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Are You Setting Healthy Boundaries or Hiding Behind Walls?

9 Responses

  1. zombiedrew2 says:

    Something I’ve come to believe in the past few years…

    when a relationship fails it often has very little to do with the relationship, and instead has much more to do with identity and a sense of self. The idea that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else is very true.

    I have heard countless stories where a couple is in love, but over time one of the partners pulls away and builds up walls. It later turns out that person never really knew who they were, or loved themselves. Instead, they sublimated who they were and presented the “self” that they believed was expected of them.

    Over time this causes strain, as they aren’t being true to themselves and come to resent playing a role. Their partner doesn’t see “all of them”. But that’s not the partners fault, it’s because of walls they have built and what they have allowed them to see.

    • This is an insightful comment and, to me, does spell out what can go wrong in a relationship. Thank you.
      The setting setting boundaries versus building walls is also important when one finds oneself alone after a break-up.

    • Llyane says:

      Drew, sorry… I have no words LOL, you worded in a paragraph what I have learned in 30 years 🙂 But then again, 30 or 20 or 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have actually understood your words. Wow, thanks for this!

  2. Lisa, I found this to be one of your best posts and truly resonated with me. Thank you.

  3. FlaGirl says:

    I can identify with your insightful views on boundaries. It is so easy to put up walls without realizing as self-protection. In the end,, this is just self destructive.

  1. April 5, 2019

    […] experiencing heartbreak, it’s natural to take a protective stance, to build emotional walls in an attempt to head off any additional pain and loss. These precautionary barricades serve an […]

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