Why Is Bringing Up Divorce Considered to Be Awkward?

Posted on by stilllearning2b

The headline on my news feed grabbed my attention.

Kelly Ripa Wraps Up First Week Back to ‘Live!’ With Awkward Divorce Comment to Michael Strahan

The names didn’t garner my notice – I haven’t seen Kelly Ripa since she was a newbie next to Regis and I had never even heard Michael Strahan’s name at that point.

What drew my eye was “awkward divorce.” And so I clicked.

And grew confused. I have not seen the clip, but from what I have read, the comment didn’t seem to merit the backlash it has been getting. The, “How dare she bring up his divorces?” As though the mere mention of divorce is taboo.

Fueling the stigma and feeding the shame surrounding divorce.

Maybe I’m just desensitized from years of teaching middle schoolers who randomly shout out things like, “How old were you when you first kissed a boy?” in the middle of a lesson on factoring polynomials, but it takes a lot to offend or surprise me.

Certainly more than referencing divorce.

Especially when it’s part of a question with the intent to learn (which it seems was Kelly Ripa’s goal as they were discussing bird’s nest coparenting).

Divorce is “the thing that shall not be named” in our current culture, as though the utterance of those two syllables will bring it to your doorstep.

It’s time for divorce to come out from the shadows. For those impacted to be able to speak without fear of judgment. For those with questions to feel free to ask them. And if they go unanswered, it is because of personal choice rather than from societal pressure to remain mute.

I have been part of more conversations about the intricacies of childbirth around lunch tables than I have about the end of relationships. And yet the experience is just about as universal.

Divorce is most often discussed with other divorcees. Behind closed doors or in members-only groups. But they’re not the only ones who can benefit from that discussion. Because those seeking to prevent it can learn from those who have endured it. By making it taboo, it only increases the mystery, shame and fear surrounding it. Talking about it, rather than increase its likelihood, may actually have the opposite effect as lessons are passed around.

Divorce is hell, but talking about it doesn’t have to be awkward.

 

 

How to Become a Huffington Post Blogger

Posted on by stilllearning2b

In the last few weeks, I have been receiving quite a few inquiries about how I started blogging for the Huffington Post.  The short answer?  It was a combination of daily work and luck.  Here are my tips for those of you who are interested in getting your writing out on the big stage:

Image representing Huffington Post as depicted...

1) Read the Huffington Post.  Daily.  You don’t have to read the entire site, just focus on the sections which are of interest to you and are similar in topic to your writing.  You won’t know what they are looking for if you are not familiar with the material on the site.  I find that it is easiest to subscribe to my sections of interest  in my RSS reader so that I get a notification when a new article is posted.  That becomes especially important with tip #2.

2) Comment on articles and blogs.  Take the time to craft well thought out responses that add to the post or provide an alternate view in a respectable tone.  The best comments provide some information while hinting that you have more to say on the topic at hand.  Leave them wanting more.  You can link to your blog or your other writings on the topic.  This is where the work comes in; I spend thirty minutes or so a day reading and commenting on appropriate articles.

3) In the meantime, work to create a body of writing if you have not already.  This shows your writing style as well as demonstrates that you have a unique view or story to share.

Writing

4) Keep this up for a while and you may get lucky and have an editor contact you with a blog idea.  If this doesn’t happen, then proceed to #5.

5) On the “Contact Us” link on Huffington Post you will find a link to submit a pitch for a blog.  They give you the option of submitting the full text or just a description of your blog idea.  I have not gone this route, but I would recommend submitting the entire post so that your ability to craft a quality product is not in question.  Also, write about an area where you are passionate; it will show in your writing and will pull others in.

I wish everyone the best on their writing, whether you keep a private journal, a public blog, or are working to become a published author.

You can find my Huffington Post submissions here. My book is available on Amazon and you can read about my experiences with publishing here and here.

Huffington Post also led to my appearance on The Jeff Probst Show!