Divorce Insurance

My mom recently bought a new car which seemed to come with a seemingly endless stream of extended warranty offers and additional insurance opportunities. Insurance is an industry that capitalizes on our fears, offering reassurances in exchange for money and promising certainty rather than risk.

Insurance plays tricks on our brains. We somehow think that because we are aware of the risk and we addressed it up front, that the particular calamity will not strike. We unconsciously see our payout as a bit of a bargain with fate – if I pay now, you won’t make me pay later.

We want reassurances that everything will be okay and that disaster will not follow us home. And while some insurance is certainly a wise choice, it can be easy to allow the cost of fear to drain you.

Risk is a part of life.

And no insurance company can alleviate all loss and some pain and suffering is resistant to even the most generous sums.

 

As I was talking to my mom about her options, I wondered if anyone had ever tried to sell divorce insurance. It turns out that someone has.  The policy costs $15.99 per unit per month and matures after 48 months, whereupon it pays out $1,250 per unit purchased. If only protection against divorce were that easy.

From what I can tell, the company is not currently offering new policies. I guess the underwriting proved too complicated even though the actuarial numbers support a hefty profit. Plus, the money only helps to pay for the divorce and rebuilding expenses; it does not provide a happy marriage.

Maybe I can suggest another type of marriage guarantee – the extended warranty. It should be a more sure investment since the warranty is designed to expire before most marriages break down. Here’s what I envision:

 

marriage warranty

 

 

Of course it’s not possible to limit marital risk in such a way. Perhaps instead of insurance, we would be better served by developing our own life assurance policies. 

 

Life Assurance Policy

life is not a waiting room

My parents are of an age where their friends and acquaintances are dying in ever-increasing numbers. Some of them are felled before they make it to retirement, some of them have been there awhile and others have found that elusive balance between work and play for much of their lives.

I’m of age where retirement feels eons away and I find it easy to assume that I have many tomorrows to fill with my dreams. I file plans for retirement as easily as I put money into my pension.

Of course, I know there are no guarantees in life. I may not make it until retirement. The carefully saved money could disappear. The health I’m blessed with could be taken with one illness or a single accident. The people I want to spend time with may no longer be around. I’ve already faced the loss of one dream with the collapse of my marriage; others may still follow.

The other day, I learned from my father about another death. A man who had been looking forward to having time to pursue his passion. A passion which is now to be carried out by those who loved him. The conversation gave me pause. We so often delay our passions due to necessity – the bills that need to be paid, the house that needs upkeep and the tasks that accompany life. It’s so easy to forget those things which make us truly alive while we tend to those minutiae which keep us alive.

Immediately following that conversation, Brock called from his business trip. He had some information that was making him think about his future, causing him to question the retirement he was planning. We had an interesting talk, weighing the “now” versus the “maybes” in the future, trying to extrapolate the potential repercussions down the road of various choices. We arrived at no answers, only a sense of clarity and of shared purpose in our goals. For now, that’s enough.

I used to think that if I kept quiet, played by the rules, that everything would be okay. That was my life assurance policy. Unfortunately, the premium on the policy was way too high – causing me to pay with procrastination of passion, keeping me in a waiting room of life. And then, when those promises of a secure future for a faithful wife and hard worker failed to materialize, it turned out that the policy didn’t pay.

That experience was like one of near-death. I live in a way I didn’t before now that I truly comprehend how much of an illusion security can be.

I’ve now written my own life assurance policy. It’s more a list of promises to myself than anything. A list that reminds me to live for today. The premium only requires that I remind myself of my promises and stay true to my own beliefs. It requires no forms and no salesmen. It’s fully transferable and never expires. And that’s a life assurance policy I can feel good about.

Lisa’s Life Assurance Policy

-Remember your passions. Find a way to incorporate them into daily (or at least weekly) life. Ignore the excuses the brain kicks up – that’s only fear talking.

-Don’t spend more time/money/energy on tomorrow than you do for today. Every day and every interaction is worth it.

-Be smart about planning for tomorrow but don’t waste time worrying about tomorrow. There is too much you cannot foresee and cannot control.

-Become at peace with change. It’s not going anywhere; you might as well get used to it.