Mindfulness is a Highlighter

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Do you turn your gaze when you receive a shot?  Dream of a tropical island while you are on the dentist’s chair?  Imagine walking on the beach while you are crushed into the seats in coach for a cross-country flight?  Our minds are so good at these little disconnections, these travels away from the current discomfort.  The problem is that, as with anything we repeatedly do, that mental disconnection can become a habit.

Deception Pass and Fidalgo Island
Deception Pass and Fidalgo Island (Photo credit: WorldIslandInfo.com)

When I take an honest look back at my life, I can see that I have, at times, become too dependent upon my mind’s ability to wander.  I had two years of teaching where I was completely miserable due to the circumstances at the school.  In order to cope, I distracted myself as much as possible.  I was not present in that classroom at all, although I still made connections with the kids and had test scores that proved they mastered the material.  I knew that I was unhappy with work, but when I realized how dependent I had become on disconnected, I knew that I had to make a change.  A drastic one.

Mindfulness is a highlighter.  Examine your own life.  When do you tend to engage in mental escape?  That is a clue that something about that environment, situation, or relationship may need to change because it is causing you pain.  Or, perhaps, you need to be honest with yourself about the discomfort and change your approach to it.  Regardless, mentally running away from any lasting situation will not be of benefit.  Bring your focus to the present and connect with what is causing you discomfort. As with studying a textbook, the highlighted areas are the ones that need more attention.

Locked Out

Posted on by stilllearning2b

Apparently when I left my classroom Friday afternoon, I left my keys on my desk, as my mind swirled with the weekend yet ahead.  So much for mindfulness and being in the moment.

So now, I am locked out.  At least I realized it yesterday, so I’m, not shivering in a cold car in the parking lot of the school.

But now I am left with time, time I do not usually have, and a growing sense of urgency of what needs to be done at work.

I am a morning person by nature, so I tend to get to school early, using that time to plan, prep, and grade.  As a result, I am usually able to leave on time and avoid bringing work home.  Thus also works with my anxious nature; I function best when I get everything done up front.  A trait I have coined “reverse procrastination.” When I can’t get in early, my mind starts to flurry, doubts of being ready for the day creep in, and my thoughts become irrational.  In the past, if I had found myself in this same situation, I would have made the drive to school at the normal time, hoping for a stray custodian or coach to notice me and open the door.

Colorful Door
Colorful Door (Photo credit: brentdanley)

Today, I choose to wait.  Today, I choose to not let the anxiety build.  I know that I will be able to get done what I need to before the starting bell rings.  And, anything that does not happen can wait until the next day.  Or perhaps even the next.  It is okay to have a list where not every item is crossed off.

I usually practice yoga in the mornings before work.  Today, that is taken from me too, as my shoulders are protesting after an intense 90 minutes power class yesterday.

I’m working to accept the discomfort I feel at my normal routine being disrupted.  To be in the moment and and peace with what is, letting go of my expectations.  I have time.  I think I will meditate for a bit, and then take advantage of an empty house (the boyfriend had an early appointment today) and blast 80’s hair metal while I get ready.

Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution
Image via Wikipedia

Five Reasons My Cat is Smarter Than Me

Posted on by stilllearning2b

My cat, who has been with me for the last 15 years,  has never been known for her intellectual prowess.  However, I had recently had to admit that she is, in fact, smarter than me for the reasons enumerated below:

1)  She Know How to Nap

My cat can go from full-on gecko chasing mode to comatose in no time flat.  She never has to read or go through elaborate rituals to fall asleep.  She never complains that her to-do list is too long to rest for a bit.  She doesn’t worry if the bed (or couch, or floor) isn’t “just right.”  She simply sleeps when she wants.  Maybe next time I want to nap, I’ll try chasing geckos first.

2) She Lets Her Needs be Known Clearly

Now, granted her needs are fairly simple: food, water, and a clean litter box, but, nevertheless, she always makes sure her caretakers know what she needs.  She doesn’t hint around or expect mind-reading, just vocalizes to garner attention and then leads the nearest human to the vessel that needs attention.

3) She Accepts What Is

I have to admit, I am  making some assumptions here, but I think  it is safe to conclude that Ms. Kitty is not spending time comparing her current situation to her past.  She exists completely in the “now” and doesn’t ruminate on the “then”.

4) She Has Learned Not to be Anxious

Maddy used to be an anxious feline; she even had to be sedated for a cross-country move when she was a kitten.  In fact, every move was very stressful for her.  She and I recently completed our fourth move in two-and-a-half years.  With each move, her anxiety over the situation decreased.  She seemed to understand that even though the ordeal would be stressful and that change was imminent and inevitable, she had survived this before and would again.  So, there is no need to get all “fight and flighty” about it, just go with it and enjoy the exploration of the new.

5) She Trusts Her Intuition

This is where she really has me beat.  In the last several months of my marriage, Maddy seemed stressed.  She slept more, she wasn’t as affectionate, and she even avoided the dogs which were normally her buddies.  Looking back, I was also anxious during that time, though I ignored it since I saw no rational reasons to be upset.  I had a mental image of what was, and as the human brain is so apt to do, I ignored or explained anything that caused any cognitive dissonance.  Cats don’t operate that way; they simply see what is.  In our current home, with her new daddy and doggie brother, I am happy to say that Maddy is more relaxed and more social than she has ever been.  I’m going to trust her on this one.  After all, she is smarter than me.