet, don’t wait any longer – set your DVR to record. It’s different than other daytime shows. Each episode has a theme and the guests’ connections to the theme may not be readily apparent (it kind of reminds me of the board game Tribond). Throughout every show, the focus is on facing your fears and living authentically and with adventure in your heart. It’s relatable feel-good with with wit.

I soon was headed back to the airport and further time travel. Just for the record, I can’t stand flying from the West coast to the East. The flight was faster due to the tail wind, but my 2:00 flight didn’t get me home until almost 11:00.  Okay, pouting over.

After the craziness of last week week where I talked about my past in my present to help provide for my future, life is beginning to settleback to normal. Sort of. I’m talking to other producers.

Oh, and as for The Time Traveler’s Wife? It is a great story and very well written. I highly recommend it. After you read Lessons From the End of a Marriage, of course 🙂

Tiger is completely unimpressed that his momma is going to be on TV. He just wants to go for a walk. Smart boy:)