Understanding Projection

9 Responses

  1. Sheila says:

    My ex told me I was Bipolar, OCD, Negative, lacked empathy, didn’t negotiate ( but we bought his parents a house, which I totally agreed to, without any thought of negotiation about using our money), “reneged” on deals, – the list was endless. Only later did I realise that it totally described his character. It has taken a long time, counselling and the support of great friends, for me to realise that I was, and never have been, any of these things. It’s very damaging and hurtful to be on the receiving end of this, from someone we believe to have loved us.
    I hope those out there who have experienced this, eventually believe in themselves and realise the truth.
    Life does get better without these toxic people.

  2. Letitgocoach says:

    This is spot on lovely. xx Anytime someone confronts you, or continually throws it up in your face, it’s usually a mirror they need to look in. It’s within them. xxx

  3. w0nderw0men says:

    Thank you for sharing this helpful post. If only I knew before the things that I am learning now!

  4. steven says:

    Im seeing a lovely woman 1.5 years after my ex wanted to separate with my good friend.
    I didn’ want this divorce. I cant stop thinking about my ex whom I still love and who blames me for the dissolution of our marriage- I would have done anything to fix it.
    That bothers me– she admits I am a good man and we have two children. why not try before blowing it all up. But that’s only scratching the surface of whats causing the suffering. Because I loved my life so much- being a family, having a best friend for 20 plus years, I cant enjoy the present. even my lovely girlfriend. I keep thinking about the past and what I;ve lost. I don’t know what to do and fear I will always feel this way which means a miserable life– they say its a choice but I cant seem to make my brain think any other way- the neural pathways are so strong.

    any advice? thank you so much.

    • Sheila says:

      Sorry you are “ruminating”. It has taken me 4 years to think about my ex without getting upset. He had remarried and I am on my own. I had a lot of counselling, which helped. I can only suggest trying to change your thoughts to something positive in the present, and being grateful for your current partner. Gratitude and forgiveness helps. It will get better. Wishing you all the best, and happiness in the future.

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