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Lessons From the End of a Marriage

A “How to Thrive” Guide After Divorce

Everything’s Going to be Okay

everything's going to be okay

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Everything’s going to be okay.

That was my mantra for that first, awful post-divorce year.

Everything’s going to be okay.

I would repeat those words in my head as I lay sleepless every night.

Everything’s going to be okay.

My friends and family would offer those words as comfort, reminding me that the “now” was not the always.

Everything’s going to be okay.

I imagined some future where he would face consequences and I would be relieved of mine.

Everything’s going to be okay.

Sometimes, I railed against that platitude, uncertain how anything could ever be okay again.

Everything’s going to be okay.

But still, I held onto those words like a life raft, wanting to be pulled free from the pain.

Everything’s going to be okay.

Those words were my Xanax against the panic, the overwhelming fear of unwanted change.

Everything’s going to be okay.

One day I realized that it really was okay. Maybe it wasn’t the okay I imagined, but it was okay nonetheless.

Everything’s going to be okay.

You may not know how and you may not know when but

Everything’s going to be okay.

Okay doesn’t mean approval; it means acceptance. And with that comes freedom.

Everything really is going to be okay.


Not okay?

Are you sick and tired of people reassuring you that it will be okay because “okay” seems impossible? This post is for you.

If you believe in “okay,” but you can’t seem to find it, you can find information and help here.

And if you’re struggling, please remember that the way you feel right now is not the way that you will always feel. Everything changes. Even suffering.

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36 thoughts on “Everything’s Going to be Okay

    1. I like this:) I found I also had to refine my idea of “end.” I just wanted it to be over. I thought the legal process would give me that closure, but I was mistaken. It’s more like moved on than finished.

    2. I so agree and I love this site. I separated 50 years ago. I was in grad school, with a three year old child and no income. When my “husband” asked me to take him back and he needed to know now — because if not he was moving in with his girlfriend — I laughed and walked away to a better life. It wasn’t always easy but it has become more fulfilling everyday.

  1. This is exactly the post I needed today! It literally has brought tears to my eyes. The last few weeks have been painful…just seeing this post does two things for me: 1. makes me realize I’m not alone and 2. reminds me that yes, everything will be ok. So…thank you. Now I need to go grab a tissue … 😉

    1. I’m so glad the timing was right. It’s so easy to think that how we feel right now is how we will always feel. But you won’t. It will be okay. Hugs.

      1. Well…you kinda gave me the kick in the booty to snap out of my little funk. Love your blog! It’s wonderful! Thanks again and you have a fabulous day!

  2. I really couldn’t imagine that is something that would ever be possible. But you are spot on. Like putting one foot in front of the other carries you along life’s path.
    Holding on to the fact that today is not forever.
    Thank you for reminding me. !!!!

  3. I keep saying these words to myself ALOT lately. I just keep trying to convince myself that it WILL be ok even when I find it most difficult to believe. Great post! Thank you.

  4. I say that…and then I say please be true, please be true, please be true, please be true…..
    Please, can you tell me it’s really true?

  5. Still feeling worthless, and unloved. Why did this happen? Does he ever “remember”, does he ever think of me? This is what goes through my head on a daily basis. Reading your post makes me feel a little better. Everything will be ok, in time.

    1. It will be. Question for you- If he was a stranger to you and you learned that he had treated somebody else the way he’s treated you, would you value his opinion? Would you seek his affections?

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