The Most Difficult Part of a Second Marriage

One of the most difficult aspects of a second marriage is not inviting your first spouse into the union.

Not literally, unless you’re into that sort of thing and you have a California king filling your master bedroom, but emotionally. My ex-husband committed literal bigamy. I have been guilty in my new marriage of practicing emotional bigamy, of listening to the past and allowing its whispers to drive my responses in the present.

Early last fall, my new husband and I purchased a home. From the beginning, he expressed an interest in converting the partial basement to a small home theater. His intention? A space for us to enjoy together and share with friends. My reaction? Complete and utter panic. Rational? Not in the least. But based on experience and rooted in fear. Click here to read the rest.

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2 thoughts on “The Most Difficult Part of a Second Marriage

  1. I think that so much baggage is carried into second marriages, whether the first marriage broke up because of an affair or not. It’s the reason why second marriages have a 75% divorce rate, I guess. But at least you are recognizing your unfair/irrational/expected reaction to your husband’s wish for a home theater. Recognizing this sort of destructive impulse is more than half the battle

  2. I keep repeating to myself a line from rent about luggage that looks like mine. Reminding myself we all have it and I do not have to beat myself or others with my history. You help, you help immensely.

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